Taking shelter in the basements of the MLB

For one more day, it’s the time of year when there’s nothing on but baseball (apparently some people think that’s a bad thing?), and some interesting MLB divisional races are revealing themselves to us, like a sweet Christmas gift unwrapping itself.

No, not THAT kind of Christmas gift!

No, not THAT kind of Christmas gift!

Metsy already told you about some of the MLB divisional races earlier today, so now we’ll explore the flipside – probable last-place teams…after the jump.

We hear a lot about who is leading baseball’s six divisions, but let’s not forget the battle for the basement that is happening at the same time. Given Tampa Bay’s success this year, it’s pretty clear that finishing last and therefore getting high draft picks can make a very, very big difference. (And if your team‘s front office used to be helmed by Allard Baird, your team gets top draft picks every year and is still bad. Gads.)

Who will the 6 worst teams in baseball be? Here’s how I see it goin’ down:

AL East: Baltimore

Toronto and Baltimore are the candidates for last in this division, and I see Baltimore winning (err, losing) this one. AJ Burnett and Roy Halladay are in a battle for team supremacy, and this can only mean good things for the Jays for the rest of the season, at least when it comes to avoiding the cellar.

Is it wrong that I think Roys kind of cute?

Is it wrong that I think Roy's kind of cute?

AL Central: Cleveland

Cleveland’s in last place now, and I think that’s where they’ll finish. They’re currently 3 games behind the Royals, and the two teams still have seven games against each other. Barring some insane hot streak by either team (or a crazy dozen-game losing streak by Kansas Cit–oh wait), this one will be close, but ultimately Cleveland will come out on the bottom…

I am NOT going to say anything about Grady being on the bottom...never.

I am NOT going to say anything about Grady being on the bottom...never.

AL West: Seattle

This one’s a no-brainer. Seattle has been disappointing its fans horribly all season, and will continue until the season is over.

AHEM. Excuse me. Jeff Clement.

AHEM. Excuse me. Jeff Clement.

NL East: Washington

Another easy one. Braves fans can be grateful that Washington has been this bad so fewer people notice how un-good Atlanta’s season has been. At this writing, the Nats have the worst winning percentage in baseball. If they keep that up, Washington fans* can console themselves in next June’s draft when their team gets to pick first.

*if those exist

Tim Redding concisely sums up his teams season so far.

Tim Redding concisely sums up his team's season so far.

NL Central: Pittsburgh

The Pirates and Reds are in a dead heat for last place, with only a half a game separating them right now. But a deep sense of tradition compels me to predict that Pittsburgh will be alone in last by season’s end.

Zach Duke looks up at the rest of the division

Zach Duke looks up at the rest of the division

NL West: San Diego

This wasn’t an easy decision, as San Diego and San Fran are vying for the bottom spot in the division about which I care the least. To be totally honest, a coin flip helped me choose the Padres, who currently trail the Giants by five games. Man that division sucks.

Oh no! Not last place!!

"Oh no! Not last place!!"

Programming note: check back often during the Olympics (and also Fourth Place Medal, because Chitown Chick is awesome), as we will have a metric crap-ton of Olympic coverage, replete with lots of hotties. Happy Thursday!

This entry was posted in Miss Minda, MLB by Minda. Bookmark the permalink.

About Minda

I hail from Nebraska, and I like to take pictures. I love the Royals more than what the Surgeon General recommends (the recommendation, in case you need to know, is about 4.5 milligrams per day for persons of average height and weight).

6 thoughts on “Taking shelter in the basements of the MLB

  1. Damn it! The Reds can’t even win last place! :P

    And curse you Minda for putting such dirty thoughts about Grady in my head! I just know that it will pop back up in the most inappropriate time. :)

  2. Anthony, you could be right. I don’t know what I’d do without regular doses of Dusty Baker stupidity…but I suspect I wouldn’t be so amused by him if he were MY team’s manager.

    MK, thanks! That’s really good to know!!

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