Hit & Run: Philly Phun

Today’s H&R is gonna be quick and dirty, coming at ya all GordonShumway style from the Philadelphia airport. I have precisely 20 minutes to put together some hottie tidbits- so my selections today are coming straight off the top of my head. After six days of baseball games, my attention span is running short anyway- so play along while I randomly skip around the sporting world.

* First off, have to give some love to dirty sexy hottie Aaron “Bacon Pants” Rowand for putting on a show against the Braves over the weekend- including a spectacular home run and an even more spectacularly crazy catch in the outfield that saved our bacon (ahem) and helped clear the way (along with a giant 3-run homer by cutie Ryan Howard) for the Phillies’ 5-3 victory over Atlanta. All despite some horrific baserunning by Pat “Slowcamotive” Burrell.

2nd place in the NL East means we’re coming for you, Mets!

* And then there’s golf hottie Sergio “Make It Rain… With Spit” Garcia, who found yet another new and exciting way to lose a major when he signed an incorrect scorecard on Saturday, DQing him from the PGA Championship. Never trust a guy named “Boo”, Sergio- it’s doubtful he’s functionally literate, much less able to keep up with scoring a tourney properly.

Fortunately, hottie Tiger “Make It Rain… With Birdies” Woods stepped right in to claim the victory.

* Scott “I Say You Have A Beautiful Body, Please Hold It Against Me” Podsednik was apparently claimed off waivers by the crosstown Chicago Cubs on Friday… but negotiations to close the deal are now apparently D.O.A. What a shame- he would have looked lovely in Cubbie pinstripes.

* And of course I can’t close out without mentioning win #15 racked up by Josh “Modesty Ain’t My Middle Name” Beckett on Saturday– which puts him at #1 in all of baseball. (OK, Lackey got #15, too… but Beckett got there first!) Plus, as a bonus, Jonathan “Crazy Cajun Closer” Papelbon got the save. And I want to lodge a formal request to get Kason “Typo” Gabbard back from Texas- they can have Gagne back.


This entry was posted in Golf, Hit and Run, MLB, Texas Gal by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

36 thoughts on “Hit & Run: Philly Phun

  1. 2nd place in the NL East means we’re coming for you, Mets!

    First, thanks to the Phillies for beating the Braves last night.

    Second, I’m not worrying too much about the Phils. They always seem to find a way to trip themselves up.

    Kason “Typo” Gabbard has come down with dreaded “forearm stiffness”. This, for a guy who’s had four surgeries already, is not good news.

  2. steagles, Cole’s haircut is…it’s just…there are no words. it’s THAT lovely.

    …and I really do think I love Bacon more and more every time I watch a Phillies game.

    Can’t wait for those Mets!

    Finally, is there any way *I* can claim Podsednik off waivers?

  3. Are you people kidding me? I hate Cole’s new haircut. HATE it. Like, “throw myself on the ground and kick and scream and cry” hate it.

    And think about it: He cut his hair just before they lost that heartbreaker to the Brewers on the 4th. Bring back the shag!

  4. Clare…you bring up a good point. A great point with the linked photo. (don’t tell jolemamels I’m lusting after her pitcher, k?)

    I still like the new haircut.

  5. Oh boy, a new haircut… too bad I can only afford nosebleed tickets every time I go. I would have loved to have been close enough to smell it…. I mean, see it….

  6. I was at the PGA this past week, and let me just say that while most golfers are not THAT attractive, there are plenty of hotties out there other than Sergio and Tiger (Sergio is short – at least for me, and Tiger is definitely all muscle, but I like a little bit of teddy bear in there somewhere)

    Paul Casey, English hottie:

    Adam Scott, Aussie hottie:

    Camilo Villegas, Columbian hottie (named hot bachelor by People in 2006):

    Bubba Watson (UGA grad and personal favorite, but can’t find any good pics…def. cute in person!)

    Charles Howell III (if you like skinny guys with muscular forearms)

  7. Ah-hah! I thought I had pics of him with the hat off – these are from Thursday’s pregame. This haircut is WAY better.

    And it’s too bad Coley wasn’t pitching Thursday night- otherwise, we would have gotten nice Cole-In-The-Rain pictures, like this one of a wet Bacon:

  8. oh- and completely agree, JawjaGirl. I did a whole huge post of my week at the US Open, complete with a ton of hottie pictures. And we collectively all did a big post on golf hotties for the Masters as well. There are LOADS of beautiful boys playing golf.

  9. I have no pics of Wet!Dobbs – I have Wet!Werth, Wet!Howard, Wet!Myers even Wet!GrandpaJamie (who was the lone guy sitting out from underneath the dugout roof… he just sat on the bench by himself in the rain).

    Clare and I were down in 115, row 2 — if we would have known you were there, chasevid, we totally would have met up for a beer. Did you see the cute Bacon shirts they had for sale?

  10. Oh man, nice! My sister, mom, and I were up in 4-something…sometimes you gotta go with the 8 dollar tickets, haha.

    I DID see the Bacon shirts…I wouldn’t rock one, but I got a good giggle out of them.

    Any chance either of the two of you will be at the 27th or 29th Mets game?

  11. chasevid, I don’t know if you go to a lot of games, but if you do, is that where you normally sit? If so, we’re probably, like totally BFF booing a-hole fans of opposing teams. And zooming in on Dobbs’ sweet ass while he’s playing third. I mean, that’s what the 400 level is all about, right?

    ::sigh:: As much as I DON’T miss the Vet, I sure do miss the 700 level.

  12. Do NOT even get me started about Eric Gag-me. (And not in a good way.) I hope I’m tuned in the next time he comes into a game at Fenway, when surely he will be lustily booed.

    Speaking of lust, Adam Scott is not merely hot. He is in a whole other stratosphere. The man OOZES sex.

    Speaking of the Fenway faithful, tune in tonight to watch John Lester’s Fenway return – feel good story of the year for the Sox and he’s cute to boot.

  13. My my…I love me some Aaron Rowand, but I always thought he was just kinda sorta cute before. But Wet!Rowand? Changed. My. Mind. Now he’s not just the amazing fielder with the funny gold chain, he has finally transformed into Baconpants for me. Thanks TexasGal!

    Oh, and I’m a huge fan of Cole’s new haircut-I called my best friend earlier this week when I first noticed it just so we could squee.

  14. Turning the female baseball fan populace into Bacon Pants fans one at a time! WHEE! He’s just so meaty and delicious. And those forearms? Wowza.

    And I consider it every American’s duty to watch Jon Lester tonight — except for Yankees fans, because everyone knows they are un-American.

  15. Ok im a little late – but I would just like to say we tried to get into the game on Sunday, only to end up watching it in McFadden’s instead – which was kind of crappy, BUT the beer is cheaper in there.

    As for bacon pants – all my friends think he is hideous. And I use the term “friend” lightly, obviously.

  16. that last picture of cole with the mullet….he looks completely buffed out. i like it.
    i saw cole’s haircut, and i enjoyed it.
    i’m not gonna lie, the first thing i thought of was you ladies

  17. I’m so glad i stumbled upon this website! I have like no friends to share my love for baseball with! They all think it’s boring. And all this talk of how hot the Phil’s are, oh my gosh, i’m so coming back to this site hahaha. I’ve been admiring the sweet asses on that team for some time now, especially “Bacon Pants” as you guys call him LOL. This site it delicious!

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