Advent Calendar of Hotness Day 7: Kayne Lawton

Leave it to me to disappear for a while again, only to resurface when it’s time to dedicate the entire holiday season to ogling men. For today’s delicious treat, a BIG thank you to CuteSports for bringing this one to my attention this summer. I’m pretty sure I single-handedly increased traffic on Google image searches for this gent’s name because of how many times I went on and on to every girl and gay man that hey, maybe Australian Rugby should be aired over here! I will warn you though – it is Friday, and some of these are not for the faint of heart. Oh how I’ve missed posting…

Great Eight: The Memphis Grizzlies

If a miracle 3 pointer hadn’t saved the Spurs last night, this post would have been a celebration of the Memphis Grizzlies unlikely domination of the #1 seed in the Western Conference. Not only have 8 seeds won NBA playoff series only two previous times in history, the Grizzlies, in both their Memphis and Vancouver incarnations, had never won a playoff game before this series.

So it’s now 3-2, and still possible the Spurs (being the Spurs) could pull off two more wins and restore numerical sanity to the playoffs.  Regardless, Memphis has been entertaining to watch … and not too shabby in still pictures, either! Perfect for trying out our new gallery capabilities.

Hit and Run: With Spring in our Step

Here's Marquette, whose victory over Syracuse last night made me cry. (Photo: Getty Images)

It’s Monday. How are your brackets looking? Like hell? Thought so.

First of all, a warm welcome to our special guest Ladies… Bracket Brawl participants: Melissa_thistle, Courknee35, Big10Bias and fellow Canuck/friend of the blog Andrew Bucholtz (you will go read his blog The 55-Yard Line now, won’t you?) Our current leader isn’t in our Ladies… group – due to technical difficulties, we had to create another group on ESPN.com so one gal could get her picks in. That gal is Buffalita, leading the pack with 460 points and picking Ohio State to win it all. CuteSports and Raven round out the Top 3 at 440 and 430 points respectively. Any hopes I had of repeating last year’s surprise success have been flushed down the proverbial toilet. I blame Butler.

Best of luck heading into Thursday! Sweet Sixteen will be hopefully be sweet for some of you.

So what else is going on?

Ladies and Gentlemen…

…Roy Halladay. Do I even need to say anything else?

HI EVERYONE ROY HALLADAY THREW A NO HITTER IN HIS FIRST POSTSEASON APPEARANCE AND I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO USE PUNCTUATION

PS IT WAS ONLY THE SECOND ONE IN A LITTLE THING WE LIKE TO CALL HISTORY

PS NUMBAH TWO: OH AND HE THREW A PERFECT GAME THIS YEAR ALREADY.

For real, I kind of think my husband would be okay if I left him for Roy. Actually, I kind of think he might leave me for Roy. I’m not sure I blame him.

World Cup Hotties: Group B

We start with the men of Argentina. Follow the jump for all the lovlies:

Diego Pozo

We Wait With Bated Breath

I’m sorry – the National’s game is SOLD OUT???  Did Ted Williams come back from the freezer to don a Nat’s jersey?

Seriously, if you’ve ever been to a Nat’s game, it’s a veritable ghost town – which is fine by me, I hate waiting in line for a beer!

World Cup Group A Hotties

The World Cup starts on Friday, so it’s time to freshen up your memory of the wonderful, toned, grass-kicking hotties the soccer world has to offer, Starting with Group A.

Here’s a teaser, but follow the jump for much, much more!

The fine, fine men of France (with, by far, the hottest team in this bracket):

Djibril Cisse

Bringing the Heat…The Pittsburgh Pirates

Listen, Pirates fans – I know you get picked on. I’m certain a post from a Brewers fan isn’t going to go over so well with you after we beat you last Thursday 20-0. However, I discovered last week that you girl Pirates fans have little to complain about. Though the scoreboard may sometimes make you want to cover your eyes, the view on the field is enough to keep a Lady coming back for more.

Who care what the record is – these Pittsburgh Pirates are hot! So hot, in fact, that the first time Garrett Jones came to bat, my mother stopped what she was doing to say “who’s that?”

Sadly for us, these hapless Pirates don’t receive too much media coverage and pictures are somewhat difficult to come by. Maybe there are even more pretty Pirates that I missed out on. Let me know if the comments if someone else needs to make it on our radar.

Follow the jump to meet these Pirates Pretty boys

Bringing the Heat: 1986 Toronto Blue Jays

The baseball offseason is a long, lonely and chilly period. Baseball fans are forced to obsess over the minutiae of Hot Stove baseball: whether the third-best middle reliever on your team will file for free agency, the theoretical pros and cons of a six-man rotation, how many different teams will diss A-Rod before he goes crawling back to the Yankees.

So when the folks over at The Sporting News approached us with the opportunity to participate in a Strat-O-Matic recreation of the 1986 baseball season (1986: Take Two), we naturally grabbed ahold of that opportunity like a drowning man to a liferaft. We didn’t even really care what team we got (there is enough baseball love amongst the Ladies… to go around for just about every team)- so when we were given the Toronto Blue Jays, we were quite tickled. They’re so plucky! And so Canadian! And they have RANCE MULLINIKS- with a guy named that on our roster, we were bound to win.

Now we don’t have to obsess over that Hot Stove stuff, we can obsess over what Dave Stieb’s WHIP was against left-handed batters in June of 1986, or whether we should carry an extra DH or outfielder, or just how many ridiculous trades we can propose to Curt Schilling (who is managing the Red Sox against us in the AL East) before he blocks our email address. And we have a baseball project that will require daily management right up until May- when real-life baseball will be in full swing again (hallelujah). I would disclose how many hours and hours and hours we’ve spent researching stats and tweaking lineups and reviewing recordbooks… but it’s just too frightening. J-Money and I are co-piloting this crazy ship- but never fear, we’re dragging the other baseball-fanatic Ladies… along with us for the ride.

Our season officially kicked off last Tuesday, and we’re off to a rousing 5-3 start (damn you, Kansas City Royals!) — and to celebrate, we’re doing a run-down of the hotties on the 1986 Blue Jays. So get ready- put on your retro ’86 Jays cap (I have one) or jersey (J-Money has that)- because after the jump you’re about to behold Rance Mulliniks and the rest of the mustachioed Blue Jays in all their glory…

Bringing the Heat – Arizona Diamondbacks

Last weekend of the regular season and the Arizona Diamondbacks are right in the thick of the National League race. So as you settle in for a sports gluttony weekend of one of the tightest NL finishes (OMG CLARE AND METSCHICK FREAKING OUT!) here is a quick guide to the D’Backs who might just cause you to shake your rattle.

And since this is last of the team-by-team MLB hottie profiles, I am getting out the glue gun, my best silver sparkle pen, and doing up the guys bulletin board style. (Best viewed in Firefox or IE, and yes, make sure your Flash is up to date.) Just sit back and let the hotties mesmerize you with their beauty…

Bringing The Heat: Chicago Cubs

Lovable Losers. Curse of the Billy Goat. 99 years and counting. Cubs fans have had to endure it all.

But this year is a little different. Not only did the Cubbies field a talented team this season that produced on the diamond (exactly how well they produced won’t be known until Sunday)… they also managed to put together a roster full of cuties (and that’s even without uber-hottie Todd Walker).

You’re not going to find any pretty boys on this team, guys who overindulge on hair products (cough*PatBurrell*cough) or spend hours in front of the mirror (cough*ARod*cough). But you are going to find a handsome group of guys who are so hardworking and scrappy and cute you just want to take them home and bake them a nice batch of oatmeal cookies.

Everyone loves the Cubs- even Andie!- so just give in and sing along with me:

They got the power, they got the speed
To be the best in the National League
Well this is the year and Cubs are real
So come on down to Wrigley Field

Go, Cubs, go!
Go, Cubs, go!
Hey, Chicago, what do you say?
The Cubs are gonna win today!

Check out all the lovely Cubby goodness after the jump…

Bringing the Heat: The Boston Red Sox

Even though he broke my heart, broke my crock pot, and eventually left me for a woman who wears slouch socks, my last boyfriend gave me something that I’ll cherish forever: bitterness. Bitterness and the opportunity to see my beloved Red Sox win the 2004 World Series.

On the night that the Sox beat the Yankees in the ALCS, completing their historic comeback and putting them in the Fall Classic for the first time since watching new episodes of 227 and Amen made for a sweet Saturday night, we had the following conversation:

Him: So tonight was pretty important?
Me: Hells yeah! The Sox won the ALCS!
Him: Isn’t that what Lou Gehrig had?
Me: No, that was Lou Gehrig’s disease.
Him: Nevermind.

Bringing The Heat: Oakland Athletics

The Oakland Athletics have long held the crown of the hottest team in baseball- the team that’s as much fun to watch stretch during BP as actually play baseball during a game. This year, with the downturn in the team’s on-field fortunes and the unfortunate string of guys sent to the DL, the A’s have also turned into a pipeline of hotness that keeps all the other teams in baseball fully stocked on hotties. Thank goodness for the gold and green.

But even without dearly departed hotties Todd Walker, Barry Zito, Ryan Langerhans and Bobby Kielty, the Athletics are still smokin’ hot. Take a gander at what Oakland has to offer after the jump…

Bringing the Heat – Detroit Tigers: Bonus Granderson Interview and Player Yearbook Photos Included!

It is almost not fair. We have been doing this MLB “Bringing the Heat” series all summer long; team by team, hottie by hottie, forearm by forearm, smile by smile, glute by glute, and I would wager that none – none – of the other teams even come close to stacking up to how hot the Detroit Tigers’ roster is on and off the field.

Our readers have been emailing all summer waiting for this post. They knew that here at Ladies…, not only were we going to find the best looking guys on the team, but we were going make sure to serve it up with something a little special. Well, how about a couple helpings of something special?

In a Ladies… first, an interview with Detroit center fielder and fellow blogger, Curtis Granderson. Followed by a full on smorgasboard of the finest looking Tigers in the land. And for dessert? How about some of cutest yearbook photos of Sean “The Mayor” Casey you will ever see?

I thought you’d be interested.

Batting first, as always, Mr. Granderson.

The Pacific Northwest Hotties of the Seattle Mariners

I’m sorry to be That Girl, but it’s true: There is a dearth of hotties on the Seattle Mariners’ roster, which is too bad because Seattle is such a beautiful city. Observe:

That mountain is like, 70 miles away, too. (Photo by Daniel Arndt. Thanks, dude!)

You’d think the scenery at Safeco Field would be better (I mean, they have art from Seattle-area artists all over the place — so cool!) but aside from Ichiro, who’s cute in his wacky cryptic way, rounding up a bunch of Mariner studs from Seattle was, well, difficult.

More…intensity!

EDITED!  To include Grampy Jamie Moyer goodness!

St. Louis Cardinals Hotties

The day is here! Cardinals Hotties!!! I don’t particularly want to talk about the ups and downs I’ve been going through since the end of July. And that is NOTHING compared to what they’ve been through. Death and injuries, including the fact that we still don’t know if Juan Encarnacion will ever be the same. For today, let’s just focus on hotties. Let’s start with one of my favorite pictures of the bunch. Not only do I love Albert Pujols and Yadier Molina, but they have this cute little handshake celebratory thing they do that I just lurve.

Three hotties, YAHTZEE!

Bringing the Heat: Colorado Rockies

Texas Gal may have turned me on to Papyboo and his thousand-yard stares (I’m only human, y’all), but in my heart there’s only one baseball boyfriend: Rockies first baseman and good ol’ Tennessee boy Todd Helton, who just became the first player to hit 35 doubles in ten consecutive seasons.

More Rockies for you to tap (sorry) after the jump.

Good Morning Baltimore

When I was in the eighth grade, my family took a trip to Baltimore which I was, honestly, not looking forward to. It was one of those vacations disguised as a learning experience which, when you’re a kid, is the only thing more disappointing than watching a cartoon and realizing that there is a thinly-veiled religious message and that the talking zucchini may, in fact, be Jesus. My parents selected Baltimore as our destination because it is a city rich in American history, literature, and homicide. Actually, the latter was less a selling point and more an excuse to make me wear one of those child leashes in the rare case that there was an unhinged individual in our Fort McHenry tour group who would’ve flown into a rage at the sight of my crimped hair and pleated Duckhead shorts.

The early highlight of the trip was when the waiter at one restaurant gave me a theatrical wink and handed me a brochure for the aquarium. He’d written his name and phone number in black Sharpie on the shell of a sea turtle, undaunted by the fact that I was thirteen and on a leash. (Note to self: Start wearing leash again). On the last day, perhaps tired of stepping over chalk outlines or trying to delicately explain why I couldn’t have an “I Got Crabs in Maryland” t-shirt, my dad suggested that we go to an Orioles game.

I was totally unprepared for the hotness roaming the outfield that year, the hotness that was Brady Anderson. Those sideburns. Those biceps. The lack of tuberculosis (which made him infinitely more attractive than my previous Baltimore crush–Edgar Allen Poe–who admittedly should’ve been less desirable since he potentially had rabies. Oh, and was dead). Anyway, that day I fell hard for Brady, a man so hot he made my braces sweat. After the game, I immediately bought a #9 t-shirt and couldn’t wait to write “Dr. & Mrs. Brady Anderson” on my Trapper Keeper, because I was sure that he would attend classes at night and eventually become the best-hitting neurosurgeon in his practice group.

Bringing the Heat: The Washington Nationals

Our nation’s capital, home to the President, several of Deadspin’s finest, and the Nationals.

I love D.C. Who doesn’t? It’s an amazing city, steeped in history, flush with great restaurants and bars, and has an awesome sports scene. What it does not have is a good looking baseball team.

Bringing the Heat: and TWINS!

The Minnesota Twins are kind of the Little Match Girl of the AL Central this year. They’ve got their dirty little faces pressed up against the window, watching the Tigers and Indians feast and be merry. The Twins are 6 games out of first place, which isn’t a ridiculous amount, but the Tigers and Indians just do not seem to give any ground. Also, their rotation seems to be……well…..Johan Santana and Pray for Rain. He has the third-lowest ERA in the American League. He has more strikeouts than the next two Twins pitchers put together. He’s a big ol’ studmuffin, but that’s about it. And here he is:

Bringing The Heat: Texas Rangers

When I was younger my father’s job transferred him to their offices in Plano, Texas. At the time (around age 13,14) I wanted to stay in South Carolina and be with my friends and family, etc.

I was such a fool.

There are many beautiful things of the male species that comes out of that great state. And I was an idiot to want to stay here. Don’t get me wrong, South Carolina is nice. But have you seen the ass that comes out of Texas with every team? It’s unfair. It is so unfair.

And while the Texas Rangers aren’t a team full of literal home grown talent, they still serve up some hottie goodness to the baseball world.

(Yes, I know Mark Teixeira doesn’t play for the Rangers anymore. But I’ve already done the Braves and he’s too hot to leave out of these “Bringing the Heat” posts. Plus he looked damn good in that uniform.)

Bringing the Heat – Pittsburgh Pirates

Yesterday I got in touch with an old college boyfriend. I’d seen his name around the Fanhouse last football season and he’s working at some fantasy sports site on the side in addition his normal broadcast duties, yadda yadda yadda.

He’s out there in sports land, (albeit on a professional level), and I get to be apart of this rockin’ little sports blog, so I thought I’d drop him a line just to say “hi”.

One of the first things he says to me?

You realize the Pirates haven’t had a winning season since we last spoke. Coincidence?

Unfortunately, there is no comeback to that line. I said something about the Steelers, Super Bowls, and the young Penguins, but really, that phrase could hang in the air for weeks and still sting just as much. It is with that in my head, that I had to start working on this post.

I know the “Bringing the Heat” pieces are supposed to be upbeat celebrations of the hotties, and I am going to try my damnedest to do provide just that, despite how depressing I find it to be a Pirates fan.

So now that the lobotomy is over, on to the hotties!

Bringing the Heat – New York Yankees

Everyone hates the Yankees.

Everyone.

None of the other Ladies would even admit that hotties existed on the Yankees. I say, F-that noise.

Give me the man in a motorcycle jacket. Give me the outsider. Give me the stud that all the pansies mock, because deep down inside, they know they do not measure up.

I don’t want your saccharine-sweet cuddly pretty boys.

Give me the villain.

This is how you see the Yankees. Evil. I’m giving you the villain you think you know on the outside, but click through the image, and you will be getting the hottie you know is there. Waiting for you.

Smoldering. Hot. Bad. Boys.

Bringing the Heat: The Toronto Blue Jays

The last Canadian MLB team, the Toronto Blue Jays, is 11 games back in the American League East and is 10 games back in the Wild Card race. Things aren’t looking so good for the Jays this year, but they’ve still got plenty of hotties to feast your eyes on.

Let’s start with their Hottie Hurlers on the mound…..

Roy Halladay, 11-4 with a 4.15 ERA.
Good ass too.

Bringing the Heat (because I Was There): San Diego Padres

I made my first trip down to glorious San Diego with some girlfriends over Memorial Day weekend. Nice place y’all got here. Imagine my pouting, though, when I was informed I had to spend Saturday night at something called a base-ball game.

I was digging in my heels and pouting something fierce, but I have to tell you, once I got a few pints in me and laid eyes on this fellow right here, all was forgiven:

Bringing the Heat: The Kansas City Royals

Oh, the poor Royals. They are lagging behind in what is arguably the best division in Major League Baseball. The Twins, Indians and Tigers are mired in a 3-team race for the division title and (probably) the Wild Card, while KC is just excited when a few thousand fans show up to a game. However, lack of a winning record does not mean a team is devoid of Hotties.

Ross Gload slides home. He has 15 HRs Runs and 24 RBIs on the year.

Edited to add:  a wonderful video I cannot believe I left out.

Better get your tux out of mothballs: The hotties of the Philadelphia Phillies

Together with their manager Charles Fuqua Manuel
The Philadelphia Phillies
cordially invite you to
A Party of Pants
on Saturday, the seventh of July
two thousand and seven
One Citizens Bank Way
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Meet your hosts and R.S.V.P. after the jump.

Bringing the Heat: Chicago White Sox

The folks of Chicago have it pretty good. We have the Cubs, and all the awesomeness of gameday at Wrigley Field. We have Sexy Rexy Grossman and his downfield throwing mechanics. We have the Bulls and the Blackhawks (for better or for worse). And since 2005, everyone happily claims the White Sox again.

But don’t dismiss the boys of the South Side as second-class citizens… because there are a TON of hotties to be found inside the Not-So-Friendly Confines of the Cell.

Jon and the rest of the Sox want YOU! to check them out

Peruse your way through all the South Side hotties after the jump…

Bringing the Heat: Houston Astros

Some teams are blessed with an overabundance of hotties (I’m looking at you, Oakland). Some teams are cursed with a complete absence of lookers (I’m talking to you, Anaheim).

And then there are the Astros.

The Houston Astros don’t have a ton of fug, they don’t have a ton of heat. They’ve just got a roster full of nice-looking chaps, guys who look like the type you’d take home to meet mom (and who’d remember to bring along some flowers for her). Plus one really, REALLY smoking hot dude.

So rather than post a bunch of bland pictures, I’m gonna post random pictures of all the cuties, doing random things, to keep it interesting. And then I’m gonna give you a whole mess of pictures of the hottie. Deal?

Take a gander at the Gulf Coast boys after the jump…

Bringing The Heat: San Francisco Giants

So what if the Giants is one of the oldest teams in baseball. That doesn’t mean that there are not hotties on the roster. Of course everyone on this list except for one hitter was born after 1975, which makes them younger than 30. But that doesn’t mean there are no hot 40 year olds.

Just not on this list. So to get things started, let’s just throw up the obvious first.

More Barry Zito and San Francisco hotness, after the jump.