Bringing the Heat (because I Was There): San Diego Padres

petco.jpg I made my first trip down to glorious San Diego with some girlfriends over Memorial Day weekend. Nice place y’all got here. Imagine my pouting, though, when I was informed I had to spend Saturday night at something called a base-ball game.

I was digging in my heels and pouting something fierce, but I have to tell you, once I got a few pints in me and laid eyes on this fellow right here, all was forgiven:


HelLO, Kevin Kouzmanoff. Kome here often? (Sorry.)

This was right about the time I started hearing stories about these Giles brothers. Now, I know some girls dig a man who can hammer nails with his chin, but I personally find Brian to be a leeetle too cartoon-superhero looking for my tastes:


Marcus, though? Stole a base right in front of me, just to show off. New baseball boyfriend! Call me!


(I’m informed that’s the wrong uniform. Let’s try this:)


My underoos were on fire, but not for the last time that night. It got dark all of a sudden in the stadium, and the first chords of “Hell’s Bells” rang out in the night.


I find that I am utterly unable to resist a closer. Trevor Hoffman’s no Papelbon (who is? NO ONE), but he’s got a stare that could melt lead.


(NB: This is not that stare, but how could I not use this shot?)

petco_fireworks.jpgAfter the game (I’m pretty sure “we” won–after they played the Hamster Dance in the bottom of the 5th I just drank to dull the pain and started cheering indiscriminately for every hit), they flipped off all the lights and treated us to a holiday fireworks show. This was actually a much more terrifying spectacle than you would think.

Oh, and this was the ballgirl, and believe me, this is a very flattering picture. Sweetie, if you can’t throw to save your life (and it would appear that you cannot), can you at least try not to be so surly?


17 thoughts on “Bringing the Heat (because I Was There): San Diego Padres

  1. Kevin Kouzmanoff with the clefted chin for the win. Dig it.

    & first person to deride that as “booty chin” gets a knuckle-sandwich!

  2. Hoffman is YUMMY. Flat-out yummy.

    But my favorite is still hottie Jake Peavy. Or, as I like to pester the other Ladies… with, “PEAVYPEAVYPEAVYPEAVY”.

    Other hotties:
    Chris Young
    Michael Barrett
    Justin Germano (why did the Phils let this hottie go?!?)
    Russell Branyan
    Cla Meredith (former Sea Dog- yay!)
    Mike Cameron
    and my darling Greg Maddux, who will always be hot because he is FUCKING GREG MADDUX.

  3. you lost me after “but I have to tell you, once I got a few pints in
    me and laid”

    Images of me and Holly getting it on. To sexy for words.

  4. and my darling Greg Maddux, who will always be hot because he is FUCKING GREG MADDUX

    I’m 47, so I’m sure that The Youth Of Today, when they’re not on my lawn, don’t say “Word” to mean “That’s so true” any more, but fark it.


  5. Greg Maddux is fucking Greg Maddux?

    How did he open a hole in the space-time continuum to be able to do that?

    (Image of Max Weinberg in flagrante delicto on Late Nite with Conan O’Brien now stuck in my head, as well. Thanks a lot.)

  6. I knew someone was going to go for the cheap joke of turning the adjective into a verb… I just never thought it would be you, Stu.

    And as a matter of fact, I could totally believe Greg could travel through space and time if he damned well pleased. He is FUCKING GREG MADDUX.

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