Excuse me Mr. McCoy, but you seem to have a little something on your face…

I am no expert when it comes to college football. This post has nothing to do with the athletic abilities of the Longhorns or their QB. This is all about the sweet stache Colt McCoy is sporting in the above picture. I think we all know what Colt did during the summer: tried his best to resemble a 70s porn star. All I can say is, Mission Accomplished! Supposedly the mustache was grown as some sort of team bonding. And sadly, by next week it will more than likely be gone.

OK, that stache is all sorts of awesome, and by awesome I mean creepy. Looking at that pic for too long scares me a bit. Here’s a pic of Colt when his face isn’t quite so hairy:

Sure he may look better without it but I think the stache adds character.

So tell us, which Colt do you prefer?

I Should Have Today Off

Before the Big XII, before the corporate sponsor, before even the Cotton Bowl, there was the Texas Game.

It is Red River Rivalry Eve once more, and I am at work.  If I was still in college, I’d have the day off, because TPTB at the University of Oklahoma got tired of holding class on a day when half the student body was driving I-35 South.  I hate being an adult.

Enough grumbling. It’s OU-TX weekend again, y’all! (College football brings out my accent.  Even when I type, apparently.) Even though I’ve never been lucky enough to attend the game in person, nothing will stop me from following the game live from wherever I happen to be.  Even if I am stuck in a hotel room in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan listening to the play by play as it is relayed by my friend’s father over her cell phone.

But that was last year.  This year, I should actually be able to watch the game on TV — no small feat, considering I live in the Northeast and Penn State is a top ten team this year.  But since this is the fifth time in the history of the rivalry that both teams are ranked in the Top 5 — guess who is number one? — not much is going to stop this game from reaching a national audience.

Horns’ Happy Hottie Holiday

Why, hello, Colt McCoy. Aren’t you looking all fine with that Offensive MVP trophy and those awesome Texas guns? I’m so glad to see you show up in San Diego at the Holiday Bowl without bringing along those friends of yours Mr. Int and Mr. Erception — you know, the ones that have been hanging around you all season. (Although I did notice that you couldn’t get rid of the other member of the Suck Trio, Mr. Fumble – but considering the scoreboard, I’ll forgive you.) You’re like our own Matt Saracen, all grown up – wide-eyed and full of small-town boyish charm. I am required by Texan law to lavish schmoopy praise on our QB- especially when his name is Colt McCoy, as clearly he was destined to lead us to victory with a name like that. (See? There I go again!)

Heck, now that I think of it, just about every member of the Longhorns team that stepped on the field last night looked pretty darned hot– winning will do that for you. Why don’t you all take a step forward so we can appreciate your hotness. NOT SO FAST, CHRIS JESSIE.

I’m pretty sure that you should never, ever, EVER step foot on the field of play again, unless you are specifically instructed to do so by a member of the coaching staff who is not your stepfather. I’m also pretty sure we need to outfit you with one of those child leash things, so that the coaches can yank you backwards like Phillip the Hyper Hypo if you try to run up and grab a live ball again.

Now that we’ve covered that unpleasantness, we can move on to all the pictures of hotties, after the jump…

Pink Locker Room

The tables have turned for the Ladies, some for the better and some….not so much. Metschick seems to be cruising along swimmingly and we all completely hate her and the Scarlet Knight she rode in on. (Just kidding, Metsy! Haha, don’t hurt me!) Follow me after the jump for contemplations, crying and cleavage….

The Pink Locker Room

COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS HERE! Welcome to a new weekly feature here at Ladies: thoughts on our homer teams from the previous weekend. We’ve got 8 Ladies and 8 colleges, though that is because G-shum wants two and TSW just putters around the Ladies Batcave muttering about Yinzers and some Lawrence Fishburn-lookalike. Lots of great college football this past weekend, so let’s check in with all the Ladies after their teams’ first fall outings…..

Hump Day Hottie: Huston Street

Huston Street is smoking hot. Let’s get that out of the way right off the bat. Outrageously hot (and don’t forget the award-winning ass). He’s also a lights-out closer for the Oakland A’s, and the proud owner of the 2005 AL Rookie of the Year trophy. He’s charming and hilarious (see: exhibit A or his in-the-booth commentary during the July 5th A’s game). He is a budding wine connoisseur. He plays the guitar. He wrote an interesting blog for ESPN (I know! Interesting content on ESPN? Check out his thoughts on MLB clubhouses). He’s madly in love with his fiance and proposed with 1,500 roses (that is not a typo). His intro music is “Hate Me Now” by Nas. He pitches with his tongue stuck out DWright-like in concentration.

Oh, yeah- and he won my beloved University of Texas the 2002 National Championship in baseball — following in his dad’s footsteps, who won us the 1969 National Championship in football (and was a hottie to boot- Huston looks almost identical to his dad back in the day). Huston’s twin younger brothers (Jordon and Juston) play baseball for Texas as well- and, yes, they’re hot, too. The whole Street clan (including older half-brother Ryan, an architect, and baby brother Hanson, a college student) are huge Longhorn fans, and get as geeked about Texas college football games as any other fan. So… Huston is pretty much perfect.

And on the occasion of his return from the DL, it’s high time he gets the full Hump Day Hottie treatment. Welcome back, Huston.

A whole heckuva lot of Street goodness- including pics of the whole hottie Street clan- after the jump.

Father’s Day Aftershave – Texas Gal

All I know about sports, and my undying love for them, comes from my Dad.

As the daughter of a coach, I pretty much had to learn sports or perish- and I definitely chose to learn (and love) them. Some of my earliest memories are of me and my mother sitting in the stands on Friday nights and watching my dad coach in football games and waving my black and gold pompom for Lubbock High.

Daddy also made sure I grew up indoctrinated in the Church of the Texas Longhorns. The lullaby he sang to me as a baby wasn’t the standard “Rock A Bye Baby” tune, it was “The Eyes of Texas”. I’m pretty sure I learned to do the Hook ‘Em Horns handsign before I learned to walk.

Curse: Reversed

RIP Madden Curse, 1998-2007. You’ve left a slew of former greats in your wake: Marshall Faulk, Eddie George, Daunte Culpepper, Michael Vick, Donovan McNabb and Shaun Alexander. Well, no more- because much like Matt Leinart and the ’05 Trojans, you’re about to get shredded by Longhorn hottie Vince Young. He’s defeated much stronger opposition than you, including (but not limited to): Michigan, Oklahoma, USC, Ohio State, the NFL Draft, the Texans, the Colts, Merrill Hoge, communism, and evil everywhere… not to mention the SI Cover Jinx (six times). Farewell, Madden Curse! It’s been real, and it’s been fun- but it hasn’t been real fun.

Don’t Judge Me

… in which the post author confesses that she has a crush on an unusual athlete, and attempts to justify the unjustifiable.

ROGER CLEMENS EDITION

Rocket at Yanks game yesterday. Yes, he’s talking to Joe Torre.

So here’s the thing: I have a huge crush on Roger Clemens. Like, I would have his babies Giselle/Bridget-style, and I don’t even really like kids. Although I would not classify him as “hot”, he is incredibly sexy – and I would pick him over almost all the baseball players actually in my own age bracket. I think I can point to four reasons why.

Homer Hotties: Texas Independence Day Edition

¡Feliz Día de Independencia de Tejas! For those unlucky souls in the other 49 states (and beyond), March 2nd is the official state holiday celebrating the Republic of Texas’ independence- not from Britain (we were still speaking Spanish and/or French at the time), not from the evil Yankee North (that will come later), but from Mexico. Yes, Texas was its own nation for almost 10 years- and we still act like we are today. This was the fourth flag of six to fly over Texas (hence the Six Flags themepark chain name), and we fly all six flags over the capitol building, at sports stadiums, etc. We are a funny people.

Pssst – the answer: Texas (of course)

I am using this day and the history lesson above as my excuse for a special edition of Homer Hotties- because rather than pick one guy, I’m going to give you a rundown of ALL the hotties that play for the Texas Longhorns. Don’t mess with Texas, y’all.