Your wait is over.

The rotation that will haunt our dreams. (AP Photo)

High socks. Eye black. Dusty mounds. Cliff Lee. Baseball is back for reals, and we at Ladies… couldn’t be happier. Many of us have spent the last few days figuring out how to weasel out of whatever we’re going to be up to at the time our respective favorite teams are playing. Me? TWO HOUR MEETING when Mike Mussina throws the ceremonial first pitch at Yankee Stadium. How am I supposed to sneak my phone in to listen to the game? ARGH! (although Games Mistress told me there was lots of rain expected in New York Thursday, so I may get my wish after all.)

It’s Opening Day for these Ladies… faves. Let’s see what they’re up to today:

Hit and Run: With Spring in our Step

Here's Marquette, whose victory over Syracuse last night made me cry. (Photo: Getty Images)

It’s Monday. How are your brackets looking? Like hell? Thought so.

First of all, a warm welcome to our special guest Ladies… Bracket Brawl participants: Melissa_thistle, Courknee35, Big10Bias and fellow Canuck/friend of the blog Andrew Bucholtz (you will go read his blog The 55-Yard Line now, won’t you?) Our current leader isn’t in our Ladies… group – due to technical difficulties, we had to create another group on ESPN.com so one gal could get her picks in. That gal is Buffalita, leading the pack with 460 points and picking Ohio State to win it all. CuteSports and Raven round out the Top 3 at 440 and 430 points respectively. Any hopes I had of repeating last year’s surprise success have been flushed down the proverbial toilet. I blame Butler.

Best of luck heading into Thursday! Sweet Sixteen will be hopefully be sweet for some of you.

So what else is going on?

Ladies and Gentlemen…

…Roy Halladay. Do I even need to say anything else?

HI EVERYONE ROY HALLADAY THREW A NO HITTER IN HIS FIRST POSTSEASON APPEARANCE AND I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO USE PUNCTUATION

PS IT WAS ONLY THE SECOND ONE IN A LITTLE THING WE LIKE TO CALL HISTORY

PS NUMBAH TWO: OH AND HE THREW A PERFECT GAME THIS YEAR ALREADY.

For real, I kind of think my husband would be okay if I left him for Roy. Actually, I kind of think he might leave me for Roy. I’m not sure I blame him.

I have to do this eventually, I might as well do it now.

Well.

It was supposed to be the Yankees.

It wasn’t.

I’m going to miss you, you know. I’m going to miss that little sliver of hope that the rest of the team would play as well as they’d need to in order to deserve you, and I’m going to miss having someone to believe in every fifth day (or really, every day), and I’m going to miss everything about the way you affected the team and the city and the fans. Hell, I’m not just ‘going to’, I already do.

I’m not saying the Jays have nothing to play for anymore – just that it’s going to feel that way for a while.

So I’ll see you around, I guess.

I don’t know when I’ll be ready to say goodbye.

Advent Calendar of Hotness – Day 2

Me? Hilariously predictable? Well, I never.

He’s one of exactly one people who can be hot while wearing those extra sleeve-under-the-sleeve things.

Lucky 1,300

This is officially the 1,300th post on our fine site and we decided to celebrate with a list of 13 very special hotties. Since we realized it was the 1,300th post pretty late, not every one of the Ladies… was able to join in the fun, but we picked a few individual hotties, plus some “all-time” hotties.

Follow the jump for the pictures!

MLB Hotties on the Move

No, no! He's not going anywhere!

Somewhere, in a vast wilderness where cell phones signals go to die and there is no SportsCenter, Crane is feeling a psychic wave of untold joy and relief. That’s because the trade deadline has passed and Roy Halladay stayed in Toronto. Hey, Riccardi, thanks for playing with the heads of Jays’ fans these last few weeks! There’s a special place in hell for GMs like you – right beside John Ferguson Jr.

It’s been a busy few days. Let’s put all the nonsense of PEDs and Papi behind us and concentrate on the actual game of baseball baseball transactions. If your fave player left on a jet plane today for another team and you don’t know when he’ll be back again (hint: check the team schedule), I’m sorry to hear that. On the other hand, if your team has been injected with newfound playoff hope, congratulations! Hope that works out for you guys! Unless you like the Red Sox, and then…you know how I feel.

Foodie Friday: Blue-Jay-Berry Cobbler

Roy ponders the idea of enjoying a delicious serving of cobbler just as soon as he finishes pitching another complete game.

I realize this edition of Foodie Friday doesn’t exactly scream “Food for Boozy Sports Gathering”. But if you need something to bring to a girlfriends’ potluck, a family reunion picnic, or damnit you just want comfort food, this cake-y dessert fits the bill nicely. Besides, wild blueberry season is approaching (at least in my neck of the woods) I usually buy a 5 lb. box and spend the better part of six months making this, or muffins, or pancakes. If you want, I’ll dig out those recipes another day (good for football brunch!) For now, enjoy a recipe inspired by the hapless Jays after the jump.

The Awesomosity of Roy Halladay, Part Trois

In which I am not any more repetitive than I need to be, when I say,

ROY HALLADAY IS THE BEST PITCHER IN BASEBALL

ROY HALLADAY IS THE BEST PITCHER IN BASEBALL

ROY HALLADAY IS THE BEST PITCHER IN BASEBALL.

9 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 7 K, 0 BB, 105-78 pitches-strikes.

He’s averaging 3.95 batters faced per inning.

Ricciardi, if you trade him, I will seriously consider getting my passport renewed so I can personally come up to Toronto and kick your ass. (Theoretically.) I mean, it’s just like, have you heard your fanbase, at all? And plus, read this. Like, just read it. You don’t need to go and make good people worried about stuff, do you?

Jerk.

Anyway, in the event of any further anger, y’all should go here and type in “JP Ricciardi” (or the name of whichever GM has wronged you recently) and just keep on clicking “Generate another Rumour” until you’re too busy laughing to bother remembering that your fist may have a date with a pillow on which you’ve taped a crude drawing of their face.

Also, look how well they’ve been doing without Vernon Wells! Looks like he doesn’t feel so Wells, eh? Oh damn I am funny. (/defense mechanism’d)

Good morning. This has turned into a rant. I’m going away now.

In Which I Have Something To Say About Stephen Strasburg

Good morning. Stephen Strasburg’s mechanics suck and he’s going to get hurt.

Definitely hyperabducts, and definitely has a timing problem. Hey, at least he wears his socks the right way. Seriously, though, observe the difference between that photo, and a photo of someone with good mechanics:

Straight line from elbow to elbow, leading foot positioned to land much more square to the place, and the ball held above the shoulder right before footstrike. Yeah, that’s what I call flawless.

So hey, Strasburg? You have a lot to learn, buddy. I mean a lot. Good luck.

The Awesomosity of Roy Halladay, Part Deux

Good morning. I think my Los Angeles time zone just kicked your ass. And hey, you can stop making fun of my headline now, because I do actually speak French.

You can also stop making fun of it because you’re going to be too in awe of what inspired it to form coherent sentences. Strap your jaw closed so you don’t drool on your keyboard, and read on past this almost totally unrelated photo of Brett Cecil.

Because I think he's unbelievably pretty and I get a lot of angry comments about not having enough hot photos. Also, I mostly like his mechanics, even though they're awfully quirky.

9 IP, 7 H, 1 BB, 14 SO, .378 WPA, 88-133 pitches-strikes. Observe.

*whimpers, flails about helplessly*

That is all.

Hit and Run: In Which Barry Zito’s BABIP Regresses, Right Before Our Eyes!

A.k.a. the “Complete MLB Rundown (To The Exclusion Of Everything Else)” edition. Why? Because I can. Yesterday’s scores presented BBC-style for extra hilarity and confusion.

• Red Sox 3 – 5 Blue Jays. Sevven sollid innings from Tallet (see what I did there?) provide a lead for Scott Downs to preserve, bringing them back into 2nd place in the mighty AL East. Go Jays!
• Marlins 7 – 3 Mets. Tim Redding sucks. Josh Johnson doesn’t. Go Fish!
• Braves 2 – 3 Diamondbacks. There are a lot of 3s today. Eric Byrnes finally does something good; namely, driving in the winning run in the 11th. No, wearing awesome socks doesn’t automatically mean that you’ve done something good.
• Dodgers 0 – 7 Cubs. Eric Stults fails as Dodgers get shut out for the first time all year. You know, I like the guy, but hey dude, put up or shut up. As in, put up zeros on the scoreboard, or shut the hell up when the reporters interview you and ask why you sucked. Go ahead, say, “I sucked”. David Ortiz did, you can too! Ugh. STULTS. My boy Brent Leach faces 1 batter, records 2 groundouts, because he’s cool like that. Go Dodgers.
• Twins 2 – 5 Rays. David Price blah blah blah 11 strikeouts blah blah blah 1st Major League win blah blah blah Free Rick Porcello!
• Reds 5 – 9 Brewers. Some dudes hit some home runs.
• Tigers 6 – 3 Orioles. Is Luke Scott on steroids? Naw, he’s just in an un-slump.
• Astros 4 – 7 Pirates. Hey guys, the Pirates just won another game. Meanwhile, the Astros lost another one and are hopelessly out of contention. Kind of like the Nationals.
• Yankees 10 – 5 Indians. Your first double-digit scoring game of the night was notable only for the fact that CC Sabathia gave up runs. I really hate that guy. Oh, and Nick Swisher (perhaps better known simply as AJ Burnett’s new boyfriend) hit a home run. I’m sure they celebrated in an entirely appropriate fashion that didn’t involve ice cream or maple syrup or leather and chains. No, I didn’t just imply that.
• Nationals 6 – 9 Phillies. Cole Hamels gets shelled but gets the win anyway. Disgusting. Lidge doesn’t implode, but his ERA is still above 8. Good luck with that, buddy.
• White Sox 5 – 3 Royals. Gil Meche gets no love from the bullpen. Which sucks.
• Athletics 1 – 14 Rangers. The average Leverage Index for this game was so low that it actually may have caused a Fangraphs implosion. Seriously, check it out:

• Padres 7 – 8 Rockies. This game is actually so boring that there’s no proof it happened, so I can’t tell you what happened, although I’m sure if you really want to know you can look it up somewhere.
• Mariners 4 – 3 Angels. If you’re a Mariners fan, then Jose Lopez is your saviour. On the other hand, if you’re a Mariners fan, then you probably have bigger problems, including the fact that your #5 starter is actually a vampire. That’s my clever way of saying that I sort of have a crush on Jason Vargas.
• Cardinals 6 – 2 Giants. Zito was doing fine until he gave up 3 consecutive doubles in the 7th. Actually, on a team that didn’t epitomize suckitude, he would’ve had an easy shot at winning this game, except that 1) Albert Pujols is on steroids and 2) The Giants suck, ergo, their bullpen sucks, ergo, their starters don’t win unless they pitch complete game shutouts. Except for that one time, but I’m pretty sure that was an accident. Oh, and Albert Pujols did do something good; namely, he struck out looking on a curveball from Zito that came thisclose to making me scream in delight. (I did actually sort of whimper, but the sexual power of a pitch like that is a discussion for another time. Just watch any Roy Halladay start, or a good AJ Burnett start. You’ll understand.)

Good morning. I know in darkness I will find you giving up inside like me.

Crane’s All-Star Picks: American League

Good morning. Please bear with me as I present you with my ESPN-implosion-inducing All-Star team.

1B (a.k.a Base the First, because I’m feeling medieval tonight): Justin Morneau (MIN). I dislike Mark Teixeira. I dislike Kevin Youkilis. I don’t care about Miguel Cabrera. Justin Morneau is both 1) Canadian, and 2) Totally hot.

Hit the jump for more.

In 50 words: Sunday stuff

After this paragraph, I’ve got just 50 words to fill you in on the big sports stories from Sunday. For the record, I’ll count a game’s score as one word (so “2-1″ is one word). Since there are lots of photos, I made them small, but you can click each photo to see the full-size version. Here we go!
Throat slashed, Wings win.

In Which We Celebrate the Awesomosity of Roy Halladay

Good morning.

I was going to write a post about Barry Zito.

Then, this happened.

Nothing too unusual for Doc, who breezed through 9 innings on 103 pitches, giving up 5 hits and 1 run without walking a batter. He faced 30 hitters — 3 more than the minimum — and 72 of his pitches were in the strike zone, in sharp contrast to the MLB-average 60-ish percent of pitches thrown for strikes. In case you’re wondering, he throws an average of 67% strikes, an advantage of being a contact pitcher who stays down in the strike zone rather than a power pitcher who simply tries to blow the hitters away.

You, over there, reading this post. Are you looking for your stoicism? Well that’s too bad, because Roy Halladay took it and it’s unlikely you’ll get it back.