10 Things Overheard at Wrigley Field, Cubs-Cards Style
10. I hate you, Scott Spiezio!
9. Dunnn-cannn… Dunnn-cannn… Dunnn-cannn… You suck!
8. I need tee-pee for my Poo Holes, Alby.
7. Hey, Michael Barrett! Over here- this girl wants to do you!
6. Scott Spiezio, I know you like dudes! (same guy as #10)
The list continues after the jump- some foul language included, so those with delicate sensibilities beware.
5. 61! Hey, #61! All these girls think you’ve got a great ass, 61! Did you hear me? YOU’VE GOT A GREAT ASS, DUDE.
4. Scott Speizio, get off the field! I can smell you from up here! (same guy, again)
3. [sex noises from women’s bathroom stall at Murphy’s]
2. Sex in the bathroom! [clap clap, clap clap clap] (the whole bar, upon their exit)
1. Fuck you, Scott Spiezio! And your mom! (yup, still the same guy)
And what would a baseball report be without pictures of cute boys – starting with the loveliest new Cubbie on the block, so cute I can’t even hold it against him that he’s wearing my darling Todd Walker’s #7 jersey- Ryan “The Riot” Theriot:
And to show I hold no ill will for his 3-run game-winning homer in the 10th, here’s Alby Poo-Holes himself:
Ladies... 
Pictures of baseball, but not of the bar sexers? (shakes head)
I’m sensing the one guy has some hostility towards Spiezio.
I went to an Angels-Twins game back in 2000 and he gave me his batting gloves, so unless he does something completely stupid like beat his wife, he’s OK in my book.
Good grief, I feel old after realizing that it was almost 7 years ago that I got his batting gloves.
Start Theriot, yeah!
[/alec empire]
When those two came out of the bathroom, I didn’t even think to snap a picture. But I had no problem joining in the “Sex-in-the-bath-room” cheer (or the “clap-clap-clapclapclap” either). Next time, I’ll do better.
I still don’t know what that guy’s problem with Spiezio was- I think he just had a crush, and it went sour when Scott didn’t return his affections.
I thought I’d wake my roommates up laughing at Tim Kurkjian’s affectless voiceover calling Ryan Theriot “The Riot.”
Next time, I’ll do better.
If you can be highly entertaining without smutty photos, you just can’t get better. You’re the tops.
You mean The Riot’s picture doesn’t qualify as “smutty”? Dang- I need to get in the game!
Is that Tyler Johnson who has the cute butt? Cause…..yeah he does.
Those with delicate sensibilities do not read this blog.
This blog is bringing back the ellipsis. Huzzah!
Dude- the ellipsis NEVER LEFT. It just lurked in the background like that guy in “Every Breath You Take”.
If they say the ellipsis never left/Then why’s everybody all up on our shi-i-i-i-it…
I think it has to do with Spezio’s crappy band and terrible facial hair. What is that, a red soul piece? In the words of Ron White, “things that make ya go…bbbrbrbrbruhhh.”
no photos of cliff floyd? now, there’s a great ass.
I will not argue- Cliff has a GREAT ass.
Texas Gal – you mean, Andy Sommers?
Good shout out on the Theriot pic…though it is a bit smutty, he should be starting from here on out. Go Cubs!