Five For Friday: Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Arse Edition

Why am I so happy when my NHL team is in 12th place? That picture should give you a hint. Five for Friday after the jump, y’all…

I have to do this eventually, I might as well do it now.

Well.

It was supposed to be the Yankees.

It wasn’t.

I’m going to miss you, you know. I’m going to miss that little sliver of hope that the rest of the team would play as well as they’d need to in order to deserve you, and I’m going to miss having someone to believe in every fifth day (or really, every day), and I’m going to miss everything about the way you affected the team and the city and the fans. Hell, I’m not just ‘going to’, I already do.

I’m not saying the Jays have nothing to play for anymore – just that it’s going to feel that way for a while.

So I’ll see you around, I guess.

I don’t know when I’ll be ready to say goodbye.

The Ladies Wax On about Waxing Off

Slash fiction... geddit?

This week’s Waxing Off topic at Deadspin was… disturbing. And gross. And demeaning to the women asked to write about it. If you didn’t read it, here’s the email sent to the women asked to contribute:

Michael Phelps Slash Fiction.
The inspiration for this comes from two sources. First, this post, which is pure nightmare fuel. Then there’s this, about how Phelps is being pursued by Lindsay Lohan (equally terrifying). We’d like to follow things to their logical conclusion, and figure that you guys would be the best to do that. Make it read like an excerpt from a steamy, filthy book. Put Michael Phelps in the situation of your choosing … male on male, male on female, Phelps on llama … the aristocrats! Nothing is too over-the-top or depraved; it’s slash fiction. Let ‘er rip. Keep to 250-350 words, if possible. And don’t forget the short graph at the end about yourself, where you can plug your site and/or projects if you wish.

Here are our collected reactions to this request:

The Race is On: Which Blog Will Review Will Leitch’s “God Save The Fan” First?

Did you know Will Leitch, Mr. Head Sportsblogger, King of Blogfrica, Mattoon’s Native Son, and general bon vivant has a book coming out next week?

It’s called God Save the Fan: How Preening Sportscasters, Athletes Who Speak in the Third Person, and the Occasional Convicted Quarterback Have Taken the Fun Out of Sports (And How We Can Get It Back). Quite a mouthful.

Did you know he also has a fancy book tour heading to a bookstore near you right after the Super Bowl?

Next week? Next month? But that seems so far away! This is blogging in a 24/7 ESPN sports culture and I demand reactions now! If I don’t have the snap judgments of what other bloggers think, how am I going to know what I am supposed to think? Where will all the other book readers express their opinions on “God Save the Fan” on January 22?

Who will have a review up first?

Let’s lay some odds on where the party is going to be.

Welcome to the Vajungle

That’s right. The Ladies… are the Deadspin guest editors this weekend.

You’re welcome to join us. Just look with your eyes, not with your hands.