Is Mercury in retrograde? Have the stars knocked back a few too many cosmos (I am so sorry) at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? I swear, I leave the internets alone for FIVE HOURS, and look at what happens:
Quack Attack, off the tracks: Oregon 24, Arizona 34. Dennis Dixon is out of commission and Oregon is out of the national title game. I wouldn’t call myself a Pac-10 homer by a long shot, but I’ve been watching a lot of Duck football this year, Dixon in particular, and whatever your allegiances, you can’t argue they’re a hell of a lot of fun to watch. That said: Losing the linchpin of your entire offense is one thing, but as far as I know Dennis didn’t maim any of his own teammates on the way off the field. A defensive collapse of this magnitude against Arizona is pretty much unforgivable, though not unexpected in the larger picture of CFB 2K7: Year of The Hell?.
Oh, Dennis. Your Crazy Eyes only make you more alluring.
A-Rod, pinstripe bound? Looks that way. (Could he be gagged, as well?)
I’m told he’s on the left.
And but of course….Barry Bonds, indicted today. Yeah, no way I’m touching this one. Except to say that I’m really grateful the feds attended so diligently to two unwinnable desert wars and the plummeting dollar and our crumbling infrastructure and laughable public education, health care, and Social Security systems before going after this guy. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
….wait a goshdamn second, that’s not his body hair in that bottom corner, right? Sing along if you know the words: DO NOT WANT.
Quoth our darling Texas Gal of Bonds, Rodriguez, and the Yankees: “Couldn’t happen to nicer folks.” *snicker* Isn’t that really the mark of the sort of day we just endured? That our morning roundup in celebration of the male form has a 66% douchebag population? Let’s do some palate cleansing:
My veryown Tennessee Vawls are ranked 7th in the country….in men’s basketball. (Yes, we’re still getting used to it ourselves.) Why did I bring this up? Well, here’s points leader Ramar Smith’s O-face:
Lie back, and think of
England San Antonio.