I really hate “Manny being Manny”

LA Times columnist Bill Plaschke said it best when he pointed out that neither Clemens, nor Bonds, nor A-Rod had ever been suspended by MLB.

Because even after the Mitchell Report and the hoopla, MLB still has the most lax drugging rules in sports. In other words, to get caught, you have to be pretty stupid.

Or, as Brewers TV color analyst Bill Schroeder said, you have to think you’re above baseball.

Of course, when Schroeder said it, he didn’t seem to understand that Manny does believe he’s better than baseball. What about his antics would have led you to think otherwise?

What It Feels Like for a Girl

One of the things that we all love about this site, both as writers and readers, is that it’s a place where we can all feel normal as sports fans. We can talk about batting averages and winning percentages and goals and who will beat who, and no one will look at us funny. We need this place because quite often, female sports fans are seen as freaks, pretenders or unfeminine, when none of the above is true.

Mommy, do you think that the Bulls should pick Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley?

We’re This Many! The Ladies… Turn One.

One year ago, a group of female Deadspinners got together and built a website that would forever alter the sportswriting landscape. Some delusions of grandeur, but whatevs.

Artwork, as always, by the one, the only, the incomparable Lady J-Money, who credits our success to the quality of our ingredients.

When we last saw our heroines, we were raising glasses to six months of this contraption. Since then….where to start? We got out of the house a little, and brought a few friends along for the ride. We stirred up a couple hornets’ nests and got our knees dirty. We launched a blatant homerism lovefest and let lust rule our fantasy drafts. We went undercover with the Mets and the Mitchell Report and got inside with the Tigers. We turned back time and had ourselves a total eclipse of the heart. We pledged our hearts to the World Series, and just about killed ourselves trying to get there, and just about GOT ourselves killed once we were…but that all worked out just fine, didn’t it? We got down and dirty with the history of Rock and championed the little guys. We came heroically close to covering every single bowl game. We said fond farewells to a fine crop of college boys, and found new targets for next year.

And the snacks. Oh, TSW’s snacky goodness. The legendary Buffalo Chicken Dip. The homemade corn dogs. The 9-Layer Ranchero Dip, K2 of snack foods. Pork with more pork. The genesis of our quiche obsession. The other Ladies got into the act, to the tune of Pudding Shots, Beer Bread, Cheese Straws, and a variety of meats and cheeses.

We celebrated (properly) the apex of football season (and then some), and marked the turning of the sports season. We got our gamble on. We gave thanks, wished on our stockings, spread holiday cheer and strove to be better fans. We found humor in the worst of times and stood up for boobs everywhere. We rassled and clawed and even screwed each other.

After the jump, some poetic and prosaic reflections on our year together.

Boston fans out-douchebagged. Film at 11.

Resident Boston Red Sox fans Texas Gal and GordonShumway were lucky enough to be at the game at The Jake last night where they were booed, heckled, had bottles thrown at them, and were almost removed by security when they attempted to defend themselves. Texas Gal’s quote of, “Fuck this town. Fuck their team. Fuck these people. I went BY MYSELF to Yankee Stadium and got disrespected a hell of a lot less”, does not reflect well of your fans.

The girls will fill you in on all the details later (with some new tales from tonight I suspect) but in the meanwhile, City of Cleveland, i.e. THE MISTAKE ON THE LAKE, you have now brought the wrath of all eight of us into focus in one location. You fuck with one of us, and we will defend her. You fuck with two of us, gals get twitchy and start looking at departing flights out of LAX and Mapquest routes from Philly and New Jersey.

I know it has been 10 years since you’ve last won the AL Pennant, but show some respect and act like you’ve been there before.

Or as SA wisely said, “Just because your team is in the playoffs doesn’t mean you can act like an asshole.”

Ladies Fantasy Quarterback Draft – Stand By Your Man

The quarterback. The team leader. The play maker. The American symbol of all that is intelligent, strong, and virile. And as such, the quarterback is the ultimate fantasy position for the Ladies.

We thought we’d mix up the usual fantasy football draft this year and select just the hottest quarterbacks in the league. QB’s we can cheer for all season, not based on what they do for our team stats, but what they do to stir our passions both on and off the field.

Oh sure, we will have the rest of the team to think about too, but we are only really concerned with our football boyfriends. Our boys will play head-to-head in a two-division league, 14 week season with a three week playoff. Each Lady will select her main squeeze and the man she keeps on the side.

Serpentine draft order: Texas Gal, TheStarterWife, Andrea, Clare, Metschick, Holly, GordonShumway, and SA.

Texas Gal – On the clock –