I can already hear you saying “Bee, this is the Advent Calendar of HOTNESS! Where is my well-chiseled bare chested hunk? Because…for gawd’s sake, did I really wait all day for TIM THOMAS?!!” Continue reading
Category Archives: crushes we cannot explain
This post brought to you by the letter ‘E.’
As in, Group E. Oh, yes. It’s time for another installment of ‘Seriously, there’s a reason folks the world over love the World Cup, and it ain’t all about the footwork.’
But before we start with the glorious, glorious eye candy, we just have to ask, since this is going live before the (unholy early) 7 AM EST Korea Republic v. Greece match: Does anyone feel like, you know, winning a World Cup match? Just saying. Ties are like kissing your sister. Or, well, brother, in our case.
Anyway, the hotness.
The Netherlands own Robin Van Persie.
2010 Masters: Now With More Hotness
First and foremost, congrats to Phil Mickelson on his 3rd Masters win!!
Not to take away from that or anything, but as we watched the last few moments of the tournament, I couldn’t help but think: what’s a bored girl to do if she’s stuck watching golf? Yes, that competitive spirit can sink in just for a moment in the end, but otherwise it’s usually thought of as a great nap inducer (what with the lack of action and hushed voices and all). Usually GOLF and HOTNESS are not synonymous or even found in the same sentence. But as I shallowly searched through the photos of all Masters contestants, I was pleasantly surprised, and felt that many of these faces deserve my fellow golf loathers’ attention.
Crappy sports weekend – redeemed!
Heading to Miller Park for tonight’s Brewers/Cards game I was in a sports funk.
My Wisconsin Badgers had lost the hockey National Championship, the Bucks had lost to the Celtics – and I work with two obnoxious Boston fans, and the Brewers had lost two straight to division rivals the St. Louis Cardinals – the first on a blown Trevor Hoffman save and the second in embarassing 7-1 fashion to a rookie pitcher on Fox Saturday baseball.
To top it off, the Brewers are historically awful during nationally televised games and they were about to face Chris Carpenter.
If it weren’t for the bobblehead giveaway, I might not have gone to the game at all.
Follow the jump to find out why I’d have hated myself if I’d stayed home
We interrupt this hiatus for…uh, wrestling.
Okay, we know we’re on vacation and everything, but sometimes something so unspeakably awesome happens that we just have to say something.
Today? Mick Foley happened.
Let’s catch up on Mick Foley, shall we? He’s gone by ‘Mankind’ and ‘Cactus Jack’ and ‘Dude Love’. He’s wrestled using a baseball bat covered in barbed wire and once lost two thirds of his ear in the ropes. Oh, and his finisher before he retired from the WWE was Mr. Socko: a dirty sweatsock shoved into the mouths of his opponents. We are not making that up.
But that’s Mick Foley the performer. Mick Foley the wrestler. Mick Foley the showman.
Mick Foley the person?
Is donating the ENTIRETY of his latest book’s profits to Children’s Fund International (benefiting rape victims in the Sierra Leone) and RAINN, the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.
Oh, and he’s volunteering his time to work as an online counselor for RAINN’s support line.
We ladies may ogle, and we may joke, but in the end, we are a bunch of women writing about sports. We’re women.
We may not ever write about wrestling ever again, but we’re women. And as women, we salute Mick Foley.
And now we’re back on vacation.
Send in the clowns.
So if you’re following me on Twitter, you’ve discovered that I have a bit of an unhealthy obsession with figure skating. (Okay, okay, that’s like saying John Mayer has an obsession with saying spectacularly stupid things in public.)
Given that I hate most girly aspects of sports (pink anything and everything, Ladies Nights, and the existence of Alyssa Milano’s Touch line, to start) like burning, some of the other Ladies…were mildly confused when I started shrieking about toe loops and salchows. I mean, it’s figure skating, right? I should like manly things, like the biathlon and moguls. I should frown on feathers and sequins and Dick Button.
But here’s the thing. I love figure skating. I loooooooove figure skating.
Wait, a Buffalo team? Doing well?
Say it ain’t so, Sabretooth!
In all seriousness, I’m well aware that I’m known for whining just a bit. Can’t help it, all of my teams are, well, cursed you could say. So when one of them starts doing well, I get a little excited and decide after a holiday and birthday hiatus to dedicate an entire post to how hot my beloved Buffalo Sabres are, but never fear: I never count my chickens…
Hump Day Hottie: Portland Trail Blazers
I’m the first to admit that I’m not a big NBA fan. I do enjoy the college game, so I don’t hate the game. I’ve taken issue with some aspects of the pro game in recent years, so I gave up a bit on the NBA. Don’t get me wrong, I do follow the Wizards since they’re the closest team to me geographically speaking, but I’m not at the point where I have to watch every single game. I do find myself following guys that I loved while they were in the NCAA, and that’s what brings me to this post.
I’ve found myself on more than one occasion watching Blazer games. (Probably because of this guy!) I’ve also discovered that this team is not only fun to watch, but they’re kinda hot! So take a trip with me to Rip City after the jump.
Are you ready for some football?
Earlier this week, The Ladies…held their fantasy football league draft. I couldn’t make it, as I was busy shoveling fondue into my face at dinner with my lovely husband. I let the drafting system autodraft my team, and…let’s just say that I don’t suggest doing that. Somehow I have six quarterbacks (if you can call Kyle Orton a quarterback at this point, which I don’t) and one defense. The fact that said defense is Miami is making me consider spending the entirety of the season drinking heavily, because I am so screwed.
Lesson learned: Draft your fantasy football team first. Then celebrate your wedding anniversary.
Anyway, we here at The Ladies… wouldn’t be The Ladies… if we didn’t bring you a little objectfication along with your football. We decided to pick the hottest members of our own teams, and to bring some lovely photographic evidence to you. You know, because we care. Abs, sweat, and football hotness after the jump.
Continue reading
In Which I Point Out That Someone Has Done Something Awesome
If you haven’t already, go read this article from Beyond the Box Score.
IT MAKES STEPS TOWARDS QUANTIFYING CATCHER DEFENSE.
TOO COOL.

Still unquantifiable: Erick Aybar's socks.
Yes, that’s a random photo. But it’s a neat image. So there.
Try to survive the night.
(Aaaaahhhhh someone is quantifying catcher defense!!!)
Oh, and, uh, guys? I promise I’ll say something interesting over the weekend. Just a thought to get you excited for my upcoming angry ramblings and rants: Who do you think is having the best season? Andy LaRoche, Jason Bay, or Manny Ramirez?
Hump Day Hotties: Sports Movie Crushes
Today has officially been dubbed “Dead Day” at my work since we’re hurting for any type of live sporting event. Some of my coworkers have suggested having a sports-themed movie day, and that got me thinking about some of my favorite sports-centric movie characters. I polled the Ladies to see what movie characters they crushed on as teenyboppers (or as grown women – we don’t judge!).
Follow us after the jump to see our crush-worthy choices!
It’s my party and I’ll take over if I want to
I had a great idea to do a post about the Futures game, checking out more than just the on-field talent. However, there are not a lot of pictures out there of minor league players, it turns out. Google Images and I spent some quality time together and I came up with very little.
Look to Crane to give you some Futures hottie love later…
So instead of giving you relevant content, I’m taking over.
It’s my birthday tomorrow, so follow me after the jump where I indulge myself by posting pictures of soccer boys that make me happy!
Ohhhh Canada: The Canuck Boys of Summer
Hey, it’s my nation’s birthday today! We’re …old! Today – if the weather and my second sinus attack in a week clears – I’ll be joining my fellow Canadians enjoying BBQ, drinking beer (not Molson), and rubbing red face paint off my tired children’s cheeks as I grumble to Mr. Bee about how we shouldn’t have stayed out late watching the fireworks when we have to get up for work in the morning.
Some random facts about Canada:
- We are actually 142 years old. 142 is the new 122.
- We’re not constitutionally required to like Nickelback.
- I don’t think our prime minister’s hair has ever moved…ever!
Today we’re showing our True Patriot Love by rolling out our favourite Canucks on the mound and at the plate (or in the case of Russell Martin, behind the plate). So be your most polite, apologetic self, grab a double-double and join us after the jump. Continue reading
Fashion Police: AJ Burnett
So y’all know how much I love AJ Burnett. And you also probably noticed this yesterday. But even though his pitching was pretty damn good, I have a question for you: Did you see the shirt he was wearing in the postgame press conference?
Well, in case you didn’t — or in case you need a reminder — he wore this:
It’s just… I don’t even know. First of all, I can’t figure out whether it’s pink or orange. Second of all, it’s not even buttoned properly (not that I necessarily have a problem with that, but y’know). Third of all, it has rhinestones on it. And fourth of all, he’s wearing gaudy chain necklaces.
The whole thing just sort of screams “I lost a bet with Nick Swisher”, doesn’t it?
The 2009 NBA Draft of Hotness
I am not a fan of the NBA. I have probably watched a total of 5 games in my entire life, but I absolutely love college basketball. It is much more competitive and entertaining. Also, there are a lot of hot guys to be found. (I am only 23 so I can still say that without being a total perv!) Last night was the NBA Draft. So that means that many players said goodbye to their college days and joined the pros. This also means that I will no longer know or care what is going on with them. (That’s a lie. There are quite a few players that I really like who were drafted last night. Next season might be the first year I genuinely care what’s going on in the NBA.)
OK, enough about college basketball being far superior to the NBA. Let’s move onto those hot guys. Having talent is really important and goes a long way in the actual draft, but it doesn’t get you far here. Blake Griffin may have been the number one pick last night (and rightfully so…boy is talented!), but he doesn’t make the cut in the Ladies… draft.
Now let the fun begin with the first pick…
Hump Day Hottie/Don’t Judge Me: AJ Burnett
Good morning.
*hides from all Mets fans, some Jays fans, plenty of Yankees fans*
(Incidentally, you don’t need a white horse to steer you back onto course.)
For each one of you that sees the “Read the rest of this entry” link here and doesn’t click on it, a child is taught that Saves are useful statistics and that Derek Jeter is worthy of this year’s All-Star Game start. (So that’s a maybe. But do you really want to risk it?)
Help me find a Hottie of my very own
So every time Sunday night rolls around and I wonder what to post on Monday morning, I go through and discard ideas.
And every week I think about doing a hottie post and I realize – I don’t really have any sports crushes.
Sure, I can appreciate all the boys you all fawn over – I get the Jacoby Ellsbury or Sidney Crosby crush – but none of these guys inspire true fan-girl love. I find an accent sexier than forearms and it’s been awhile since a Wisconsin athlete just made me swoon, so I need your help. Ryan Braun and JJ Hardy do it for some ladies, but they just don’t for me. Maybe I have standards that are too high or maybe I’m just not looking hard enough. I NEED YOUR HELP!
So please, follow me after the jump and help me find a boy to love!
Hit and Run: In Which Barry Zito’s BABIP Regresses, Right Before Our Eyes!
A.k.a. the “Complete MLB Rundown (To The Exclusion Of Everything Else)” edition. Why? Because I can. Yesterday’s scores presented BBC-style for extra hilarity and confusion.
- Red Sox 3 – 5 Blue Jays. Sevven sollid innings from Tallet (see what I did there?) provide a lead for Scott Downs to preserve, bringing them back into 2nd place in the mighty AL East. Go Jays!
- Marlins 7 – 3 Mets. Tim Redding sucks. Josh Johnson doesn’t. Go Fish!
- Braves 2 – 3 Diamondbacks. There are a lot of 3s today. Eric Byrnes finally does something good; namely, driving in the winning run in the 11th. No, wearing awesome socks doesn’t automatically mean that you’ve done something good.
- Dodgers 0 – 7 Cubs. Eric Stults fails as Dodgers get shut out for the first time all year. You know, I like the guy, but hey dude, put up or shut up. As in, put up zeros on the scoreboard, or shut the hell up when the reporters interview you and ask why you sucked. Go ahead, say, “I sucked”. David Ortiz did, you can too! Ugh. STULTS. My boy Brent Leach faces 1 batter, records 2 groundouts, because he’s cool like that. Go Dodgers.
- Twins 2 – 5 Rays. David Price blah blah blah 11 strikeouts blah blah blah 1st Major League win blah blah blah Free Rick Porcello!
- Reds 5 – 9 Brewers. Some dudes hit some home runs.
- Tigers 6 – 3 Orioles. Is Luke Scott on steroids? Naw, he’s just in an un-slump.
- Astros 4 – 7 Pirates. Hey guys, the Pirates just won another game. Meanwhile, the Astros lost another one and are hopelessly out of contention. Kind of like the Nationals.
- Yankees 10 – 5 Indians. Your first double-digit scoring game of the night was notable only for the fact that CC Sabathia gave up runs. I really hate that guy. Oh, and Nick Swisher (perhaps better known simply as AJ Burnett’s new boyfriend) hit a home run. I’m sure they celebrated in an entirely appropriate fashion that didn’t involve ice cream or maple syrup or leather and chains. No, I didn’t just imply that.
- Nationals 6 – 9 Phillies. Cole Hamels gets shelled but gets the win anyway. Disgusting. Lidge doesn’t implode, but his ERA is still above 8. Good luck with that, buddy.
- White Sox 5 – 3 Royals. Gil Meche gets no love from the bullpen. Which sucks.
- Athletics 1 – 14 Rangers. The average Leverage Index for this game was so low that it actually may have caused a Fangraphs implosion. Seriously, check it out:
- Padres 7 – 8 Rockies. This game is actually so boring that there’s no proof it happened, so I can’t tell you what happened, although I’m sure if you really want to know you can look it up somewhere.
- Mariners 4 – 3 Angels. If you’re a Mariners fan, then Jose Lopez is your saviour. On the other hand, if you’re a Mariners fan, then you probably have bigger problems, including the fact that your #5 starter is actually a vampire. That’s my clever way of saying that I sort of have a crush on Jason Vargas.
- Cardinals 6 – 2 Giants. Zito was doing fine until he gave up 3 consecutive doubles in the 7th. Actually, on a team that didn’t epitomize suckitude, he would’ve had an easy shot at winning this game, except that 1) Albert Pujols is on steroids and 2) The Giants suck, ergo, their bullpen sucks, ergo, their starters don’t win unless they pitch complete game shutouts. Except for that one time, but I’m pretty sure that was an accident. Oh, and Albert Pujols did do something good; namely, he struck out looking on a curveball from Zito that came thisclose to making me scream in delight. (I did actually sort of whimper, but the sexual power of a pitch like that is a discussion for another time. Just watch any Roy Halladay start, or a good AJ Burnett start. You’ll understand.)
Good morning. I know in darkness I will find you giving up inside like me.
Hit and Run: Now With More Pinstripes
Oh, come on now. This is my first ever Ladies… post! Cut me some slack and let me write about my Yankees! I promise next week, one of us will be showing some Pedroia love. It just won’t be me. Continue reading
Merry Christmas or other applicable happy day
If you don’t celebrate Christmas, don’t sweat it. You can still enjoy this post. If you do celebrate Christmas, have a merry one!
Earlier this year, our little site celebrated its 1000th post by highlighting each of our favorite hotties. Now, in the spirit of the holidays, it’s time for our hotties to give back. Do your eyeballs a favor and enjoy the Ladies…’ stocking stuffers after the jump.
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Friday Afternoon Cheesecake: Guilty Crushes
The Olympics are here!…Well, on a tape delay, at least. Still, they’re very welcome – the natives have been getting restless on the interweb with, as my fellow Lady mentioned below, only baseball to keep us busy. But the Olympics won’t really be here until tonight, unfortunately. It’s Friday afternoon – who’s read to turn off their brains a little?
You see, this morning, I happened to turn on ESPN. Hmm, I thought absently, readying my breakfast, that guy’s kind of hot. Imagine my horror when I woke up a little to realize I had been admiring Mike Greenberg. These kinds of guilty little crushes happen to me all the time, as you’ll see under the jump. How about you, lovely readers? You got them too, right?

Joey Porter: Sucker-puncher, all-around jerk...attractive man. Alas.
Jared Allen: When Good Girls Love Bad Boys
The Minnesota Vikings traded away a first round pick and two third round picks to get Jared Allen from the Kansas City Chiefs last week. (And they still managed to get the Booty in the draft.) His contract could be worth up to $74 million over six years if he reaches certain incentives, including a guaranteed $31,000,069. (His jersey number is 69.) The signing bonus was $15.5 million. (He had 15.5 sacks last year). He is 26 years old, 6’6″, 270 lbs., he used to compete in rodeos and he owns riding horses. All the other hot, and not so hot, stats and information after the jump… Continue reading
Playoff Hotties: We’re Going to Miss You in About a Week Edition
In no particular order, let’s take a look at the boys we probably won’t be seeing much of in two or three games!
Denver: Kleiza!
To sum up the Denver defense:
THIS! IS! DENvahh fuck it.
Well, to be fair, Linas always plays hard.
Nom nom nom…I mean, uh. If you’re into that sort of thing.
EPL: Or as I like to call it, the Hottie Premier League
Football is starting up once again over in England, and of course that means we have to review the hotties that abound back in the Mother Land.
So grab your Guinness, your fish and chips (yeah, I’ve never been to England, so I have no idea what else they eat), and your favorite EPL team’s kit, and join me after the jump. Continue reading
Golden Grain Goodness: Hotties of the Milwaukee Brewers
In these steamy, sweltering days of summer, what’s better on a hot day than some baseball and a Brew(er)?
After the jump, a 19-pack of Brewer tallboys.
Brady Quinn
Brady Quinn was in fine form for the August cover of Men’s Health magazine. For a funny take on this (funnier than my take anyways), go on down to With Leather. But then, come back!
More pictures after the jump. (FYI: I didn’t shrink the pics – I wanted to leave them in their splendid glory for you guys.) Continue reading
Cotto v. Judah: Scoping the Hotties
Tonight, boxing fans will be gathering in droves to watch Miguel Cotto take on Zab “Super” Judah. Who’s going to win? I don’t know, I can barely remember what time the match is. For all the deets, go to East Side Boxing.
Howevah, if all you want is to see cute boys with nice bodies, follow me…
Blog Bracketologists – Working the Long Weekend
When we announced “The Hot Blogger Bracket: A call to arms. And abs.“, in our wildest dreams we could not have hoped for such a response. Not only were we overwhelmed by the sheer number of you who answered our call, we have been completely swept away by talent in all of the tournament entries.
Quite simply, you guys are amazing.
Now comes the hard part.
The Hot Blogger Bracket: A call to arms. And abs.
Bracket season has come and gone. The draft was ten years ago in internets time. What’s a number-crunching sports fan to do?
Never fear. The Ladies… proudly present: The 2007 Hot Blogger Bracket!
How This Will Work:
1. You have to be a guy. (Sorry, girls; for objectification of the fairer sex we direct you to the majority of our compatriots in the sidebar.)
2. You have to run or contribute substantially to a sports blog. (Exactly what constitutes “substantial” will be determined on a case-by-case basis by the Ladies…, and not open to appeals.)
3. You will submit one (1) recent photo, of you, in focus, that gives a good look at your face and any other assets you wish to emphasize, and one (1) link to a post you feel best represents your superiority as a writer.
4. The Ladies… will spend what’s sure to be a delightful few days judging your sweet asses, and come up with a field, the size of which will be a multiple of four and determined by the quantity and quality of entries.
5. We’ll post our choices in bracket form, and here’s where the real fun begins. Voting for each round will take a couple days. Cheating, shenanigans, and ballot-stuffing are encouraged, especially if they’re undertaken in a blatant and hilarious manner. We remind all entrants that we are susceptible to flattery.
6. Repeat as needed until the champion emerges, to be showered with florid prose (by us) and mocked roundly (by the losers) until next year. Given proper incentive, we may even scare up a couple prizes.
And that’s it. Please direct all submissions to ladiesdotdotdot@gmail.com. You have until 11:59 PM PDT, Friday, May 11.
Go.
*(subject to change without notice at our whim. girls are fickle. affirmed.)