Hot Stove Hotties

Each week this Hot Stove season, we’ll look at some done deals and juicy rumors involving our favorite MLB hotties. If you want a comprehensive rundown of rumors, go to MLBTR. If you want the pretty, stay right here!

The Royals took the spotlight this week by trading for speedy center fielder Coco Crisp. Kansas City gave up Ramon “RamRam” Ramirez, a reliever who throws a “power change” (seriously) and had a great 2008 season. He also has a perfectly spherical face, which makes me smile every time. Here are Coco and RamRam in their new uniforms.

Coco Crisp, the newest Royal; Ramon Ramirez, the newest Red Sock.

Coco Crisp, the newest Royal; Ramon Ramirez, the newest Red Sock.

I can’t wait to see Crisp in action in Kansas City, so I took the liberty of creating a visual interpretation of how that will look.

It will look EXACTLY like this.

It will look EXACTLY like this.

Some of the most highly anticipated signings still haven’t happened since our last HSH update: Jake Peavy, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, A.J. Burnett, and Derek Lowe still haven’t signed anywhere. Superagent Scott Boras is still asking way too much money (over way too many years) for free agent Jason Varitek.

Some horrible news for Phils fans – Chase F’ing Utley is having hip surgery, and will be out of commission for 4-6 months. Yikes. The Phillies are saying they will not go out and find a replacement 2nd baseman, so I’m not sure how that will turn out until Chutley gets back.

WFC Chutley wont be back for a while.

WFC Chutley won't be back for a while.

This week also gave us our first Random Injury of the winter: The Dodgers’ Chad Billingsley slipped on some ice at his home and broke his leg. He claims he’ll be good to go by Spring Training but I call shenanigans. Look for the Dodgers to get a little busier in the starting pitching market to find a replacement.

More like SAD Billingsley.

More like SAD Billingsley.

A deal that seems imminent: The Royals could deal super-awesome-human Mark Teahen to the Cubbies for…someone. The names mentioned most are reliever Sean Marshall, 2nd baseman Mike Fontenot, and outfielder Felix Pie. Either (or both?) of the first two seem most likely, but I had to mention Pie so I could use this goofy picture:

Holy crap!

Holy crap!

But…if Fontenot departs from the Cubs, whose head will DLee pet after wins? Teahen is much too tall to fill this role.

How stinking cute!

How stinking cute!

Lastly, Mike Mussina has pitched his last. I tip my cap to Moose for a pretty sterling career. Joe Posnanski had some pretty interesting numbers and thoughts on his blog about Moose’s career.

Let the Moose for HoF campaigns commence!

Let the "Moose for HoF" campaigns commence!

And one random item for you: Did you put this piano in the woods? If so…bravo.

8 thoughts on “Hot Stove Hotties

  1. Awesome illustration – the Royals could make those their 4th uniforms!

    Not Teahen – I won’t stand for it!! We’d better get some total awesomeness in return to replace him! And Pie isn’t awesome.

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  3. Michelle, I know. It’s hard to think about trading someone who is as awesome a person (and as versatile a player) as Teahen is. And I can’t shake the mental image of the .083 BA that Pie had in Iowa for much of last season.

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