We’re going to try something new here: After this introductory paragraph, I’ve got 50 words to fill you in on all the Opening Day happenings from around the Majors. For the record, I’ll count a game’s score as one word (so “2-1” is one word). Here we go!
Reds phone didn't help; Mets won.
Lee lost; Rangers won.
Lopez homered x2, DBacks win.
Postponed, snow.
Postponed, rain.
Fish outhit Nats for win.
Moneybathia lost.
3 hits not enough.
Hallady held off Tigers.
Upside-down Cubs won.
Fast CF homered in win.
Artsy! Dodgers won.
Cute kid saw Angels win.
Ladies... 
Nice use of the semi colon!
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That little boy is oddly pensive for a kid that probably got to skip school, go to Opening Day, AND had his team win.
I said 50 words after Motte blew the save but I can’t repeat them here.