Ladies…Bracket Brawl 2013: This Time It Counts*

Your tourney favourites (AP Photo)

*Well, if you count bragging rights.

This post is brought to you by Advil Cold and Sinus, so if this starts down the trail of incoherence forgive me. It’s NCAA Tourney Time which means we have a Bracket to Brawl over. You can join our group, Ladies…Bracket Brawl, here on ESPN’s Tournament Challenge (password is ladiesdotdotdot) Once again, we are offering the winner (the non-Ladies… contributor winner, that is) a slot for a guest post. Need some insight? You will find some here and here but you should probably avoid cold medication unless you’re comfortable with choosing Davidson to go Elite Eight. For the mobile minded, NCAA has an app for iOS and Android to help you follow along (sadly, not available in Canada’s iTunes Store. BOO-URNS.)

March Madness starts Thursday, March 21 so get your brackets in now!

The Ladies… Bracket Brawl Commences!

Let’s see, Louisville, Florida State, Missouri … was there any major conference tournament where the 1 seed came out on top?  And are those results foreshadowing another chaotic NCAA tournament, or just a sign of the top teams saving their best efforts for a national championship run?

You tell us, because the Ladies…Bracket Brawl is back!  Just join our Tournament Challenge group (the password is ladiesdotdotdot) and see if you can be the first reader in three years to come out on top.  The Ladies are just playing for bragging rights; our readers are playing for their very own guest post.  Of course you have to win first.  And to win you have to enter a bracket before the games begin on Thursday, March 15.* Just click the link and get started!

*The First Four play-in games, which take place earlier in the week, aren’t included in the brackets. Sorry, that’s just how ESPN sets it up.

Advent Calendar of Hotness: Day 12

Now, I know what you’re thinking – hey Buffalita, why would your pick for the ACoH hottie today be a running back that somewhat stomped all over your beloved Bills yesterday?  Well, for two reasons – it’s intra-conference so it doesn’t really mean much since they’ll only play each other once every few years (plus let’s be honest – I had a bit of a hard time Billeiving that my poor team could pull one off against a team whose record is a tad closer to 500 than ours).  Plus, I figured I should show a little appreciation for one of the only useful running backs left on my fantasy team.  Smell the bitter from there?  Sure, maybe I’m a little bummed that without Peterson or Peyton Hillis for most of the season, my lineup was relatively useless.  But at least I could count on cutie Mr. Ryan Mathews of the San Diego Chargers to keep my head afloat.

Hit and Run: Root, Root, Root Edition

Photo: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

I am rooting for Clayton Kershaw these days. And no, it’s not just because he’s on my fantasy team. He happens to have just slid past Johnny Cueto for the NL ERA title — although it’s a slim enough margin that a bad inning could knock him right back into second. I still bear Cueto a grudge for kicking Jason LaRue in the face and ending his career last season, so I would prefer he not win anything for quite some time. Of course, at the moment Cueto’s on the disabled list and hasn’t yet pitched enough innings to qualify for the ERA title, so it may become Kershaw’s anyway. Karma’s a bitch, Johnny.

Baseball’s regular season is winding down, but there’s plenty of other things to root for:

Your NFL Fantasy Starts Here!

Well, it's ... not Bieber hair. (Reuters/Adam Hunger)

First there was the lockout.  Then there was preseason.  Finally, finally the NFL season actually starts playing games that count, with tonight’s Saints – Packers matchup.  Which also means, after weeks of draft preparation and stat scrutinizing, your fantasy team can finally start proving its worth (or disappointing you, if you are like a buddy of mine who says he only likes his fantasy team before the season starts).  We have a record 14 teams in Ladies… League this year, so there is much excitement and anticipation.  My team, Creepier Doll Collective (it was too good a name! it had to have a sequel!) wound up with Dreamboat himself, Tom Brady, at starting quarterback, but oddly I am much more excited to have my backup quarterback…

Hit And Run: (Mostly) Celebrity Edition

As excited as the Ladies get for baseball’s All-Star festivities, we tend to ignore the Celebrity Softball game.  I may have to at least DVR it, however, now that Chris Pratt (Parks and Rec, Everwood) has been announced as one of the celebrities. Chris is in the Moneyball movie as one of the A’s prospects, so he’s presumably had at least some movie prep coaching.  If he brings MouseRat to sing the national anthem, I’ll even watch it live.

Also on the celeb roster:

NOT The Sweetest Hangover

Unlike my girl Diana, this is not the sweetest hangover – this is the WORST kind of hangover!

It’s not brought on by copious amounts of Yuengling and Makers Mark.

It’s not accompanied by the Stride of Pride.

It’s not cured by greasy food.

It’s not something that gets worse with age.

It’s a hangover that only comes with the harsh realization… football is OVER until Fall.

Hit & Run: Fantasy Football Disasters Edition

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Guess who writes for a sports blog and has Reggie Bush on both her fantasy teams, including one that is in such bad shape as far as running backs go that she is resorting to starting Fred Taylor and 3 WRs for week 3?  Yeah.  So.  (Though as someone who dates a Saints fan, I must note there’s a certain amount of relief among the NOLA fanbase that Reggie’s leg is “just” broken and he didn’t reinjure his knee.)

Injuries and fantasy football lineups thus being on my mind, I thought I’d take a quick survey of other developing situations around the league that might impact your fantasy choices this week.

Ask the Ladies… Where the NFL Hotties Are (Part 2)

Cheesy, yes. But who can resist the smoldering eyes of Mark Sanchez?

  

Last week, we began the onerous task of helping a reader find an NFL team to cheer for. Karen has informed us that she has narrowed down her options to the Pats, Saints and Ravens. But Karen, before you make a decision, please consider a fourth option: the New York JETS. Games Mistress takes the handoff after the jump.

Are you ready for some football?

Earlier this week, The Ladies…held their fantasy football league draft. I couldn’t make it, as I was busy shoveling fondue into my face at dinner with my lovely husband. I let the drafting system autodraft my team, and…let’s just say that I don’t suggest doing that. Somehow I have six quarterbacks (if you can call Kyle Orton a quarterback at this point, which I don’t) and one defense. The fact that said defense is Miami is making me consider spending the entirety of the season drinking heavily, because I am so screwed.

Lesson learned: Draft your fantasy football team first. Then celebrate your wedding anniversary.

Anyway, we here at The Ladies… wouldn’t be The Ladies… if we didn’t bring you a little objectfication along with your football. We decided to pick the hottest members of our own teams, and to bring some lovely photographic evidence to you. You know, because we care. Abs, sweat, and football hotness after the jump.

What’s Your Fantasy? The Ladies… talk Fantasy Baseball

Smart move: Drafting Grady Sizemore. Bad Move: Losing your job over it!

So if you’re like me, not only do you love sports, you love fantasy sports, as well.  Personally, I feel like managing a fantasy teams helps me be a better fan.  But that’s a topic for another day.  Today, I’m going to let you in on my drafting strategy.  I know we’re just past the All-Star break, but it’s never a bad time to discuss the make-up of your team and how it came to be.  Now is the time in the season where you take a step back and evaluate your talent. 

It’s make or break time, people!  If you’re looking for the answers to your fantasy team woes, this post may not be the best answer, but I can sure help you with some strategy for the future after the jump.

To Ram or Not to Ram…

While some may think that May is a bit early to be discussing football, I disagree! Especially when contemplating adding a new team to your rooting roster.  The St. Louis Rams (now you really think I’m crazy!) have been on a my radar for the past few years, and now with the acquisition of a certain Ohio State player I thought it was time to analyze their potential in becoming mine, and possibly your, new team!

I see a trend in my posts relating to time travel, so let’s roll with it… On to that beautiful time of year when Football and Baseball intersect to form a perfect fall day!

The Ladies… Fantasy League

So like every other person in the world we here at Ladies have our own fantasy football league. The thing is, I’m typically a lazy person and just didn’t tell all of you about it. I did, don’t get me wrong. But being lazy is so much easier than writing a post about a league where the commissioner started out sucking and is just now getting on track and is within looking distance of the leaders.

Ahem.

So I think this is the perfect week to get everyone updated on the status of the league and some of our, um, interesting team names. And a little surprise on who else is in the league.

Hottie Hit & Run: Hot men are evidence that God exists…

O Hai there Ryan Lochte and Jay-Z. Is it some sort of rule that Olympic medalists have to carry those things around for the entire year after the games are over? That would get annoying. I mean they don’t really go with anything… On the plus side, I was super-afraid Lochte was going to fade into obscurity after the Olympics whilest The Phelps took over the stinking world. But no. He’s staying out in the limelight, looking hot, and quite dapper I might add. So keep it up Ryan, I love the suit. Although I prefer the Speedo, I’m okay with Armani as well.

Fantasy Hotties

Since we’ve all been talking about our fantasy teams, I thought I’d take this opportunity to highlight a hottie from each of my teams.  So I am here to show off my Top 5 Hotties of Fantasy Football.  Because yes… I AM playing in five fantasy football leagues.  Yeah.

Reggie Bush, RB, DUAN League

I'd let him run my back. Or something.

It’s Here. And I Can’t Get Away From It.

The Ladies… had our Fantasy Football draft Wednesday night, and I’m in the midst of what Basketbawful calls drafterglow.. I feel like I have an awesome team, I’m going to smash everybody, and end the season being carried out on everyone’s shoulders or something ridiculous like that. However, I had three players play yesterday – Chris Cooley, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Amani Toomer – and got not a single point from them. Nineteen yards between the three of them! Screw those guys.

But still, I’m optimistic. I’ve got some very good big name players, some players I was hoping to get, and a pretty hot team, considering. And I got this guy here:

I hate Tom Brady. But he is the best.

Other than him, I got…

Welcome back, NFL: Eli, urine, and more

Thanks to this website, I am losing my NFL fantasy league virginity. We held the draft of the Ladies… league last night, and let me tell you, it is HARD to watch Rebublican National Convention coverage and Project Runway while drafting a fantasy team for which I didn’t pre-rank anyone at all. What an adventure. So here’s how my vewwwy fiwst dwaft went…

QB1: Eli Manning, NYG

Eli Manning will be under center in 2008’s first NFL game tonight against Washington. Check it out on NBC! Woooo it’s NFL time! (But it is also still baseball season! I <3 my life!)

Miscellaneous Monday Mirth

Remember last year when I made fun of the guy who took Matt Leinart in the 4th round of his Fantasy Football draft?  And then I mentioned him again here as what NOT to do?

This year, he waited until the LAST round to pick Leinart, though he DID wear his official Leinart jersey TO the draft.  Way to go, Ryan!  You can be taught!

I love this picture. So much.

Andrea’s Fantasy… Football

There have recently been some questions regarding fantasy football.  Now, this post is not going to be breaking down each position with rankings and whatnot.  Those lists can be found everywhere.  What I am here to do is to explain basically how the game is played and which sites I like the best for fantasy football.

Rotisserie chicken rules. Rotisserie baseball sucks.

Unlike Fantasy Baseball, which is frequently played in two different styles (rotisserie and head-to-head), Fantasy Football is largely played head-to-head.  (At least, that’s been my experience.)  What that means is that once you have your team, you will face off against somebody else’s team each week.  Each team accumulates points based on how their players do in the real games and whichever team has more points gets a win.  Then there are overall standings based on the win-loss records.  So if in the first 5 weeks I beat Metschick, lost to SA, beat Minda, beat Chitown Chick and lost to Dame of Extra Time, I’d be 3-2 overall.

Stand By Your Man Fantasy QB Results: Week 15 – Dreamboats are out!

Like every other fantasy league, the two top quarterbacks picked a hell of a time to shit the bed and ruin the the playoff runs for their hotshot owners. (Please let this happen in the real playoffs, please let this happen in the real playoffs, please let this happen in the real play offs.)

Favre squeaking by Manning leaves him as the highest remaining seed in the post-season and faces a tough match up in Week 16 as he plays a demoralized Bear team while Kitna looks to walk over the league’s doormat in KC. Brees will not get by so easily this week as he plays Philly while Rivers continues to drive for the playoffs against Denver.

Stand By Your Man Fantasy QB Results: Week 14 – The Playoffs Are Set!

It feels like just yesterday that we held our Fantasy Quarterback Draft, but here we are after Week 14 facing the playoffs. Interestingly enough, half of the top eight draft picks spent most of the season on the bench. (More on the ratio of hotness-to-stats-to-wins once the season ends. Hopefully by then I’ll be able to figure out how to properly weigh the strength of draft selections in the formula without using a dartboard.)

But first, the results of Week 14.

Stand By Your Man: Week 13 – BRADY DOWN! All Hail King Romo!

Why is Tony so happy? He’s smiling because even if the Pats won on Monday night, he was able to outscore Brady in their head to head hottie matchup and handed the Dreamboat his first lost of the season. (Just in the nick of time, as we are just a week away from the playoffs.)

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 12

ROMO! I don’t even know what to say to you now that you’ve been linked to Jessica Simpson. Carrie Underwood, great. Britney Spears, nothing happened. Other random starlet, fine. Jessica Simpson is about fifteen types of crazy before you start hanging with her wacko stage father, who apparently you spent Thanksgiving with.

AND you still have belly fat. I WANT TO LIKE YOU BUT GODDAMIT YOU MAKE IT SO DIFFICULT.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 11 – Hyperbole Edition

The beauty in watching pro-football is not in the speed of the receivers, not in the strength of the running backs, and not in size of the linemen. You might catch a glimpse of it in the leap of cornerback about to make an interception or when a tackle might move faster than a big guy should, but true beauty lies elsewhere on the field. Beauty appears in the moments that giants rise above the apparent chaos and see exactly what is happening across the turf.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 10

More crunches and less Nestle for you, Mr. Romo.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 9

Hi. My name is TheStarterWife and I write the Ladies Quarterback Fantasy Football update each week. This is probably one of the least popular columns we run – even among the Ladies – but still here I am plugging along. And since no one really reads this update, no one is going to notice what happens next…

Stand By Your Man – Week 7

Is there anyone more crushing to Fantasy Football owners than Tom Brady? (That is, unless you drafted Tom Brady?) His 188.10 total points for the season smoke second place Tony Romo (150.46) in the league.

Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge what geniuses we are by not drafting Brady Quinn in our all-hottie league. Not only is he still riding the pine, but the Browns starter Derek Anderson is in third with his 120.84 points. And, QUITE FRANKLY, he’s hotter than Brady in my book. More rugged. More manly. Poised even.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 5

Week 5. Really. It is already Week 5. One-third of the regular season is done and gone.

Tom Brady remains the only undefeated QB (surprisingly in head to head QB match-ups Peyton Manning is 2-3 in this league), and Clare’s Speckhosen finally come back to earth with a loss this weekend leaving her tied with SA and myself at 4-1.

This weekend also saw GordonShumway’s Jake Delhomme go out for the season, so she might want to consider sending her third stringer Jay Cutler a few casual, “How’ve you been” emails while Drew Brees proves to be the flakiest date of the season.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 3

Apologies to all the Ladies this morning for my delay in posting this this week’s Fantasy Football results. I went to do the post last night, but WordPress was down for repairs and I ended up falling asleep to “My House Flip” before eventually making it to bed.

What a sleep it was though. I never ever – EVER – dream about making out with hot celebrities in my sleep. Ever. (Ok, maybe once, but I think it has been quite some time since it last happened.)

Last night? I dreamt that George Clooney was running a abs-fitness boot camp and that I was taking the class, only to have George work me harder than the other students. After the training session, we ended up kissing for a bit, and he looks at me and says, “Don’t you remember me?” This teasing goes back and forth a little bit, and then he acts all hurt that I don’t remember hooking-up with him at the premiere party after-party for The Rundown. (Note – George Clooney was not in The Rundown, nor did I go to that premiere.) Anyway, he walks me back to my car and we make plans for later that day, leaving me to call my friend Jeremy and figuring out how to explain to TSB how I made out Clooney in summer of 2003 because that was about the time we stopped seeing other people and made our whole deal exclusive. (By this point in the dream, Clooney was looking more like Billy Zane, but I could have cared less. Both hot.)

So back to the Fantasy Football post.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 2

Week 2 of the Stand By Your Man fantasy football league had two Ladies, (Andrea and Clare), already looking to their back-up boyfriends and featured hottie QBs that were going against each other in the Sunday Night Football game.

Metschick (De)Jesus’ Homies	vs	SA Woodson over Manning
Philip Rivers 11.76	Starting QB	Tom Brady 22.36
Alex Smith 4.94	Backup QB	Matt Hasselbeck 13.84
Eli Manning 13.44	“Just a friend”	Matt Leinart 14.56
113.06	Overall team score	221.56

Winning QB and Game winner – SA

Metschick – I hate you, Philip Rivers. Yeah, you played better this week, but you only got me 11 points, and the QB your team faced netted my opponent 22. Whatever, just get out of my sight.

SA – DREAMBOAT!!!! That’s all.