Why, hello, Colt McCoy. Aren’t you looking all fine with that Offensive MVP trophy and those awesome Texas guns? I’m so glad to see you show up in San Diego at the Holiday Bowl without bringing along those friends of yours Mr. Int and Mr. Erception — you know, the ones that have been hanging around you all season. (Although I did notice that you couldn’t get rid of the other member of the Suck Trio, Mr. Fumble – but considering the scoreboard, I’ll forgive you.) You’re like our own Matt Saracen, all grown up – wide-eyed and full of small-town boyish charm. I am required by Texan law to lavish schmoopy praise on our QB- especially when his name is Colt McCoy, as clearly he was destined to lead us to victory with a name like that. (See? There I go again!)
Heck, now that I think of it, just about every member of the Longhorns team that stepped on the field last night looked pretty darned hot– winning will do that for you. Why don’t you all take a step forward so we can appreciate your hotness. NOT SO FAST, CHRIS JESSIE.
I’m pretty sure that you should never, ever, EVER step foot on the field of play again, unless you are specifically instructed to do so by a member of the coaching staff who is not your stepfather. I’m also pretty sure we need to outfit you with one of those child leash things, so that the coaches can yank you backwards like Phillip the Hyper Hypo if you try to run up and grab a live ball again.
Now that we’ve covered that unpleasantness, we can move on to all the pictures of hotties, after the jump…
Jamaal Charles – doing the LT-flip
It’s always hot when your lineman scores a TD. Especially a RECEIVING touchdown.
Awww, Derek Lokey- you’re so precious.
I, too, would grab Colt’s ass if given the opportunity-
so I can hardly blame ASU’s Luis Vasquez for doing the same.
John Chiles? Also hot. Can’t be trusted to pass the ball yet, maybe next year.
Still pretty to look at, though.
Jesus loves it when Colt gives him the Hook ‘Em Horns.
Frustration is hot when worn by the opposing team’s QB.
A tip for you, Rudy Carpenter: never, ever run your mouth off to the press before a game. Because when you lose, the entire other sideline will mock you with chants of “RU-DY!” And I will laugh.
Winning: much hotter than losing.
Matt Saracen Colt McCoy – my hero!
And just because you never get to see enough pictures of athletes with porcupines:
Ladies... 
I swear I saw Killebrew make a tackle. No, like a real one. No, NOT an arm tackle. it didn’t appear to be an accident either. The sky has turned to sackcloth.
Anytime Killebrew leaves the game, all my friends and I get excited because that means the REAL linebackers are coming in the game.
Is it weird that I can actually see Chris-DID YOU KNOW HE’S MACK BROWN’S STEPSON!!! OMG! /Musberger-Jessie in one of those child leash things?
PORCUPINES! It’s my new “PUPPIES!”
Mocking chants of “RU-DY” are always funny.
You are absolutely correct: I do NOT see enough pictures of athletes with porcupines. More, please!
(Yay for Texas winning so I’m not so desperately out of contention in my bowl pool! And yay for having to try three times to type the complete word “pool” after trying to type “poo” on previous attempts!)