How to Deal

This is how I deal with bad sports: Adam Levine.

Like Lady Bee, I’m still reeling from watching my beloved hockey team, the Washington Capitals, crash and burn on Monday night. It’s so bad, that I can’t even watch hockey. I know, it’s really bad. Since I’m used to this annual heartbreak, I can’t understand why, this year, I’m so depressed about it.

It’s not like the Caps don’t do this to me every single year. This year I was so indifferent about hockey. I was mad about the lockout, but as a season ticket holder, I was excited to get back to Verizon Center and spend time with my hockey family. That was what I looked forward to: happy hours, victory beers, inside hockey jokes, good times with friends and making fun of our players – not so much the hockey.

MLB Photo Day 2013

Josh Reddick showed off his beard and belt?

One of the best parts of spring training is team photo day! Lucky for us, many teams had their official photo day yesterday giving us some great shots of our favorite guys. (I suggest thumbing through the Getty Images’ photo gallery.) As I was perusing through the pictures, I came across some real gems, including the insanely crazy picture of Josh Reddick above. I did some Googling and found out there was a story behind the photos.

Would somebody please hold Games Mistress?

Because, umm, this does not look good.

Hit & Run: Seriously, I’m OK, you guys!

(Photo: Getty Images)

First of all, many thanks to my friends (including Games Mistress and various members of Red Sox Nation) for pulling me out of my Pinstriped Spiral of Gloom last Friday morning after receiving word that Mariano Rivera suffered a season-and-possibly-career-ending torn ACL last Thursday while shagging fly balls in Kansas City. Honestly, there is nothing like a devastating injury to a beloved future Hall of Famer to remind you who your truest friends in baseball are. Red Sox fans and I may be bitter frenemies when wins are on the line, but when something like this happens, we all feel for the biggest fans of the affected team and athlete. So thanks you guys – you are the best!

And what a difference a day made. It wasn’t long until Rivera’s competitive nature bounced back as he declared to reporters “I’m coming back. Write it down in big letters. I’m not going out like this.” So it won’t be long until you can go back to hating my kind again, Red Sox Nation (know that I say this with love). It’s been reported that three doctors at two hospitals examined his knee today, so hopefully surgery and rehab go smoothly enough to get him back on the mound in 2013. Until then, it’s the Soriano-Robertson Show from here on out.

Hit and Run: Oh, it’s hockey playoff time, is it? I hardly noticed.

If you guessed 87 as the number of minutes the Pens spent in the sin bin Sunday, you'd be terribly close. (Photo: Getty Images)

You can blame the Leafs’ freefall from playoff contention on this, but I’ve been suffering from hockey fatigue. And so, you’ve been without an NHL Playoff Preview, and for that I apologize.

It seems I haven’t missed too much actual hockey, if the Pittsburgh-Philly series is any indication. The Flyers took a commanding 3-0 lead in the quarterfinal series with an 8-4 win Sunday over the Pens, a game highlighted with more Pier 6 brawls in a single afternoon than I’ve witnessed in recent memory. Someone want to remind Crosby that he should be using his stick to score goals, not whack Bryzgalov’s glove? Ugh. Thankfully, there’s a nice cooling off period for these guys – they don’t meet again until Wednesday.

Because good things come in threes, there’s three Game 3’s happening tonight: the Rangers are in Ottawa, Boston visits Washington and San Jose hosts St. Louis. Each series is tied 1-1.

Now let’s talk baseball…after the jump.

The Ladies… on Losing

Photo: Elsa/Getty Images

With the notable exceptions of Maggie and Mr. Buffalita (a Giants fan), last weekend’s football games were not particularly fun for the Ladies. After experiencing a bar full of Saints fans taking a metaphorical knife to the gut, I found myself in a philosophical discussion with my boyfriend about what type of loss was worse, as a fan: a heartbreaking last minute loss like the Saints to the 49ers, or a thorough stomping such as the one the Broncos received from the Patriots? Some thoughts, including suggestions on how to soothe the wounded sports fan soul, after the jump.

Goodbye Andy!

(Photo: Getty Images)

Many, many miles separate me from my Ladies… sisters. Yet the Yankee fans (current and former) among us sensed from each other a collective “NOOOOOOOO!” when we heard the news Thursday that Andy Pettitte decided to retire.

Your Monday Morning Nightmare

NHL Hotness Preview Numero Trois will be along later this evening. In the meantime…did you catch Sunday Night Football last night? I had my head down working on my NHL post, so I assume they were doing a segment on Favre (well, OBVIOUSLY!) when they started flashing Photoshopped stills of sports legends wearing unis of their respective team’s arch rivals. Bird. Jordan. Elway.

Derek Jeter.

There is not enough wine in the world to erase this horrible, horrible image from my memory.

(via @bubbaprog via @amandarykoff. Really, you guys. You shouldn’t have.)

Being A Jets Fan is Not for the Faint of Heart, Vol. 63

Sure they loved you in February, Darelle. But what about next February?

Oh, Darelle.

Good Mourning: Letting it all Out

This pretty much sums it all up.

Well it looks like I just might still be in mourning.  It’s been a week.  One whole week since my beloved – and favored – Capitals were eliminated in the Stanley Cup playoffs.  My heart was, and still is, broken.

It’s times like this one when we realize that it’s great to be a well-rounded sports fan.  When one season comes to a close, another is either in full bloom or just beginning.  This year, that thought makes me even more depressed.  Typically, when the NHL season ends, I put my focus on baseball.  This year, I’m finding that pretty hard.

15 Yards for Fugliness: A Photographic Survey of Nike’s New Football Uniforms

Over the last few weekends, Nike has been previewing their latest attempt to “improve” athletic apparel on several premiere NCAA Division I (yeah, that’s what I still call it) football programs.  Now, perhaps these uniforms, designed to be ultra light and form fitting, are functionally a worthy advance, but from a sartorial viewpoint, well, my inner Tim Gunn was making this face. A lot.

A brief survey of some of Nike’s designs after the jump.

Brett, we are so through.

My Favre jersey enjoys a new place of honour...in the Bee family garbage can.

This is hard to believe. I never thought it would come to this.

Brett, I am breaking up with you.

So that happened.

One sentence. That’s all it took. Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, the sluggers who propelled the Boston Red Sox to end an 86-year World Series championship drought and to capture another title three years later, were among the roughly 100 Major League Baseball players to test positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, according to lawyers with knowledge of the results.

Who cares about Manny Ramirez? Everybody already knows he’s a cheater and a prima donna manchild who will dog it on his own teammates to get his way. But David Ortiz? Big Papi? Say it ain’t so.

Oh, sure, the evidence was there. Anyone who watched him hit in Minnesota and then watched his complete turnaround as a hitter in Boston had to wonder. Was it enough to point to how much he’d drastically altered his swing once starting for Boston? Was it enough to chuckle when he told us that the only drugs he ever took were beans and rice? Was it worth it to ignore just how massive he was in Boston, how he became the ‘Big’ part of ‘Big Papi’? Could we just pretend all that wasn’t there because he seemed like everything that was right about a player- that he was a guy who’d put the whole city on his back with a twinkle in his eye, a gleaming smile and a swing like thunder? Well, yes. Yes, it was. Papi couldn’t be that kind of guy. He’s Papi, for God’s sake.

Well. We were wrong. And whether you believe his story that he had no idea he’d ever tested positive and doesn’t know how he could (even if you buy his cover that he may have bought some energy products from the Dominican in his youth) have tested positive for anything, or whether you so desperately want to believe this couldn’t be true, it is. Sure, nobody knows what he tested positive for yet. Sure, it was six years ago and there wasn’t a policy and accidents happen (just ask JC Romero) and blah blah blah excuses excuses. You know who else tested positive in 2003? Barry Bonds. Alex Rodriguez. Sammy Sosa. Manny Ramirez. Jason Grimsley. Not exactly innocent company.

The Complete Statistical List Of Pitchers More Deserving Of An All-Star Selection Than Tim Wakefield

I am going to take so much flak for this, and you know what? If I cared, then I wouldn’t be writing this post. Good morning. I think I’m going to go take it out on the street while the rain still falls.

Listed with RAR and FIP are all AL pitchers who 1) didn’t make the All-Star team, 2) have BABIPs over .250, and 3) have a greater RAR than Tim Wakefield.

After the jump…

It’s good news/infuriating news day here in Phillies country.

Well, it’s all over, including the shouting. Voting in the Final Vote contest has ended and the results have been tabulated. This year’s All Stars, after days of furious campaigning (more on that later) are Philadelphia center fielder Shane Victorino (and his million kilowatt smile) and Detroit Third Baseman Brandon Inge. (This lady is convinced that Inge is actually thirteen years old and potentially ineligible to work, much less in the Majors, but that is neither here nor there.)

Victorino finished with the greatest amount of votes for any single player in the history of the Final Vote campaign with 15.6 million. (The previous record holder was Evan Longoria with nine million. Once again, the Phillies roll to victory over the Rays. Suck it, Tampa.)

Hit and Run: Basketball breaks my heart, so I find solace in football…

I know how you feel, Roy. I know how you feel...

This has been a rough week for me as a sports fan. I have found myself in the odd position of having to defend my team, not only to others but to myself. I bitched all pre-season about how much I hated all the rankings. Too many expectations only means you crash harder when you inevitably slip from that lofty perch. I knew my team wouldn’t go undefeated; we didn’t last year and we are essentially the same team. But there is still nothing harder than watching the boys you love lose, and then LOSE AGAIN!!! (And then to watch that first team who beat you go on and lose to HARVARD. Harvard. I didn’t even know the Ivy’s had basketball!) There is also nothing worse than to kinda hate some of the members of your team. What was that Wayne Ellington? You thought you could go pro? How ’bout you jack up not one, not two, but THREE airballs?? That’s what they do in the pros, right? Or perhaps Ty Lawson. So called best point guard in all the land. Maybe you should have more points that turnovers in the first half. Sometimes that helps. Or maybe you should have atleast some ability to guard your man.  Is keeping him from scoring 30+ points unreasonable? Is that too much to ask? Thank the sweet baby Jesus for Danny Green. And Tyler Hansbrough’s first half effort. Ugh. I haven’t even watched Sportscenter this week because I can’t bear to hear all the shit they are saying. It makes me kind of sick.

I’m sure there are people revelling in my despair.

Hot Stove Hotties

"Kbai!"

Each week this Hot Stove season, we’ll look at some done deals and juicy rumors involving our favorite MLB hotties, and the occasional not-really-a-hottie, but still worth talking about.

This was Winter Meetings week, and both New York teams made big moves. On Wednesday morning, the Yankees signed C.C. Sabathia to a seven-year deal that will bring him 37.5 million Baconators (or $161 million). Later, they signed free agent starter A.J. Burnett for five years/$82.5 million.

The Mets made a few moves to bolster their bullpen (Merry Christmas, Metsy!), including signing Francisco “K-Rod” Rodriguez for  $37 million over three years, with an option for a 4th year.

LOTS more moves (complete with diagrams!)…after the jump!

Hot Stove Hottie timeout: Farewell to Mad Dog

Normally at this time we’d be covering the things that went on in the MLB markets in the past week, but this week we’ll stand aside to tip our caps to one of the most brilliant pitchers our generation has seen or will ever see. Winter meetings are going on right now, and you can get all kinds of updates from MLB Trade Rumors, as well as great updates directly from Vegas from Will Carroll, John Perrotto, and Kevin Goldstein of Baseball Prospectus.

Now, on to the very sad business of Greg Maddux announcing his retirement today.

The Mad Dog in his Braves days

I feel so dirty. But I like it.

So I’ve been watching a lot of NBA basketball lately. The Playoffs are actually exciting this year and well there really aren’t any other regularly televised sports that I want to watch. So as I was watching the first game of the Orlando-Detroit second round series and I found myself thinking bad, bad thoughts. Thoughts that I knew I shouldn’t be thinking. Thoughts for which I knew my friends would ridicule me. Thoughts that may very well damn my eternal soul. But there they were, floating around in my brain nonetheless. What should I do about them? Should I divulge these awful thoughts, these vile feelings? Should I let the world in on my dirty little secret? Will I be able to forgive myself for openly admitting to such blasphemous tendencies? I’ll let you be the judge…

Goodbye, Mets, Goodbye

This post isn’t going to feature any cute guys, or furry anipals or anything else. It’s just a Mets fan trying to understand what happened. Actually no – I know exactly what happened. The Mets choked. It’s as simple as that. The bullpen just flat out imploded in the last 3 weeks. The offense tried to save them in some games, but it wasn’t enough. You can also blame Tom Glavine, if you’re so inclined. But you know what? This shouldn’t have even come down to the last game. It should’ve been wrapped up, and the team simply couldn’t get it done.

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run: Injured Hottie Edition

Cardinals Hottie Scott Rolen may be done for the season. I’m trying not to fling myself off a bridge, but it’s very disheartening. We’ve come so far in the past 10 weeks. *Sniffle* He’s had cortisone shots in his shoulder, but it just doesn’t seem to be enough. Call-up Hottie Brendan Ryan will most likely take over at 3rd base for the remainder of the season. Ryan was quoted as saying, “I don’t have a choice. We’ve got guys who are banged up. I’m not banged up enough.” Awwwwwww. Furthermore, if anybody sees fit to bring me the heads of Alex Cintron or Hee-Seop Choi on a platter……that would be looked upon favorably. [Andrea’s Most Favoritest Player Out for September Stretch]

Proof positive of LaRussa’s Warlock Skills.