So you’re on deck. You’ve swung the bat a few times with the donut, you’ve tightened (and re-tightened) your batting gloves, you’ve tarred your bat and helmet up nice and good, and your kick-ass music is playing out across the ballpark as you step in to the batter’s box. You’re ready to do battle with that good-for-nothin’ pitcher… and then you see this:
Oh my sweet lord.
How the hell is a batter supposed to concentrate with that stare drilling down from the mound? Never mind the intimidation factor, a pitcher’s glare is flat out HOT. It is part predatory, part arrogance, part master craftsman; all testosterone, all serious – and it is undeniably sexy. And the piercing stare from a closer? Well, you might as well turn out the lights and go home, because it is GAME OVER. The intensity, the attitude, the single-minded focus… that glare says, “I am a man. I am here to do business. And I am about to rock your world.” Please, sir- may I have some more?
Try to resist the lineup of pitchers’ stares after the jump…
Cole Hamels, Philadelphia Phillies
Jake Peavy, San Diego Padres
Dustin McGowan, Toronto Blue Jays
Justin Verlander, Detroit Tigers
Chris Capuano, Milwaukee Brewers
Jon Garland, Chicago White Sox
Huston Street, Oakland A’s
Justin Germano, San Diego Padres
Boone Logan, Chicago White Sox
Josh Beckett, Boston Red Sox
Mike Mussina, New York Yankees
Kyle Lohse, Philadelphia Phillies
Barry Zito, San Francisco Giants
Jeff Suppan, Milwaukee Brewers
Dontrelle Willis, Florida Marlins
Noah Lowry, San Francisco Giants
Scott Proctor, Los Angeles Dodgers
Trevor Hoffman, San Diego Padres
Jonathan Papelbon, Boston Red Sox
Yes, he’s in here twice. That glare deserves a double shot.
Ladies... 
No one’s glare is better/scarier than Joel Zumaya’s. Although, I barely remember it… sigh.
Papyboo has the best, Children of the Corn, stare-down I’ve seen in ages.
Love him!
Well as long as it’s not a Red Sox or Yankees player then the stare would be hot.
Papelbon FTW, no question, ever.
You need a more recent picture of McGowan with the mutton chops.
I can’t find Cole intimidating. He glare just makes me melt inside.
I wish more of these guys were hanging their tongues out, though. THAT is the best- goofy and serious at the same time. Thanks Huston ;)
And HELLOOOO Noah Lowry. Why are you still a Giant? I thought I asked you to give yourself to the Phillies? Maybe next year? Ok.
Holy Hump Day Hotties, Batman! Those pics made my birthday the best one yet!!
I don’t like him at all, but this isn’t complete without Andy Pettitte’s glare.
It’s pretty awesome.
Verlanderlay Industries’ look is very casual, all “Yes, I’m about to throw you a 102 mph fastball, what of it?”
No Billy Wagner? MC, what happened?
Happy Birthday Caroline!
Pretty stares, yes. But intimidating? It doesn’t get more smoldering that John Smoltz.
Oh man, I’ll take the Hamels/Lowry platter with a side of Verlander, please.
MMM, baseball.
cinco ocho, thats my boy, between erik the red and papalbon…ohyeah
No Billy Wagner? MC, what happened?
These are Texy’s choices. But, Billy is of course a great candidate to be up here.
Mal, I’m with you. Cole is too cute to be intimidating.
I know he was once of the evil empire, but I always found Andy Pettite’s stare over the glove to be smoking, make-me-melt-off-my-couch hot.
All of these are lovely…*swoon* But, as much as it pains me to agree with a Mets fan (Metschick), this list is not complete without Andy Pettitte’s “grrr” face. Need proof? Check this out: ( http://yankeeschick.mlblogs.com/yankees_fans_are_the_true/images/pettite.jpg ) Also, I’d like to propose a candidate for the next Hump Day Hottie – Neal Cotts (pitcher, ChiCubs). And yeah, Papelbon really creeps me out – does he even have any eyelashes?
Lemme just add one more thing, in honor of all the Hump Day Hotties: http://sports.webshots.com/photo/1052456704040434734jEQFPV
WOWZA!! (If he can do that, I wonder what else he can do…)
Thanks for the great pics girls!
ohhh, Yankee, I love that stretch.
No way would I put Billy “I Hate You And Your Giant Wad of Dip” Wagner on here.
It took all my willpower just to put one Yankee in the lineup.
When Papelbon stares in I get a Papel-boner…eventhough I’m a lady. He’s downright dreamy!
I just…He…God, Cole looks good.
And I know this is inappropriate but…If Huston gave me that look, I would have no choice but to straddle his face on the mound. C’MON NOW.
Not to derail things- but everyone sees Capuano’s effin’ amazing forearms, right? And Papyboo, DTrain and Proctor’s are looking fine, as well.
agreed that jonathan wins.
here’s another good one of josh:
Metchick, I’m in total agreement:
“I don’t like him at all, but this isn’t complete without Andy Pettitte’s glare.
It’s pretty awesome.”
It’s the sexiest thing ever. And I’m not even a Yankees fan!
so Jonathon Papelbon is without a doubt one of the greatest closers, but does anybody else realize HE IS A TOOL?!?!?!?!?! HOW CORNY CAN YOU GET?!?!? Seriously,I know of Sox fans who get embarrassed by his interviews. I can’t even stand to hear his voice! He is the gayest heterosexual on this earth!
Jon Garland is the best looking by far!!!!
C’mon, how can you leave Roy Halladay off this list?