How I Learned To Get Off My Arse and Love Running

The running shoes that guided me through my first 5K and many others. Enjoy retirement, smelly Zoom Vomero+ 4s! (Photo: Bee)

17 months ago, my sister bought me the sneakers pictured above as an early birthday gift. This all stemmed from a conversation we had about how I always wanted to run the CBCF Run for the Cure and tried to learn to run but never quite got past a couple of tries. She thought it might have been the shoes, so she treated me to those pricey Zoom Vomeros.

I took them for a trial 1K run in a subdivision near my place during an unusually warm April afternoon…and thought I was going to die. I wasn’t sure what possessed me to agree to this commitment: I was never considered athletic or even remotely coordinated. I was the classic Last Kid Picked On The Team and never played sports in high school or college. I even have a distinct memory of one of the snobby girls in 9th Grade making fun of how I ran around the bases in softball during phys ed. So knowing all of this, how did I ever expect to run a 5K?

17 months later, with a number of 5Ks under my belt, I am aiming for my first 10K. 2010 Bee’s head just exploded after reading that.

With the Terry Fox Run coming up this Sunday across Canada (shameless plug to sponsor me can be found here), I thought I’d share with you, dear readers, some advice on how I got over that hump and turned those best intentions into action and water blisters. These tips may not be for everyone, but they worked for me. And if they work for even one of you, then my purpose for this post will have been fulfilled. Just don’t blame me for your occasional spending sprees on cute workout gear.

Five Ways To Spend Labor Day

Yes, some people have to work today.

Happy last weekend of summer as we know it! For those of you not spending it at work, or moving to your dorm, or counting down the hours until you can put the kids on the school bus, we bring you five ways to spend that (hopefully) least of laborious days.

Everybody calm down!

Andrew McCutcheon, why so blue? (Getty Images)

Oh. That. (AP Photo)

What is it about April baseball that brings out the panic in all of us?

Oh, look! Another lesson in how to train your girlfriend-bot!

So on my commute home, I decided to play around on Twitter, where I stumbled across this gem. How to Get Your Girlfriend Into Sports.

Now, leaving aside that the obvious answer to this time-honored problem of being a sports nut partnered with someone who doesn’t enjoy the old athletic display is to just date someone who likes sports. God, men (and women) of the world, if sports are important enough that you have to condition your partner into liking them, FIND SOMEONE WHO ALREADY LIKES SPORTS. Your partner is not a puppy. Don’t train them like one. God.

Let’s address this nonsense point by point, shall we?

Why playing time is not an argument against voting a pitcher MVP

A hitter plays every day and hits once every nine spots in his team’s lineup.

A pitcher plays every fifth day and faces all nine spots in the other team’s lineup.

For example:

Albert Pujols has had 21 plate appearances in the last five games. For the season, he averages 21.3 PAs per five games.

Tim Lincecum had 29 plate appearances against him in his most recent game. For the season, he averages 28.6 PAs against per game.

Joe Mauer has had 20 plate appearances in the last five days. For the season, he averages 22.1 PAs per five games.

Zack Greinke had 29 plate appearances against him in his most recent game. For the season, he averages 28.2 PAs against per game.

The Ladies… play MLB GM: Call up Lenny DiNardo?

If I had a nickel for every time I wanted to do Royals General Manager Dayton Moore’s job, I’d have…a shitload of nickels. I’d love to think GMDM totally reads all the Royals blogs out there, and considers our suggestions. That’s proooobably not the case at all, but just in case: Hey GMDM, call up Lenny DiNardo! He could help your bullpen! And he’s a lefty!

Oh, and…he looks like this:

We have the Omaha World Herald to thank for this work of art.

What’s Your Fantasy? The Ladies… talk Fantasy Baseball

Smart move: Drafting Grady Sizemore. Bad Move: Losing your job over it!

So if you’re like me, not only do you love sports, you love fantasy sports, as well.  Personally, I feel like managing a fantasy teams helps me be a better fan.  But that’s a topic for another day.  Today, I’m going to let you in on my drafting strategy.  I know we’re just past the All-Star break, but it’s never a bad time to discuss the make-up of your team and how it came to be.  Now is the time in the season where you take a step back and evaluate your talent. 

It’s make or break time, people!  If you’re looking for the answers to your fantasy team woes, this post may not be the best answer, but I can sure help you with some strategy for the future after the jump.

Ben Roethlisberger…fix your TV? That’s the best you’ve got?

The charges* filed against Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger this weekend are serious, and in no way do the Ladies… condone such acts. Sexual violence is disgusting and pathetic, and should not be committed by anyone at any time. We doubt many of you would disagree.

One could also file a lawsuit against that shirt.

*If you haven’t heard, Big Ben faces counts of assault, sexual assault and batter, false imprisonment, false pretenses, fraud, and intentional infliction of emotional distress. Story here. If true…not cool, Ben.

HOWEVER, I couldn’t help but smirk at the line he allegedly laid down on the Harrah’s employee who filed the suit.

Fashion Police: AJ Burnett

So y’all know how much I love AJ Burnett. And you also probably noticed this yesterday. But even though his pitching was pretty damn good, I have a question for you: Did you see the shirt he was wearing in the postgame press conference?

Well, in case you didn’t — or in case you need a reminder — he wore this:

It’s just… I don’t even know. First of all, I can’t figure out whether it’s pink or orange. Second of all, it’s not even buttoned properly (not that I necessarily have a problem with that, but y’know). Third of all, it has rhinestones on it. And fourth of all, he’s wearing gaudy chain necklaces.

The whole thing just sort of screams “I lost a bet with Nick Swisher”, doesn’t it?

A note to Sid

Sid, can we talk for a second?