Hump Day (Retired) Hottie: Mike Modano

On a day when everyone voiced their displeasure over Facebook’s new changes, NHL unrestricted free agent Mike Modano used the platform to announce his retirement after 21 seasons. Obviously, sports reporters had little trouble finding his update in the new-style news feed.

Drafted by Minnesota in the 1988 NHL Draft, Modano spent most of his season with the (North) Stars in Minnesota and Dallas, where he won his only Stanley Cup in 1999. The seven-time All Star finished his career last year with the Detroit Red Wings, but was limited to just 15 points over 40 games on account of injuries. He was just one game shy of having played 1,500 NHL games.

Modano leaves behind an amazing legacy as the all-time top scoring U.S.-born player in goals and assists (561 and 813 respectively) and as a silver medalist for Team USA in the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City. I always admired him for his quiet leadership and the fact that he chose to play for as long as he did in a non-traditional hockey market like Dallas.

Join me after the jump for a little tribute to Mike, complete with a musical salute from a band that also decided to “retire” today.

The NHL Playoffs of Hotness: Round 1

Imagine: if we were writing this 30 years ago, we likely would have included him.

Now that we’ve given away the hardware for this year’s NHL Playoff Beards Awards (props to Raven for her excellent research once again), we bring you the NHL Playoffs of Hotness.

This works just like the NBA edition. Vote for the hockey hottie you love. We’ll narrow down the choices bracket-style over the next couple of weeks. Thanks to our readers for their suggestions on such short notice! Don’t worry: we’ve included a few guys from the Stanley Cup finalists Chicago Blackhawks and Philadelphia Flyers.

You have until Monday at 8pm Eastern to cast your vote. Yes, we’re making our readers work hard these days!

Hump Day Hottie: Dion Phaneuf

Destiny wishes it looked like this.

If I’m going to fill in for Raven, then it’s only appropriate that I bring you a HDH from the NHL.

Life has been a bit more bearable in Bee Land these days. Never mind that pitchers and catchers report in two weeks, Brian Burke made a few moves on the weekend that gave this Leafs fan something to smile about. For one, Vesa Toskala was sent packing to Anaheim in exchange for Jean-Sébastien “What was I thinking showing up on Leno way back when?” Giguère. If that wasn’t enough, defenseman Dion Phaneuf was the pièce de résistance in a seven-player trade between Calgary and Toronto. The addition of Phaneuf brings a much-needed intensity to the Buds not seen since Gary Roberts played in Hogtown (sigh…I miss Gary)

One can only assume the change of scenery will do Phaneuf a world of good. The one-time Norris Trophy finalist has 10 goals and 12 assists in 55 games this season. His projected point total is 32, which is well short of last year’s rather meh 47 point season. Disappointingly as well, he did not make Team Canada’s Olympic roster (which makes it a little hard to watch this ad, but it still gets the blood pumping. And yes, I realize I’ve linked to that before.)

On the upside, he seems happy to be a Leaf. And I’m sure (because he reads this site, yeah…) he’ll be happy to be today’s Hump Day Hottie, too.

Off-Week Diversion: Fantasy Dancing With The Stars Casting Call

The Super Bowl’s not for another week, the Olympics aren’t for another two, and I don’t care about the Pro Bowl.  I think this calls for a post topic that’s completely silly and unrelated to anything, don’t you?  Luckily I’ve been saving one up, ever since I saw this post on one of my favorite dance blogs. For those of you who don’t feel like following the link, all you really need to know is that the title is “I WANT CC SABATHIA TO BE ON DANCING WITH THE STARS.”

Um, you may need to stretch more than that to pull off a tango, CC.

There is usually at least one athlete contestant on DWTS  every season, but none of them has been a professional baseball player.  Ignoring the pragmatic concerns about whether the timing of the DWTS filming would conflict with baseball season (because: silly post), would CC be a good fit for the show?

Pros: Very first contestant from baseball, Yankees would probably encourage it if only to keep him in shape during off season.

Cons: Size (height, too, this is not a fat joke!) might make it difficult to find a compatible partner, might have a hard time getting votes if DWTS fans turn out to be anti-Yankee.

Follows in the Footsteps of: Warren Sapp, Evander Holyfield

But I didn’t stop there!  If scheduling conflicts were not an issue, here are some other contestants I’d like to see on the dance floor.

Hump Day Hottie: Brendan Shanahan

We Ladies are equal-opportunity oglers.  That is, we don’t discriminate when it comes to sports hotties, young or old.  Some of you may consider today’s HDH to be on the old side of the spectrum, but some of us here think he’s quite handsome.

Brendan Shanahan announced that after 21 seasons in the NHL, he was finally hanging up his skates.  What better way to honor his impressive career (Can you say 19 playoff appearances in 21 seasons?) than with a hump day hottie post chronicling his career in hot pictures?

Follow me after the jump for a trip down memory lane.

Inappropriate Fatheads

So I came up with this feature as a new twist to “Caption This!”  See, a coworker and I were looking at Fatheads for no apparent reason.  When you click on one, it will give suggestions for others.  Well this lovely LeBron James Fathead popped up as a suggestion.  We both thought it was sorta inappropriate.  It kind of looks like he’s thrusting his crotch in your face.  So then we thought of some other sports pictures that would make inappropriate/funny Fatheads.  And the idea was born.

Follow me after the jump to see some funny and highly inappropriate Fatheads. 

Monday Morning Manflesh

It’s the dog days of summer and getting moving on Monday morning can be a little rough, so I thought I’d post some pictures to get the heart rate elevated and the blood pumping.

This week, I’m going with some of the lesser known and enjoyed hotties.

Is there a better way to start a week than that?

Hump Day Hotties: Barry Zito and Tim Lincecum

Good morning. Please bear with me as I attempt to explain why I’m the worst Dodgers fan ever.

Prettiness abounds. Hit the jump for more awesomeness.

Hot Stove Hotties: Hamels, Markakis, bad MS Paint

Each week this Hot Stove season, we’ll look at some done deals and juicy rumors involving our favorite MLB hotties. This week was extra-hot.

One of the big stories this week was Cole Hamels. The only two-time Hump Day Hottie in the history of the world signed an extension with the Phillies for 3 years and 20.5 million Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers. And just look at that suit! Is that tie some sort of paisley, or is it…amoeba?

Phils fans get to keep him for three more years.

Gearing up for some big games

I have a few big sporting events coming up. As you may have heard, my Cubs are in the playoffs. Also, I am roadtripping to see my Missouri Tigers take on the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln. Obviously, I need to be dressed well, whether I’m sitting in the last row of Memorial Stadium — yes, my seats are in the last row — or on my couch, stressing through a Cubs game. Join me to shop after the jump.

Best. Sweatshirt. Ever.

A journey in pictures: Kansas City!

After a sweep of the Colorado Rockies, my Kansas City Royals are no longer in last place in the AL Central. (That honor belongs to Cleveland. Here are the standings.) My parents wanted to go to this series, and invited me along. How could I say no? So my camera and I went along to the City of Kansas (and Missouri).

Seriously, Tuesday was a PERFECT baseball day in KC. I even got to meet some of our readers!

Hump Day Hottie: Suits

Our previous foray into athletes in suits seemed to suggest that… we love seeing athletes in suits. I mean, we love seeing non-athlete men in suits, too — but there’s something extra exciting about seeing athletes out of their everyday gear and into some spiffy duds.

After the jump, feast your eyes on a whole bunch of be-suited athletes. And give us your thoughts on the most difficult of questions: do they look better in uniform or in a suit?