As some of you may know, the USA beat Puerto Rico last night in the World Baseball Classic and it was kinda a big deal. So to honor the big win, we thought, why not feature our favorite Team USA hotties? (Sorry, Bee!)
If I had a nickel for every time I wanted to do Royals General Manager Dayton Moore’s job, I’d have…a shitload of nickels. I’d love to think GMDM totally reads all the Royals blogs out there, and considers our suggestions. That’s proooobably not the case at all, but just in case: Hey GMDM, call up Lenny DiNardo! He could help your bullpen! And he’s a lefty!
Oh, and…he looks like this:
Well, it’s all over, including the shouting. Voting in the Final Vote contest has ended and the results have been tabulated. This year’s All Stars, after days of furious campaigning (more on that later) are Philadelphia center fielder Shane Victorino (and his million kilowatt smile) and Detroit Third Baseman Brandon Inge. (This lady is convinced that Inge is actually thirteen years old and potentially ineligible to work, much less in the Majors, but that is neither here nor there.)
Victorino finished with the greatest amount of votes for any single player in the history of the Final Vote campaign with 15.6 million. (The previous record holder was Evan Longoria with nine million. Once again, the Phillies roll to victory over the Rays. Suck it, Tampa.)
So I know we all get excited when baseball season is underway. We love watching our hotties play and our teams do well. For me, when my beloved Orioles start to suck again, it can be hard to devote my time to following the team. That is why I have come to love the mid-season call-up. Trust me, I know who the hotties are on the team, but I’m curious about those boys in the minors. I know names and who is supposed to be good, but I don’t necessarily know their faces. So I always look forward to a new face in the clubhouse.
After the jump, I’ve hand selected some drool-worthy hotties. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
For my first post I wanted to show some hometown love. Sadly, I think the pickin’s are pretty slim, but I’ve decided to work with what I’ve got.
In honor of Ryan Braun’s stellar week – and because nothing’s hotter than breaking a slump, proving you’re not injured and leading your team on a winning road trip and a four-game win streak…
.927 slugging percentage
.565 batting average
…it seemed an apt time to honor the forearms of doom:
It’s not mud wrestling or a pillow fight, but the Ladies… are riled up about tonight’s Home Run Derby. We’ve made our picks, and the winner will get to do something…mysterious and totally cool. (Also known as, we haven’t figured out what we want to do yet.)
Evan Longoria: Chitown Chick
Josh Hamilton: Metschick
Ryan Braun: Misstress Christina
Lance Berkman: La M Alana
Justin Morneau: Lady Andrea and Cinnamon Girl
Dan Uggla: The Dame of Extra Time
Chase Utley: SA
Grady Sizemore: Miss Minda
We have reached the All-Star break and guess who are the best 3 teams in the National League? The Milwaukee Brewers, St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs. The NL Central rocks this year. Fear the Midwesterners! The Dutch girl picked us! Us! Not you! Holland loves the NL Central, thank you Amsterdam, good night!
I enjoy the All-Star break. Sure, it’s 3 days without real baseball, but I like the Home Run Derby and the All-Star Game. Should it decide home field advantage in the World Series? HELL NO (2004stillbitterfreakinRedSoxgrumblegrumbleharumphharumph). But I love how the players goof around with each other while cute little kids run around. Since Cinnamon Girl already delightfully highlighted the All Stars, I’d like to take this chance to highlight the Derby guys. The Home Run Derby airs tonight at 8/7 central on ESPN. Tune in for a Bugs & Cranks liveblog!
As you may know, the Ladies… spent Saturday and Sunday watching and blogging the NFL Draft. Strapping young men in suits about to be come millionaires? Yes, please!
Football powers, activate!
After the jump, a look at some of the best and brightest of the draft. Keep in mind that this list is nowhere near comprehensive, as there were many, many hot men who got new jobs this weekend. These are some of my favorites. Please feel free to share your favorites in the comments.
The WhatIf Sports Simulation has started over at Bugs & Cranks. Each guy drafted a team from the last 25 years of the team he covers for the site. I got to draft Hotties. As of this writing I’m 2-2, not a bad start. I thought I’d share with y’all my Team o’ Hotties. (These pics are not all from the year I have the player, sometimes you just have to go with a cute pic.)
’06 Alex Rios. Such a cutie pie!
First off, the Ladies would like to extend thoughts and prayers to one of our baseball finds this year, Jarrod Saltalamacchia of the Texas Rangers. He has told the Rangers he will not be available to play winter ball because his wife Ashley is already having complications with the pregnancy of their second child. We hope everything turns out just fine for the Saltalamacchias. [That Must Be a Heckuva Last Name to Consider When Naming Your Children]
The day is here! Cardinals Hotties!!! I don’t particularly want to talk about the ups and downs I’ve been going through since the end of July. And that is NOTHING compared to what they’ve been through. Death and injuries, including the fact that we still don’t know if Juan Encarnacion will ever be the same. For today, let’s just focus on hotties. Let’s start with one of my favorite pictures of the bunch. Not only do I love Albert Pujols and Yadier Molina, but they have this cute little handshake celebratory thing they do that I just lurve.
Three hotties, YAHTZEE!
So, this is today’s Hump Day Hottie. It’s a special one, brought to you by Lady Andrea. Texas Gal is
tied up in a closet taking a short vacation and she was brow-beaten into is letting me fill in for her. Today, feast your eyes on my newest baseball boyfriend: Rick Ankiel. If you don’t know the story by now, I’ll direct you here, so as to save space for more delicious pictures. Rick is off to a great start, hitting .318 with 3 home runs and 6 RBIs through 5 games. He also seems to have sparked a team that had been looking completely thrashed. Cubs and Brewers, we’re coming for you. Also: Ankiel is hot. I’ve decided Christian Bale will play him in the movie. Feel free to give other suggestions in the comments!
Congrats to John Maine and Jose Reyes for being named NL Pitcher and Player of the Month for April!
Maine is 4-0, his 1.35 ERA lead the Majors, has 30 Ks in 33.1 IP, and plenty of other sexy stats.
Reyes hit .356, stole 17 bases, and scored 26 runs (every single one giving me delicious points in Fantasy BB – thanks, Reyes!).
Photo property of Tidewater Sports
Sportswriters spilled gallons of ink during the off season about today’s Homer Hottie, Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard.
By now you know all the highlights: In little league, hit a homer over a Red Lobster in the outfield, won last year’s All-Star Game Home Run Derby, led the entire major league with 58 homers last season, only the second player after Cal Ripken Jr. (no slouch himself in the hotness department, in a silver fox kind of way) to win Rookie of the Year and Most Valuable player in consecutive seasons. So let’s just get right to the hotness, yeah?
THIS IS WHY I’M HOT
If only, Shanno, if only.
I should have known Opening Night of the Phillies’ 2007 season was going to be a soul-crusher before I even took my seat. While I was waiting for my friend Judy to arrive, I could hear the strains of Josh Groban crooning “You Raise Me Up” on the PA system outside Citizens Bank Park.
Not a good sign.
Along with the dubious choice of musical accompaniment, it was a damp, chilly 46 degree night, the first of the Phillies’ many College Night promotions, and the first Dollar Dog Night of the season. Combine those three factors with the Atlanta Braves, a team Phillies fans love to hate, and you have the recipe for an outrageous night of baseball.
¡Feliz Día de Independencia de Tejas! For those unlucky souls in the other 49 states (and beyond), March 2nd is the official state holiday celebrating the Republic of Texas’ independence- not from Britain (we were still speaking Spanish and/or French at the time), not from the evil Yankee North (that will come later), but from Mexico. Yes, Texas was its own nation for almost 10 years- and we still act like we are today. This was the fourth flag of six to fly over Texas (hence the Six Flags themepark chain name), and we fly all six flags over the capitol building, at sports stadiums, etc. We are a funny people.
Pssst – the answer: Texas (of course)
I am using this day and the history lesson above as my excuse for a special edition of Homer Hotties- because rather than pick one guy, I’m going to give you a rundown of ALL the hotties that play for the Texas Longhorns. Don’t mess with Texas, y’all.