Advent Calendar of Hotness: Day 14

Apparently I’ll be your resident soccer-hottie provider during the Advent Calendar of Hotness. But that’s ok by me, since the pool of potential yummitude is pretty big. They wear a lot less clothes then football players, have gorgeous thighs, tooshes and abs and since soccer is bigger in europe, the paparazzi photos abound. 

So today’s hottie is frenchman Thierry Henry. A player for the 1998 World Cup-winning French National Team, Henry played in Italy, for Premier League side Arsenal and in Spain with Barcelona. But happily for us American Ladies… he’s recently brought his smile (and talent) to Red Bull New York of the MLS.

Henry might not knock your socks off like Marco Boriello did, but there’s something about the facial parentheses he gets when he smiles that just makes him so darn adorable.

Follow the jump for more of that killer smile as well as some shirtless action.

(Out of Order) Advent Calendar of Hotness Day 10

I completely failed to post yesterday, so pardon my out of order post. But never say we withheld a hottie from you. So a day late and a dollar short, here’s Day 10’s hottie Iker Casillas.

He’s the captain of both Real Madrid and the Spanish National Team and he’s a goalie. He’s the most capped goalkeeper in UEFA history, the most capped player in Spanish National Team history and the most capped goalkeeper in Real Madrid history – and he’s just 30 years old. 

Before we talk about how damn cute Iker is, I have to mention what a damn amazing goalie he is.

Here’s a bit of his “greatest hits:”

All those saves are sexy as hell, but he’s got the mug to back it up.

Follow the jump for more Spanish soccer studery

Advent Calendar of Hotness: Day 6

 

I thought I’d change it up a bit and give you today’s hottie as a bit of an after-work, pre-dinner apertif.

I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t try to ever-expand your knowledge of world soccer hotties, so today’s ACoH entrant is AS Roma’s Marco Boriello.

LScruff, a suit, a mischievous grin and those adorable eye crinkles? Be still my Going-To-Italy-in-May heart!

Jump with me to see what else is in store…

Spain Ignore the Dame’s Request, Win Euro 2008

I didn’t mention Rosetti was going to ref, did I? We need a refs’ edition of tour o’ sex.

One goal, one piece of shoddy defending, one missing headband and one keeper who didn’t beat a man to death.

Live Blogging the Euro 2008 Final a.k.a. Spain, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes

Need a reason to support the Germans today? Oliver Bierhoff. Done.

Most overused post title ever? Why, yes.

Regardless, here are three reasons why Spain can kiss my blessed behind:

1. My pre-tourney predictions had Spain going out in the quarters. At literally every single stage of this thing I’d be all ‘Spain? pfffft! NEVER!’ and then they’d go beat Italy and make me look like a complete dumbass. Looking over our guest Ladies’ predictions now, only Martha tipped them to win the thing, actually. Everyone else had them going out in the quarter like I did.
2. I can’t really get behind a team that has Aragones at the helm. Sorry. Not in a million years.
3. Ramos, Puyol and Torres all make the case for the importance of a decent haircut. Torres, you especially. Your hair can really tell me how my ass tastes.

Join me and the ladies over at This Is Extra Time for the live-blog at 2:30PM ET.

Live Blogging Russia v Spain a.k.a. Power, Please Stay On

A child, I tell you. Not a day past puberty.

Russia and Spain today in the semifinal.

I have exactly nothing invested in this match and so don’t really have much to say other than three things:

1. That Andrei Arshavin fellow looks about 12. Hair included.
2. The power better not go out again or I’m punching someone and then taking a bat to my TV.
3. Guus Hiddink. That’s all I’m saying: Hiddink. That and the Spanish are a bit overdue for a crashing out, don’t you think?

Live-blogging the match once again over at This Is Extra Time at 2PM ET. Join me and such.

The Dame’s Football Tour o’ Sex: Euro 2008 – Hotness XI – Pt. II

This is Rustu Recber.

When a lady finds herself subscribing to the ‘I started it; I might as well finish it’ philosophy to get through a match or is reduced her lowest possible ‘well, someone better take of their shirt, at least…’ moment, there are issues with a tournament.

Especially when no one does.

[Dame’s note: Or does and is wearing an undershirt.]

Italy v Spain a.k.a. Canna’s Not There

Italy will square off against Spain in today’s fourth quarterfinal at Euro.

Will David Villa and his penciled in facial hair manage to run up the score like he’s been doing all tourney long?

Only time will tell.

The ladies are live-blogging the match once again over at This Is Extra Time at 2:30PM ET.

Live Blogging Netherlands v Russia a.k.a. Do NOT Touch Robin

Don’t stretch too hard now, Porcelain.

The Netherlands will take on Russia in today’s third quarterfinal at Euro.

Robin van Persie here found it in his fragile little bones to manage 90 minutes against Romania the other day. He may very well crack at any moment. In fact, I’d advise Van Basten to do the wise thing and wrap the boy in bubblewrap now while the going’s good.

As for the Russians, they’re the reason Freddie Ljungberg’s not in this anymore so they can pretty much kiss my ass. Although, they do have nutter Guus Hiddink at the helm so I suppose I shouldn’t count them out just yet.

Join me over at This Is Extra Time at 2:30PM ET for the live-blog.

Live Blogging Croatia v Turkey a.k.a. Do It for Bilic

Bilic is my new favourite person.

Croatia will be taking on Turkey in today’s second quarterfinal at Euro.

Advantage Turkey: The Turks are psychos. Yes, that is indeed my expert analysis of this side. Half their team is either suspended or injured however — a massive roadblock, obviously.

Advantage Croatia: Slaven Bilic, their hunk of a manager. Hotness like that never lets you down.

The girls will be live-blogging the match again over at This Is Extra Time starting at 2:30 ET.

Join us if you’re feeling up to it.

Live Blogging Germany v Portugal a.k.a. Kill him, Lehmann

Waaaaaa!!!!

The knockout rounds start at Euro today with Portugal taking on Germany in the first quarterfinal.

Of course, whenever Portugal is involved there’s always the chance that Cristiano might finish the night off bawling like a two year old which is always fun to watch. I’m personally hoping that Xtina attempts the ol’ winky-wink of ’06 causing Jens Lehmann to just strangle him to death right then and there.

Join the girls as we live-blog the match over at This Is Extra Time at 2:30 ET.

Au Revoir, France.

Eva obviously had a make-France-lose machine in her hands. Killll herrrrr!!!!

Au revoir, Thierry.

Au revoir, Coupet.

Au revoir, Broken Paddy V.

Live Blogging Spain v Sweden a.k.a. No One Mention France

Fernando and Sergio: They really do bring it upon themselves.

Sweden plays Spain today at Euro.

Sergio Ramos and Fernando Torres play for Spain.

The other day, David Villa, who also plays for the Spain, hugged Fernando Torres so vigorously after scoring a goal that he broke his finger.

Yes, these dudes are that serious and, er, passionate.

Join your girl today as she live-blogs the borderline homoerotic-ness that is La Seleccion over at This Is Extra Time.

EDIT: And now we’re live-blogging Greece v Russia as well – 2:30 EST. Drop in if you’ve got a minute.

[Dame’s note: And I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT LES BLEUS. I’m serious, if one more post titled ‘Hup Holland Hup’ pops up in my newsreader, I’m officially killing someone.]

The Dame’s Football Tour o’ Sex: Euro 2008 – Hotness XI – Pt. I

Ouch.

Euro’s still happening.

I’m still watching.

[Dame’s note: In fact, I’ve got one eye on the TV right now. Spain v Russia – 75 minutes in and David Villa’s pulled a hat-trick for the Spanish. He skipped straight into the open arms of a grinning Fernando Torres after his third goal. Straight out of a telenovella, I tell you.]

Euro action and the Dame’s Euro Hotness XI after the jump….

The Ladies… Euro Roundtable o’ Doom – Pt. II

Portugal plays Turkey tonight. Crissie better take off his shirt.

Euro ’08 will finally get rolling today.

I’ve got the ladies back around the table and we’re talkin’ a whole lotta smack.

The Ladies… Euro Roundtable o’ Doom – Pt. I

Why wouldn’t you support France? Oh…that.

If you’ve been living in a box in the middle of the Sahara desert for the past month or so, let me fill you in on some marvelous news: the 2008 UEFA European Football Championship starts tomorrow.

Euro ’08 shall see a bunch of footballers commune in Switzerland and Austria for a few weeks to kick a ball round some grass and then take of their shirts.

It’s sure to be a riveting affair.

[Dame’s note: Have fun on vacay England!]

Liveblogging USA v England a.k.a. Supporting Hotness With the Dame

‘Hot ass! Hot ass! Hot ass!’

Yes, I’ve already told you – I’m supporting neither team in this mockery of a match up.

[Dame’s note: If my team’s not playing it’s automatically a mockery, of course.]

The Dame’s Football Tour o’ Sex: USA v England – Previewing the Hotness

Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first.

My boys threw away a 70th minute lead in DC this weekend giving away two goals in one and a half minutes. The ridiculosity began when Marvel Wynne earned DC a penalty by laying a foolish two-handed shove on Quaranta. Robert was also red-carded in extra time for reasons I still don’t quite understand.

The point is Toronto’s undefeated streak is over therefore I shall boo-hoo my way ’til Saturday.

[Dame’s note: And they damn well better win tonight. Toronto play the USL’s Montreal Impact at the newly minted soccer-specific Stade Saputo in Montreal today for CONCACAF Champions League qualifying. MLS won’t even have to try to manufacture – *cough* Columbus *cough* – a rivalry out of this one; it’s crystal clear: I’m Torontonian thus I hate the Habs thus I can easily learn to hate any other Montreal team.]

Now onto the the Yanks who are set to play England at Wembley tomorrow.

Benny will not be bringing the hotness to London unfortunately. Injuries suck.

Hotness helps the Dame decide who she’ll support after the jump…

The Dame’s Football Tour o’ Sex: Winners

A whole weekend of inconsequential football:

Lyon wins Ligue 1 – Fine. Now give us your youthful Frenchies.

Inter wins Serie A – Didn’t watch. I’m sure Ibra sexed it up in that douchy way he always does.

Real Madrid wins La Liga – Played Levante on Sunday as a mere formality. Every time I see someone lift that cup I’m always appalled by how massive the thing is. Robinho’s pretty arms looked like they were having a bit of trouble lifting the damn thing. I also spotted some budding pretty-ness in Levante’s other keeper, Jordi Codina. Casillas is still hotter, of course.

It’s SOOO big!

More things Arsenal didn’t win along with your Victorious Victoria Day hotties…

The Dame’s Football Tour o’ Sex: MLS – Pt. I

So, there you have it – another season in the books. Was it good for you, darlings?

Not so hot on my end, I’ve got to say. I mean, I’ve had better. Dragging myself out of my comfy bed for the final weekend of matches was annoying, sad and felt completely and utterly pointless.

[Dame’s note: If you caught me on any other weekend after February that’d also be the case then so it should hardly come as a shock. After Gallas’s little sit-in at Birmingham the end was in sight.]

A season’s worth of agony and ecstasy culminated in Giggsy slotting one in for United, defiling the precious champs’ cup by laying his scummy little lips on it and then proceeding to hoist the thing high above his head while all his teammates giggled and hopped up and down on the stage thingee behind him.

What a wretched sight.

Aw, crapppppp! Where’s the anti-bacterial spray?

The Dame’s Football Tour o’ Sex: The EPL – Pt. III

Much moronic behaviour churned out in the EPL this weekend by players looking to lose the league for their teams. Manchester United’s Nani, or as I like to refer to him – Cristiano’s friend with benefits (BFFs some might call it, the two once attended an Enrique Iglesias concert together and got to meet the sultry latin crooner backstage – nope, not gay at all), decided it would be a good idea to head-butt West Ham skipper, Lucas Neill, during a must-win match.

Nani, the weasel of a footballer that he is (bandwagon time! weee!), then proceeded to take one of the pussiest dives I’ve ever seen.

The most hilarious part of the whole thing was watching West Ham’s keeper Robert Green come over and try to pull him up off the grass all ‘I cannot believe you’re doing this! You’re a mess, you moron!’

Instant classic.

Dumbass. Lucas, you sir, are still a hottie however.

Hotties and more of the league’s weekend ridiculosity after the jump…