It’s the week after Thanksgiving. Which means it’s time to start thinking about Christmas presents, the radio stations have all started playing Christmas music and it’s time again for the annual castrating of the Big Ten men’s basketball teams by the juggarnaut that is the ACC.
Last night, #1 UNC beat #13 Michigan State by 35. THIRTY FIVE! A game between two top-15 ranked teams should not be that much of a beatdown. AND they were AT Michigan State.
Wake Forest took it to Indiana to the tune of 25. Maryland also beat Michigan.
I love Tony Romo. Last year in the Ladies… Fantasy Football league we drafted our starting quarterbacks on the basis of hotness and I drafted Romo. I find him charming and adorable and sexy. The night of the season opener, he stopped on his way home to help change the tire of a couple by the side of the road. And now yesterday he paid for a Dallas homeless man to get into a movie and then invited him to sit with Romo and his friend. LOVE. HIM. If only he would get rid of that no-talent dumbass who follows him around in her pink jersey and stilettos.
Brady Quinn had his starting NFL debut tonight. He threw for 240 yards and 2 touchdowns. It’s a shame Jay Cutler had to go and throw for 400+ yards, but I don’t care. I thought Brady looked good out there and I hope to see him start from here on out for the Browns.
The Iowa Hawkeye football season is not off to a great start. We lost to Pittsburgh, Michigan State and Northwestern (NORTHWESTERN, for pete’s sake!). However, our star running back Shonn Greene has been RACKING up the amazing statistics. This season of college football has been lacking a group of stand-out contenders for Heisman, so I’d like to offer up Shonn Greene for consideration.
There are 4 running backs who have over 1000 yards already: Oklahoma State’s Kendall Hunter at 1116, Iowa’s Shonn Greene at 1154, UConn’s Donald Brown at 1324, and Michigan State’s Javon Ringer at 1373. Now interestingly, Hunter, Greene and Brown have done that in 8 games. Ringer has had 9 games because MSU hasn’t had their bye week yet.
We’re into the Ladies… top 4 perfect 10s and we’ve got some bona fide hotties today.
Fernando Torres – He is so stinking pretty. He recently cut his hair, which is clearly news because his hair is one of his best features. I would also count his freckles, his thighs, his abs and his smile among my other faves. He’s currently injured and has to sit out for another few weeks due to a hamstring injury. (Nando, if you need someone to massage the afflicted area, PLEASE feel free to give me a call…) Some people can’t get on board the Nando-train because of his adorable baby-face. Something about looking too young… well I don’t mind them a little young, and the fact that he’s actually older than me (he’ll be 25 in March) should help to quell some of those pedophile fears.
We hope you’re enjoying our countdown. We’re only halfway done! There are so many hotties yet to come, ladies. Here we go with the sixes! Woot woot.
I'd walk down his street. Or something.
Huston Street – You know that whole “a picture is worth a thousand words” saying? Well, I’m pretty sure all those words when talking about Street are “oh my God, so hot.” Not necessarily in that order mind you (it’s hard to speak coherently when looking at him), but those are the words.
The Ladies are coming upon their 1000th post as a blog. To commemorate the occasion, we are counting down 9 Ladies’ Top 11 Perfect 10s, culminating in one glorious post of a unanimous #1 overall pick. (Because 100 perfect 10s equal 1000… see what we did there?) Today I bring you the Ladies’ #11s…
Awww, what a cutie.
Games Mistress Darelle Revis – Darelle’s a rookie, but between his excellent defensive play and his hotness, he’s moving into the running for my all time favorite Jet defender. (Granted, given the Jet defenses of the recent past, this is not that hard.) Also, he looks really good in green — which just makes it sad that he’s had to wear drab blue and gold the last couple of games.
Sorry I took a week off, folks. I was moving to Chicago and getting settled and whatnot. But now I am HERE and I have another Smorgasbord a-coming your way! I’ll confess… it isn’t as good as last time because last time I went to two Cubs games in two days, but I’ll do my best for you.
I’m getting pretty freaking tired of the NL and AL Division Series. I want postseason baseball to be competitive, dammit. I also wanted a better showing from the NL Central. If the Brewers hadn’t managed to win on Saturday, the last victory by an NL Central team in the postseason would have been… Game 5 of the 2006 World Series. Snerk.
I think the Jesus candles in the middle are my favorite part.
One of my all-time favorite features over on Deadspin was the Mighty MJD’s Smorgasbord. It was always hysterically funny. In honor of the fella last week who asked me, completely straight-faced, if I “understood football” because I’m a girl, I thought I’d put together a Smorgasbord of my own, though mine encompasses the whole weekend and won’t be nearly as funny as MJD’s.
Thursday, 1:20 pm to 5:00 pm: a very exciting 12-inning Cubs/Brewers game, where our seats were close enough to the bullpen that I could’ve thrown my panties at Rich Harden, Neal Cotts or Jeff Samardzija. I chose not to, but I totally could have.
My second Cubs post in 6 hours. Whichever commenter got her panties all in a twist because of my hatred for the Cubs better be picking me out a basket of mini-muffins right now. Anyway…
I’m still in Chicago and am watching the Cubs game in the Wrigleyville Goose Island. (Just for the record, I am a meat-eater, but the Veggie Burger at Goose Island is PHENOMENAL. Anyway.) I can’t help but notice today that Ted Lilly has a good lil’ game going on. Shhh. We won’t talk about it here.
I’m in Chicago right now. My roommate from law school got married this past weekend and I’m sticking around for awhile to see friends. I spent yesterday watching football in a bar, but at 7:05 pm they put the Cubs game on. I was there with a bunch of Cubs fans.
Zambrano and Pujols
You all know what happened. Carlos Zambrano pitched a no-hitter. And I have to tell you… I was rooting for him. I don’t like the Cubs and I HATE Carlos Zambrano. However, I was notified during the 7th inning via text message that Carlos was pitching a no-no. We actually thought for awhile it might be a perfect game because we couldn’t remember him getting a walk, but he had given up one earlier in the night that we didn’t notice.
Since we’ve all been talking about our fantasy teams, I thought I’d take this opportunity to highlight a hottie from each of my teams. So I am here to show off my Top 5 Hotties of Fantasy Football. Because yes… I AM playing in five fantasy football leagues. Yeah.
We’re welcoming the NFL season by bringing back our weekly food post. This week, I’m going to kick things off by showing you how to make a Cheezy Football and a pitcher of Sparklers. Let’s start with the Sparklers, so that you can drink while you make your Cheezy Football.
You may have noticed our new banner. This is in honor of my winning the Home Run Derby Contest. Each Lady picked a guy to root for and I picked Justin Morneau. My prize was that after the Olympics were over, I got to pick my banner. As you can see, I’ve chosen Albert Pujols, Scott Rolen and Rick Ankiel. Of course, since we just dropped to 6.5 out of the Wild Card, my Banner Mojo might be a moot point, but here it is anyway. And in honor of my real sports crushes, I’ve polled some of my favorite writers to find out about their Man Crushes.
JEFF ROSENFIELD, Bugs & Cranks
For the record, my man-crush is Jacoby Ellsbury. He’s young (which I’m not), fast (ditto), multi-talented and good-looking. I guess two out of four ain’t bad!
This week’s Waxing Off topic at Deadspin was… disturbing. And gross. And demeaning to the women asked to write about it. If you didn’t read it, here’s the email sent to the women asked to contribute:
Michael Phelps Slash Fiction.
The inspiration for this comes from two sources. First, this post, which is pure nightmare fuel. Then there’s this, about how Phelps is being pursued by Lindsay Lohan (equally terrifying). We’d like to follow things to their logical conclusion, and figure that you guys would be the best to do that. Make it read like an excerpt from a steamy, filthy book. Put Michael Phelps in the situation of your choosing … male on male, male on female, Phelps on llama … the aristocrats! Nothing is too over-the-top or depraved; it’s slash fiction. Let ‘er rip. Keep to 250-350 words, if possible. And don’t forget the short graph at the end about yourself, where you can plug your site and/or projects if you wish.
There have recently been some questions regarding fantasy football. Now, this post is not going to be breaking down each position with rankings and whatnot. Thoselistscan befoundeverywhere. What I am here to do is to explain basically how the game is played and which sites I like the best for fantasy football.
Unlike Fantasy Baseball, which is frequently played in two different styles (rotisserie and head-to-head), Fantasy Football is largely played head-to-head. (At least, that’s been my experience.) What that means is that once you have your team, you will face off against somebody else’s team each week. Each team accumulates points based on how their players do in the real games and whichever team has more points gets a win. Then there are overall standings based on the win-loss records. So if in the first 5 weeks I beat Metschick, lost to SA, beat Minda, beat Chitown Chick and lost to Dame of Extra Time, I’d be 3-2 overall.
Last night, the US mens 4×100 Freestyle relay won gold by a fingertip, keeping alive Michael Phelps’ goal of winning a record 8 gold medals in one Olympic games. What you may not know is that the four-man team was mostly made up of guys who did not swim in the preliminaries. 4 “scrubs” swam the prelims (setting a new world record, broken by their own teammates a mere 15 hours later) and the one “scrub” with the fastest splits got to join the 3 big boys for the finals. I am tickled pink for Phelps and his teammates, but man does that suck for the 3 left-behinds. The finals team doesn’t get to compete if the prelims team doesn’t do well. So here is a post in their honor.
Nathan Adrian, 19 years old, 6’5, left the University of California to train for the Olympics
I’ve uncovered a heretofore unannounced blog by Notre Dame and Cleveland’s QB 1, the heartthrob himself, Mr. Brady Quinn:
What can I say? I think he's cute.
Golly, I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since I joined the NFL.The Browns are swell guys, especially Derek.We’re like total BFFs.I was so happy for him last year, what a great story!I mean, of course I really want to play.I gotta get out there and show everybody what I can do!Yeah!But I’m just thrilled for Dbear.Maybe this year we can find a way for us to share QBing duties.We already share so much, I’m sure it’d be awesome!
This was quite the thread on Deadspin last week. I’d like to respond. This post, however, does not speak for all Ladies… , it only speaks for me.
This weekend I went over to play no-limit Texas Hold ‘Em at a casino. I was the only female in the poker room and sat down at a full table, so there were 9 men and myself. Over the hours I played, the guys were teasing me mercilessly. One guy was teasing me about my Cardinals shirt (he’s a Cubs fan) and made many comments about how I don’t really know about sports. One guy kept teasing me about being good at poker “for a girl.” A couple guys kept teasing me in a fairly suggestive manner, like when I’d get up to get more Diet Coke they’d tell me I had a hole in the back of my jeans, but that they didn’t mind watching me walk away. Things like that.
The Ladies have very sadly had one of their crew take a hiatus (come back soon, Allie!), but that has also brought us a brand spankin’ new Lady. Please welcome Whitney! We are ecstatic to have her joining the crew here. Look for her first post later today. Here is a brief bio:
She is 28, born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma, but moved to New York for graduate school and then down to Brooklyn about five years ago. Just to say she still uses that degree she went in debt for, she writes some fiction and edits the web journal Pindeldyboz. She is a baseball fan in general and a St. Louis Cardinal fan in particular [ed.'s note: WOOT WOOT!], and also a University of Oklahoma alumna and fan of college basketball and football, and the NFL (she has adopted the Jets as her team, but has always HATED the Cowboys). Hockey and the NBA usually get some of my attention during the playoffs, but not so much the rest of the time. I do have a blog of my own, Tres Geek, which is at www.journalscape.com/tresgeek . It’s not the most regularly updated blog in the world, but I try to check in at least every few weeks, if not sooner.
I’m back with the MLB rankings. The Cardinals have faltered lately, but I’m still delighted at the strength of the NL Central this year. My division isn’t a joke this year! See if you can decipher my code to read the rankings. It’s like a puzzle. You can leave your guesses in the comments if you like.
1.Cordelia: Well, you’ll be okay here. If you hang with me and mine, you’ll be accepted in no time. Of course, we do have to test your coolness factor. You’re from L.A., so you can skip the written, but let’s see. Vamp nail polish?
2.Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid. Joey, Chandler: That’s nice. Ross: No, no, with him. I’m on this field, and they, they hike me the baby. I know I’ve gotta do something ’cause the Tampa Bay defense is comin’ right at me. Joey: Tampa Bay’s got a terrible team. Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I’m thinkin’ they can take us.
I went to my best friend’s wedding this weekend. During the 8-hour drive back, I started thinking about what were some of the Best Sporting Timeframes. With no further ado, here are my choices. Feel free to argue with me in the comments.
Best Sporting Day 1. The Super Bowl. You get together with your friends, eat good food, drink a lot, gamble on the game and laugh at the commercials. The game is secondary. And every once in awhile you get a year like this past one where the game lives up to the hype. Awesome.
2. Opening Day. Baseball begins. The smell of spring, the crack of the bat, the sun shining on a beautiful April day. Perfection.
3. January 1st. Hangover from the night before, wall-to-wall college football, in games that usually feature good teams, and generally good food and more alcohol when you’re recovered (or maybe you’re lucky enough to wake up drunk).
We have reached the All-Star break and guess who are the best 3 teams in the National League? The Milwaukee Brewers, St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs. The NL Central rocks this year. Fear the Midwesterners! The Dutch girl picked us! Us! Not you! Holland loves the NL Central, thank you Amsterdam, good night!
I enjoy the All-Star break. Sure, it’s 3 days without real baseball, but I like the Home Run Derby and the All-Star Game. Should it decide home field advantage in the World Series? HELL NO (2004stillbitterfreakinRedSoxgrumblegrumbleharumphharumph). But I love how the players goof around with each other while cute little kids run around. Since Cinnamon Girl already delightfully highlighted the All Stars, I’d like to take this chance to highlight the Derby guys. The Home Run Derby airs tonight at 8/7 central on ESPN. Tune in for a Bugs & Cranks liveblog!
I forgot to put the quiz answers in my post today. Here is the NCAA Helmet Quiz, if you’d like to participate. If you are just dying to have the answers for any you couldn’t get, they are after the jump.
>>The Cards dropped 2 of 3 to the Cubs this weekend, but I just can’t be that disappointed about it. We played ‘em tough two games. We only got blown out in the third game. I won’t be mad at all if we stay 1-2 in the NL Central all year because then the NLCS Thunderdome between the Cards/Cubs will be that much sweeter. What concerns me much more than the Cubs right now are the Brewers. They’ve caught the Cards in the standings and are probably going to snag CC Sabathia from Cleveland, plus they start a 4-game series at home against the lowly Rockies today. I don’t want this to turn into a 3-team race! I was happy with a 2-team race! [foot stomp]
I hope you all have something awesome to do today. I just found a Jaws marathon on AMC, so now I know what I’ll be doing from 9:30 am til 5:00 pm today. That’s Jaws I-III, for those of you keeping score at home. Jaws IV sucks balls. II and III suck balls too, but in that so-bad-they’re-awesome way.* IV just sucks big fat donkey balls. Michael Caine should be ashamed of himself. At 5:00 pm my relatives are coming over and we’re grilling succulent pork loin, eating my mom’s killer potato salad, drinking all the sangria we can drink and watching Cubs/Cards. It’s a good day.
But in case you don’t have any good plans or you just want something to entertain you while you put up with your yucky relatives, here is a very fun activity that it took me the better part of yesterday to complete. It is an NCAA Helmet Quiz (just click and “save” to your desktop) where you identify the school that goes with each helmet. Trust me, it’s harder than it sounds.
The St. Louis Cardinals set a record yesterday. With Nick Stavinoha starting at DH, they set a season record for starting rookies. Thus far the Cardinals have started nine different rookies and weirdly enough Colby Rasmus is not one of them. The nine rookies are: pitchers Mitchell Boggs, Kyle McClellan, Mike Parisi, Chris Perez and Mark Worrell, outfielders Brian Barton, Joe Mather, Nick Stavinoha and Rico Washington. For my grades on their performances, check out an article here. For pictures of these Rookie Hotties, just see below.
I was asked to compete in the inaugural Iron Ref contest over at our friends Hugging Harold Reynolds. I’m competing against Blog Hotties Dewey Hammond and Chris Mottram. Dewey is the Managing Editor of Yardbarker and Chris is the Editor of The Sporting Blog. Those are big places. I’m just a lowly little Lady and Cranklet. So go vote for me here! Leave votes in the comments. I don’t need (not do I expect) to win, I just don’t want to get embarrassed.
Here is the enemy my competition (Dewey on the left, Chris on the right) because Ladies… is a blog that values cuties and I could not help but notice that they both fall into that category.
Today there is a post on AOL Fanhouse of an interview with me about sex/sexism in sports blogging. There were cuts made to the interview that I objected to, so I am posting the interview in its entirety here because I don’t think a subject’s answers should be cut, or if they have to be cut the subject should be the one making the cuts. The big cuts are in italics. There are other minor changes here and there as well.