So You’ve Got an Olympics Hangover

Maybe this was your first Olympics with access to NBC’s online feeds (or perhaps you are a lucky Canadian who can access live events all the time).  Maybe you coincidentally happened to have 14 days off work (counting weekends) during the 17 days of the Summer Olympics.  Maybe you are now exhibiting symptoms such as disorientation with your sudden abundance of free time, queasiness when watching sports where anthems are played before the game begins, and a compulsion to introduce Olympic athletes into only tangentially related topics (such as, say, Usain Bolt in a conversation about stealing bases on a Cardinals broadcast).  You may be suffering from an Olympics Hangover.  And, like those other types of hangovers, there are various methods for dealing with it.

NOT The Sweetest Hangover

Unlike my girl Diana, this is not the sweetest hangover – this is the WORST kind of hangover!

It’s not brought on by copious amounts of Yuengling and Makers Mark.

It’s not accompanied by the Stride of Pride.

It’s not cured by greasy food.

It’s not something that gets worse with age.

It’s a hangover that only comes with the harsh realization… football is OVER until Fall.

DON’T LEAVE ME!

Last night was a sad night in basketball and today is my mourning/hangover period. Stupid San Antonio. Stupid defending champs. Stupid Manu Ginobili! (I irrationally dislike him. It’s mostly the name I think.) Now it’s time to face reality. He’s gone. I can’t believe he’s gone. How will I watch the rest of the NBA season without his smile? His speed? His almighty awesomeness? Chris Paul, I mourn the loss of thee on my television set.

Subway Series: Round Two

Two hotties, side by side…

As always, guests first:

All in all, not a very impressive game on either side of the ball. Both teams did their jobs defensively, but the bats were pretty quiet with the biggest noise coming out of Reyes with a one run shot.

31 lirpa, Setarip ta Stnaig: Ereht Saw I

Where the hell did this tattoo come from?

Where am I? Why am I awake at 5:30 in the morning on a Saturday? Why do I smell like an ashtray?

There’s a cat nuzzling my face and licking my forehead. That’s strange: I don’t think I own a cat.

Where is the bathroom? I AM GOING TO BE SICK.

The Best Bracket Ever – The NCAA Tourney Hottie Bracket

It is glorious. It puts all other brackets to shame.  It is the Ladies… Hottie NCAA Tournement Bracket

hottiebracket.pdf (Click the PDF for full page download)

If you thought that all the previews and wrap-ups were hot,  wait until you see them all in one place.

Tonight, we drink to J-Money for putting together all of the Ladies selections.

It is, without a doubt, better than we ever imagined it could be.

 

Mid-American Conference Hangover

This post is the product of an actual hangover which is so bad, it’s lasted 3 days since the MAC Championship game actually happened. I blame the state of Florida and its lovely beaches and bars, the ACC and its conference championship basketball game (from which I promise to make a full report, pictures and all), and all the baseball players down here for spring training that have distracted me from the computer. Stupid, sexy spring training.

The Miami boys are camera shy…

What a game, though! Possibly the most thrilling finish in a year of thrilling conference finishes, Miami (OH) came from the #4 seed to defeat #1 seeded Toledo in the semis, and then #2 seeded Akron in the championship game on a last second 3-point buzzer beater. I’m so glad I got the chance to use the phrase, “buzzer beater” – so thanks to you, Miami, for that. And if that wasn’t exciting enough, there was the added kerfluffle when Miami had a case of premature celebration, and (after much heated discussion at the officials’ table) .6 seconds were put back on the clock. But Akron couldn’t capitalize on the .6 and Miami got to experience a full-on case of celebration and an automatic bid to the Big Dance.

Congratulations, Redhawks of Miami (OH) – and please don’t hold that whole prejudging your school against me- I have learned the error of my ways.

Big Ten Hangover: A Real Hangover

The plan was to attend Friday’s games, get tons of pictures, come back with exciting stories and watch Iowa make their 4th trip in 7 tries to the finals of the tournament. Somehow, we manage to get our shit together for the Big Ten Tournament. However, we ended up being so bad in our quarterfinal match-up against Purdue that we didn’t even make the NIT. Seriously, as my friend Jebus put it: that’s like being turned down by a hooker. So, no fun stories, no great pictures. Just a helluva real hangover. (That picture came up when I searched for “suicide watch” and it made me laugh really hard).

The Hottie MVP is OSU’s Michael Conley Jr. He’s just a lil’ fella, but he’s a cutie. To the surprise of, well, no one, the Big Ten tourney final was a rematch of Ohio State and Wisconsin. I thought this game would be hotly contested and close the whole way; the regular-season meetings were decided by a total of 4 points. However, OSU handed Wisconsin a huge beat-down and secured themselves a #1 seed. I’ve already shown you the hot guy, so if you’d like to hear more of my thoughts about the NCAA bracket, come on in….

Mountain West Hangover – Tacos for all! (Including you Matt Leinart)

BREAKING NEWS CONNECTION – We just finally put the pieces together and realized BYU Hottie Jordan Cameron’s sister is Brynn Cameron, USC Woman’s basketball player and mother to Matt Leinart’s baby. Thanks to LenBias’s Connection and Lady Andrea for putting that together tonight!

Huzzah! UNLV and BYU gets invited to the NCAA tourney as 7 and 8 seeds! Air Force and San Diego State get to go to the NIT! Tacos for all! (New to the site? Welcome aboard! You can read about BYU’s Jordan Cameron’s love of Jack in the Box tacos here.)

But we’re taking UNLV’s Wendell White as our Hottie MWC MVP, because well… he’s hot and his team won the tourney championship. UNLV was able to snatch the title from outright season-league title holder BYU, (I never got that. Pick one winner. Not two.) in their 78-70 victory.

PAC-10 Hangover – The Biggest Loser Edition

Thank you Oregon.  Thank you Cal.  As a non-native Angeleno, there is nothing I enjoy more than seeing both UCLA and USC fail.   And fail they did.    

Thank you Bryce Taylor, (who I had picked on my All-Hottie PAC-10 team), for dominating yesterday’s title game.    Seriously?  11 for 11 from the field,  7  for 7  in three-point range, and perfect foul point shooting?  That giant “O” on your uni must be for “OMG! Hot and talented!” 

And even though this should be Oregon’s glory time, the real story is how other teams came up short.

Big West Hangover: Dwelt a miner 49er

#1 Long Beach St. defeats #2 Cal Poly. This was the second tournament I’ve hung over where the semis were the #1, #2, #3 and #5 teams and it was about as exciting as that last sentence. Cal Poly made it a game most of the way, but by the end the fightin’ 49ers of Long Beach kept a comfortable 10 point lead down the stretch.

The Hottie MVP is Long Beach State’s freshman guard at 6’3, 170: Darnell Porter. Hello Darnell. Are you over 18? Not that that’s necessarily a deal-breaker. Long Beach is most like going to be slotted into a #14 seed spot and since 14-3 upsets are becoming more common, the 49ers may not be one-and-done.

America East Hangover: SCOOBY DOO!

The America East Conference tourney was fairly run-of-the-mill. The only lower seed to beat a higher seed before the finals was #5 UMBC beating #4 Maine in the first round. The finals were a match-up between #1 Vermont v. #2 Albany. I watched the game and it was a decent ball game, in the sense that the score was always close. The style of play was a little slow. It definitely is not the run-n-gun style of the bigger programs, but it was a dogfight, which makes for good viewing. The score seesawed back and forth all game; the largest lead was when Albany went up 27-20 in the first half. By the end of the game, it was a 1-pt contest, but to read about the strange final minute of play, jump with me (jump, jump!)…

Patriot League Hangover – Collector’s Card

Congratulations Holy Cross!  You get your own card Hottie MVP Keith Simmons! (No relation to The Sports Guy, so calm down out there.)

Hooptimeonline did some great live-blogging from the Holy Cross – Bucknell championship game, (How does one live-blog in an arena?), and I cannot hope to top that for coverage.  (Unless I could have live-blogged from inside the locker room.)

Simmons was not on my initial Patriot League All-Conference Hottie Team Panty Raid, but after seeing his bod in action I knew I had to make a switch.

Which makes the Holy Cross Zach Paterick card that more valuable, so double check your collections.

Big Sky Hangover – A recap in MSPaint

Congratulations Weber State, you managed to hold on to your 21 point lead and defeat Northern Arizona 88-80.  Your invitation to the Big Dance is now secure.   (Although hand it to the Lumberjacks.  The fought back and came to within in 2 points of tying the game up late in the second half. Pity, because I was kinda rooting for Northern Arizona.) 

So join me and hit Start->Programs->Accessories->Paint.    And we ain’t resizing a thing.

Your winning Hottie MVP –  Juan Pablo Silveria.

Colonial Athletic Association Hangover

After the boring ass-beating of the A-Sun Conference championship, I was feeling empty. My March Madness experience was lacking, I wondered if I’d ever find excitement again. I was feeling sad and blue- but Virginia Commonwealth made me feel shiny and new… VCU and George Mason (George Mason?!?! what is this- 2006?) stepped up in a big way, delivering a thrilling championship game and making bubble teams across the land faint away dead from the stress. I love you, CAA. Will you marry me?

I got drunk and married CAA in Vegas! Errr, Richmond, VA!

See the complete wedding album, and all the dirt, after the jump…

Missouri Valley Conference Hangover

Nothin’ special to see here and Bubble Teams around the country can breathe one more sigh of relief.  All 4 top seeds made the semi-finals and the top 2 seeds made the finals. Creighton made the finals easily; Missouri State could never really find an answer for Creighton’s shifting defenses. Southern Illinois, however, had a tougher time and only beat Bradley on a last-second bucket. It would not surprise me to see the MVC get 4 tournament bids now; a lot will depend on how the other tournaments around the country shake out.  If my review of the title match sounds like a live-blog, that’s cause it is.  I actually got to watch all of the game with no interruptions. 

Big South Conference Hangover

Fuck you VMI. You almost had us going there, beating third-seed Liberty by 1, and then beating the second seed High Point by 10. And giving Winthrop a game down to the last nine seconds. And having us all believe you could be one of those tournament teams that came out of nowhere. But in the end your pathetic defense did you in. Winthrop beat VMI 84-81, going to the big dance for the seventh time in nine years and for the third straight year. The Eagles were lead by Torrell Martin, who scored 17 points. VMI was lead by Travis Holmes, who scored 29 points; that led all players on the floor. He made 6 out of 9 threes in the game. The Big South tournament team-Craig Bradshaw (MVP) (Winthrop), Michael Jenkins (Winthrop), Travis Holmes (VMI), Reggie Williams (VMI), K.J. Garland (UNC Asheville), and Eugene Harris (High Point).

Atlantic Sun Conference Hangover

The next morning, you always end up asking yourself… what the hell happened? Sometimes your recollections are hazy, and you only have vague impressions of where you went or what/who you did. Sometimes you have random text messages or voicemails or (best of all) photos on your cell that help you reconstruct the events. Sometimes, if you’re very lucky, you can’t remember a damned thing at all. That’s when you call your buddy, and have a debriefing to try and sort things out.

Were you drunk dialing again last night?

Let this be your debriefing for the Atlantic Sun Conference tournament – I’ll help you fill in the gaps.