Heckle this man

An odd item out of Clearwater in today’s Chester County Daily Local News:

As he walked off the field after six innings, [Cole] Hamels was greeted with a standing ovation from fans in the left field bleachers. A little over an hour earlier, the 24-year-old pitcher was being serenaded with a different kind of fan reaction.

“I had some great heckling in my bullpen, loved it,” said Hamels, who said both Rays and Phillies fans were yapping his way.

What are you trying to tell us, Colbert? That you like it when we say things like, “HEY HAMELS, NICE 12.60 ERA. AND YOU WANT ADAM EATON MONEY FOR THAT SHIT?!” and “DUDE, DID YOU GET YOUR HAIR HIGHLIGHTED IN THE OFF SEASON? WHAT THE HELL?!” and “I’VE SEEN YOUR WIFE’S COOTER!” OK, then. I’ll be sure to remember those gems for when I’m in Clearwater this weekend.

The annals of cool vegans: Pat Neshek

That’s one hot vegan.

I saw this tiny item at the bottom of Paul Hagen’s Baseball Notes today:

Twins reliever Pat Neshek was dominant early last season, but had a 4.83 earned run average in the second half. He thinks the fade might have been caused by an unhealthy lifetsyle, so he’s become a vegan.

I couldn’t believe what I was reading, so I went to Neesh’s blog and sure enough, it’s true! From the March 13 entry:

The last time I ate a whopper jr. was in 2004…the article never gave a date but people might have thought I ate those things last year…not the case. I didn’t go Vegan to do better on the field or improve my game, the article makes it sound like I was looking for answers and this is what I came up with, not the case. I feel like the article was suppose to be about me getting stronger and how I struggled late last season and in some odd way the vegan thing got tied in. … For the most part of the season last year I was vegetarian (didn’t tell anyone) if I had the choice and when we were on the road I really didn’t have a choice and ate what the clubby had or whatever restaurant was close…who cares. This really isn’t new to me its just another step that I’m trying out. I’m not telling anyone to go out and go vegan, I’m not here to say this is the best thing in the world, as is everything I do on here I’m telling my story and shedding light into the life of a ballplayer…

Aside from the defensive tack he takes, this is a really cool news item. How many major league pitchers are vegans? Pat, you have to come to Citizens Bank Park–PETA says we have the best vegetarian ballpark food!

If the shotputter wants his money y’all should give him his money

An article in today’s New York Times (sidebar: where Ladies BFFs and all around awesome dudes Enrico and Matt P of The 700 Level are holding down the fort this week at the Fifth Down blog) talks about the recruiting challenges faced by nonrevenue athletes and coaches.

It’s an enlightening read; the glamour sports, basketball and football, have changed the college sports recruiting landscape and now even nonrevenue athletes are approaching the process as aggressively a linebacker or a power forward would.

And now for something completely different: Hot shotputters.

NOM NOM NOM!

Um, I live 15 minutes from UDel. I think I need to start going to track and field events. You know, to see how UDel’s spending their scholarshop money.

Kicking ass, taking names 1986 style

Checking in with the Ladies’ Blue Jays in the Sporting News’ 1986: Take Two challenge, we find that despite a few recent struggles, the Ladies’ still remain first in the AL East with a record of 65-49. I also note with no little amusement that the Ladies are kicking the shit out of Curt Schilling’s Red Sox, who’re languishing in fourth with a record of 58-54.

Mitch Williams: He’s spicy

I’m running this item because a) Tuesdays are my day, b) Mitchy Poo had a sweet, sweet ass in the ’90s and c) that photo still makes me smile.

An article in today’s Philadelphia Inquirer details Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams’ involvement in a CYO basketball game.

Wild Thing thought his daughter’s basketball team was getting jobbed, and “[t]he former Phillies hurler cursed at a female referee who was calling a basketball game in which his daughter, a fifth-grader, was playing for St. Mary of the Lakes against Our Lady of Good Counsel.”

You stay classy, Mitch.

The One Where We Go On Vacation

As you’ve no doubt noticed, we’ve been doing this for a full year without a break. And without getting too “Mother’s Little Helper” about it, we need one. So the Ladies… are going on vacation. But fret not, we won’t be gone long.

We’ll be back tanned, refreshed, relaxed and ready to tackle the big sports events on the horizon: March Madness, the end of Spring Training, the NBA playoffs, and much more.

Wish you were here!

Photo by Flickr user Altus.

Rocking it out with Dwayne Johnson

A few weeks ago, the good people at Disney contacted us to tell us Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s movie The Game Plan was coming out on DVD today and did we want to do a little something about it?

In about five minutes, our afternoon email round robin took a decidedly “OMG THE ROCK!! SQUEEEEEEE!!” tone. So today and tomorrow, we’re grooming our eyebrows and sharpening our People’s elbows to bring you Rocky goodness in review, flashback and quiz form.

And you can win stuff! That’s right! We have real, honest to blog prizes to give away.

Smell what the Ladies… are cooking after the jump.

My country ’tis of thee, sweet land of Liberty (Bowl)

Of 10-3 I sing.

Hump Day Hottie Hit and Run: Pro Bowl Edition

There are a number of different ways I could go with today’s Hit and Run. I could talk about Danny Haren’s “Hi, I’m a D-back now” press conference,

or The Great One’s Phoenix Coyotes clowning my Flyers, or Shaun White being cited for setting off a fire extinguisher in a hotel while he was drunk (and really, who among us hasn’t done that?) or The Rocket vehmently denying the claims in the Mitchell report that he used The Steroids, but since the 2008 Pro Bowl rosters were announced yesterday, let’s take an in-depth look at the hotties who’ll be getting a free trip to Hawaii this February.

The five stages of Bacon Pants grief

The Ladies… count two Phillies homers among their ranks, so Texas Gal and I were hoping that our meaty, darling, grinder Aaron “Bacon Pants” Rowand would resign with the Phillies. His face-smashing entusiasm and team-first attitude were part of what made the Phillies so much fun to watch this season. Also, he wears his uniform pants really tight. We liked that.

2007 was a banner year for Bacon Pants, and with the cheapskates in the Phillies front office shying away from long-term contracts, Bacon Pants signed today with the San Francisco Giants. He’ll patrol the outfield for the next five years, taking home a cool $12 million per year.

The fans of the San Francisco Giants have to be happy — there’s somebody fun to watch out in the outfield again.

I, however, am taking this news a little harder. I am — if you will — a sad panda.

Friday Football Foodie: Cucumber-feta dip, PUDDING SHOTS! and the Dunkin’ Donuts Extreme Bacon Extravaganza

This week, TSW has a bye and I’m calling the plays on the Friday Football Foodie.

It might be heresy to some to include vegetable matter in their football food plans that a) doesn’t come on top of a pizza or b) doesn’t accompany a bratwurst, but I cannot have a party without putting out veggies and dip. Besides, you’re getting a jump on the “eat veggies and fruit for the rest of the week” edict that usually comes with the FFF.

Not to worry, though: There’s no cooking — just chopping and stirring — and the Drink of the Week doubles as dessert!

The Pacific Northwest Hotties of the Seattle Mariners

I’m sorry to be That Girl, but it’s true: There is a dearth of hotties on the Seattle Mariners’ roster, which is too bad because Seattle is such a beautiful city. Observe:

That mountain is like, 70 miles away, too. (Photo by Daniel Arndt. Thanks, dude!)

You’d think the scenery at Safeco Field would be better (I mean, they have art from Seattle-area artists all over the place — so cool!) but aside from Ichiro, who’s cute in his wacky cryptic way, rounding up a bunch of Mariner studs from Seattle was, well, difficult.

More…intensity!

EDITED!  To include Grampy Jamie Moyer goodness!

Hit and Run: LOUD NOISES!

JIM THOME IS NAUGHT BUT A HOPELESS ROMANTIC

THOOOOOOOOME! Pictured here smooching his wife Andrea (note: not our Andrea), Ol’ Hambone Thome hit No. 500 yesterday, and did it in grand fashion: a two-run walkoff jack, and on Jim Thome bobblehead day. The fellow who caught the milestone ball gave it right back to Jim, and Thome announced after the game that he and his father would deliver it to Cooperstown together.

Excuse me, but it’s gotten dusty in my office all of a sudden. [Sniffle.]

Hit and Run: A change was made uptown/And the big man joined the band

Today’s Hit and Run is all about the big dudes, so stock your fridge and don’t be surprised when you find canoe-sized shoes at the foot of your bed.

Ry Ho and Shane share a tender moment.

Let’s start with Ryan Howard’s walk-off two-run opposite field blast to lift the Fightins over the Mets 4-2. (Yes, I know Metsy started with a Phillies item yesterday, but it’s my Hit and Run, I’ll do what I want!) I was there for last night’s game and to say the mood in the CBP was euphoric would be an understatement of the highest degree. I high-fived people I’d never met and I heckled a group of kid Mets fans. It was fabulous.

Before the game, I hung over the bullpen railing and watched Tom Glavine warm up. (I refuse to hear you say I’m a turncoat. How many times in your life do you get to watch a 300-game winner warm up from 15 yards away?) Dude is INTENSE. From where I was sitting, it looked like he p4wned the Phillies over seven strong innings, but according to the NYT’s article about the game, he was gassed: “Glavine scattered eight singles in seven scoreless innings but had thrown 102 stressful pitches, he said, and could not go out to start the eighth.”

Hottie Vision: ONE MORE DAY!

Only one more day before Chutley makes his long-awaited return to the big club! My friend Sue and I will be at tomorrow’s game, and I have a feeling the atmosphere at the CBP will be like Christmas, the Fourth of July and the last time everyone in attendance got laid all rolled into one.

To whet your appetite for tomorrow, here’s an itty-bitty Chase Utley in his Scranton Red Barons days yukking it up with Freddie Mitchell, his teammate from UCLA. The Pop-Up Video aspect of the clip is great, along with the cameos from Marlon Byrd and Brett Myers, to say nothing of FredEx’s guns.

Hit and Run: And I’ve got issues (yeah)/Like I miss you (yeah)

Yesterday was a pretty lousy day in the sports world — lots of pining for things gone missing — so let’s make this quick.

Kevin Garnett breaks the hearts of T-Wolves fans and becomes a Celtic.

BOTH Phillies right fielders Shane Victorino and Michael Bourn were placed on the DL yesterday. Texas Gal and I will miss their speed on the basepaths.

Sad news out of Phoenix: A police report states that drugs, drug paraphernalia and a loaded handgun were found in Rod Beck’s home on the day he died. Very unfortunate indeed.

Rawlings dumps their sponsorship of the beleaguered Michael Vick. He’ll miss the scrilla.

I leave you with some cute sleeping puppies in order to get the crappy taste out of your mouth.

Hit and Run: I get misty

After countless stories about naughty QBs, naughty refs and naughty baseball players who don’t sign enough autographs, it’s high time for a few happy stories from the sports world, don’t you think?

Let’s start with the cherubic Jon Lester, who won his first start after an abrupt departure from baseball last summer, when he was diagnosed with cancer. I’m no great Red Sox fan (please don’t hurt me, J-Money) but I admit I teared up when everyone in the Red Sox dugout went over to hug and congratulate him after he finished six strong innings, allowing two runs, three walks, and six Ks. I AM NOT MADE OF STONE, PEOPLE.

The Houston Texans’ Ahman Green is a stand-up guy: This week, he made good on a promise to put down the down payment on a home for a single parent in exchange for his jersey number from teammate Jason Simmons. The best part about the story is that the recipient of the down payment, Regina Foster, doesn’t know anything about football, and isn’t a fan of the Texans.

Finally, here’s a cute story from the NASCAR world: Brent Sherman took six years off of racing to serve in the Air Force. Now he’s trying to get back in the driver’s seat in the Busch series. (Please forgive that terrible pun.)

Hottie Hit and Run: We’re in the money

Hello errbody! Clare here, pinch hitting for TSW on Hit and Run duties.

Mad scrilla yo!

He’s got a lot of what it takes to get along: At 7:25 this morning, psychologist Jerry Yang was crowned braceleted the champion of the 2007 World Series of Poker at the Rio in Las Vegas. He took home the coveted Corum WSOP bracelet and $8.25 million. Not a bad ROI on a $225 satellite tournament buy-in. My dad, The Starter Wife, and just about everyone else in the world knows more about poker than I do, so I’ll let some commentators better versed than me in Bullets, Big Slick, and Dolly Parton tell you what Yang’s victory means for the “sport.”

Not to be outdone, my dad (you might remember him from Father’s Day) cashed in a World Series event this year: He came in 124th at the senior event and won $1300. I’m quite certain that my “good luck today, hope you beat all the other oldsters” text message I sent him the morning the tournament started was what did the trick.

But wait! There’s more!

Better get your tux out of mothballs: The hotties of the Philadelphia Phillies

Together with their manager Charles Fuqua Manuel
The Philadelphia Phillies
cordially invite you to
A Party of Pants
on Saturday, the seventh of July
two thousand and seven
One Citizens Bank Way
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Meet your hosts and R.S.V.P. after the jump.

Golden Grain Goodness: Hotties of the Milwaukee Brewers

In these steamy, sweltering days of summer, what’s better on a hot day than some baseball and a Brew(er)?

After the jump, a 19-pack of Brewer tallboys.

Father’s Day Aftershave – Clare’s top seven sports memories of her dad

1.  Earliest sports memory of my dad:  Playing wiffle ball at the shore, using the house next door to ours as a backstop.

2.  Watching the ninth inning of Game 6 of the 1993 NLCS and running out to the car to honk the horn when Mitch Williams made the final out.

Blogger Invitational Tournament Championship of Hotness

Despite the very clear directions we laid out for them (ONE PHOTO! ONE LINK!) some of the guys who wanted to be included in the bracket just couldn’t get it right. So we didn’t include them. Ha!

But the weisenheimers who mentioned a hot blogger invitational did give us a good idea for what to do with these fellas. We are nothing if not fickle Ladies, and since the pool of bloggers continues to dwindle, here are three more blogger hotties for your perusal.

Welcome…to The BITCH.

Two Homers Discuss…: Phillies at Mets, 6/7/07

As you’ve probably guessed by now, Ladies… Texas Gal and Clare are quite the Phillies Phans. Unfortunately, they’re separated by 750 miles and a change of time zones. How do they remedy this problem? For what we hope will be the first in a series of Two Homers Discuss… pieces, they fire up their IM programs of choice, chat away and save the results FOR YR LOLZ AND ENJOYMENTZ.

Texas Gal: I’M TIRED OF THESE MOTHER HUBBARD METS IN THIS MOTHER HUBBARD DIVISION
Clare: HI TEX IT’S CL
Clare: CLARE
Texas Gal: WHY DON’T THEY GROW THE FUDGE UP
Texas Gal: PARDON MY FRENCH
Clare: /CHORTLE
Texas Gal: THIS IS WH
Texas Gal: THIS IS WH
Texas Gal: THIS IS WHY I’M HOT

Stuff your ballot box early and often

Since the first returns are in on the 2007 MLB All-Star Game voting, we thought we’d take a look at how well some of our hotties are doing in the balloting, and who could use a bit of the Ladies’ help.

Furrow that B&T brow, D-Wright.

Metschick’s boys are leading the races at shortstop, third base, catcher and in the outfield in the NL voting. Jose Reyes has a commanding lead at shortstop over J.J. Hardy. At third, pretty boy David Wright has more than 100,000 more votes than his closest competition, Larry Wayne Jones Jr. (I refuse to call him Chipper. Chipper was cute when you were 12, but now you’re a grown up, LARRY.) Scotty Ro-Ro needs to pick up the pace if he wants to make it to San Fransisco this July — he’s languishing in fourth.

Mother’s Day Potpourri – Clare’s Mom Hearts: Dan Marino

My mom has never been much of a sports fan. Sports are my father’s domain. She likes the New Orleans Saints for aesthetic reasons (she loves fleur-de-lis), she tolerates the Eagles because they’re only on once a week, and she grinds her teeth when pitchers throw to first to hold a runner on base.

But then there’s Dan Marino.

Hottie Hit and Run: I’m just a boy with a new haircut/And that’s a pretty nice haircut

The B&T eyebrows aren’t quite so noticeable now

Which is the bigger story: Barry Bonds hits No. 745 off Tom Glavine, Glavine still gets win No. 294 in the books, or pretty much everyone on the Mets’ 25-man roster shaves their heads before BP? (Big smooches to Metschick for the tip.) [How will Shaun Green keep his yarmulke on now?]

Vintage hottie alert: Doug Flutie, Ahmad Rashad and Reggie Williams are among this year’s inductees to the College Football Hall of Fame. Joe Paterno (not a hottie) will also receive his induction this year, after skipping last year’s ceremony because of his broken leg. [I predict a run on Flutie Flakes]

Going halfsies

In a brilliant marketing ploy that ranks up there with Dollar Dog night, the Terrible Towel, and everybody’s favorite, the bobblehead promotion, two titans of the tennis world met in Spain yesterday for a gimmick match for the ages.

Dreamy Roger Federer, a four-time winner at Wimbledon is a specialist on grass courts, and his frequently manpris-clad opponent, two-time French Open winner Rafael Nadal, is frequently referred to as the “King of Clay.” They agreed to play an exhibition match on a specially constructed half clay-half grass courtto decide once and for all who is cuter better dressed on the court a better all-around tennis player.

Nadal won in 7-5, 4-6, 7-6 sets. I don’t really know what that means, but I think it was close.

Half and half court weirdness

Hottie Hit and Run: Om shanti, shanti shanti, shanti om

Today, I’m pinch hitting for TheStarterWife on Hit and Run duties. I know I cannot possibly be as cute as him, but I hope I’m as good at pinch hitting as Phillies bench hottie Greg Dobbs is.

Chase Utley’s been taking lessons from Tony LaRussa.

When you’re so amped up your pitching coach has to come to the mound in the second inning to ask you if you’re “on something,” you know you’ve got to dial it back. I don’t know what Ladies… favorite Cole Hamels did to get his head right after getting dinged for three runs in the first inning of last night’s game against the Atlanta Braves — chamomile tea, a little yoga, some Enya in the dugout? Whatever it was, it worked. Phils come out on top, 6 to 4. [Om mani padme om]

Dallas ekes out a W over the Golden State Warriors. Perhaps it was Avery Johnson’s tongue-lashing of Dirk Nowitzki (not like that, you pervs) that snapped him out of his funk? [Mark Cuban’s playoff beard gets a few more grays]

Homer Hottie: Ryan Howard

Sportswriters spilled gallons of ink during the off season about today’s Homer Hottie, Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard.

By now you know all the highlights: In little league, hit a homer over a Red Lobster in the outfield, won last year’s All-Star Game Home Run Derby, led the entire major league with 58 homers last season, only the second player after Cal Ripken Jr. (no slouch himself in the hotness department, in a silver fox kind of way) to win Rookie of the Year and Most Valuable player in consecutive seasons. So let’s just get right to the hotness, yeah?

31 lirpa, Setarip ta Stnaig: Ereht Saw I

Where the hell did this tattoo come from?

Where am I? Why am I awake at 5:30 in the morning on a Saturday? Why do I smell like an ashtray?

There’s a cat nuzzling my face and licking my forehead. That’s strange: I don’t think I own a cat.

Where is the bathroom? I AM GOING TO BE SICK.