Will Pat Neshek Still Be Able To Blog After Throwing His Arm Out Pitching Side-Arm?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pat Neshek is out of the Minnesota Twins lineup, likely for the rest of the year. He has an acute partial tear of the ulnar collateral ligament in his right elbow, as shown on an MRI from Friday, May 9, 2008. Neshek and the organization are hoping he won’t need Tommy John surgery, as that would put him out for most of the 2009 season as well. According to twinsbaseball.com, Neshek said doctors feel the injury can be treated with rest and rehabilitation. “We’re going to prepare for Opening Day next year,” Neshek said. In the meantime, will he still be able to update us on his status in his entertaining and informative blog, On The Road With Pat Neshek? The rest of the story, after the jump…

Stand By Your Man Fantasy QB Results: Week 15 – Dreamboats are out!

Like every other fantasy league, the two top quarterbacks picked a hell of a time to shit the bed and ruin the the playoff runs for their hotshot owners. (Please let this happen in the real playoffs, please let this happen in the real playoffs, please let this happen in the real play offs.)

Favre squeaking by Manning leaves him as the highest remaining seed in the post-season and faces a tough match up in Week 16 as he plays a demoralized Bear team while Kitna looks to walk over the league’s doormat in KC. Brees will not get by so easily this week as he plays Philly while Rivers continues to drive for the playoffs against Denver.

Stand By Your Man Fantasy QB Results: Week 14 – The Playoffs Are Set!

It feels like just yesterday that we held our Fantasy Quarterback Draft, but here we are after Week 14 facing the playoffs. Interestingly enough, half of the top eight draft picks spent most of the season on the bench. (More on the ratio of hotness-to-stats-to-wins once the season ends. Hopefully by then I’ll be able to figure out how to properly weigh the strength of draft selections in the formula without using a dartboard.)

But first, the results of Week 14.

Stand By Your Man: Week 13 – BRADY DOWN! All Hail King Romo!

Why is Tony so happy? He’s smiling because even if the Pats won on Monday night, he was able to outscore Brady in their head to head hottie matchup and handed the Dreamboat his first lost of the season. (Just in the nick of time, as we are just a week away from the playoffs.)

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 12

ROMO! I don’t even know what to say to you now that you’ve been linked to Jessica Simpson. Carrie Underwood, great. Britney Spears, nothing happened. Other random starlet, fine. Jessica Simpson is about fifteen types of crazy before you start hanging with her wacko stage father, who apparently you spent Thanksgiving with.

AND you still have belly fat. I WANT TO LIKE YOU BUT GODDAMIT YOU MAKE IT SO DIFFICULT.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 11 – Hyperbole Edition

The beauty in watching pro-football is not in the speed of the receivers, not in the strength of the running backs, and not in size of the linemen. You might catch a glimpse of it in the leap of cornerback about to make an interception or when a tackle might move faster than a big guy should, but true beauty lies elsewhere on the field. Beauty appears in the moments that giants rise above the apparent chaos and see exactly what is happening across the turf.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 10

More crunches and less Nestle for you, Mr. Romo.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 9

Hi. My name is TheStarterWife and I write the Ladies Quarterback Fantasy Football update each week. This is probably one of the least popular columns we run – even among the Ladies – but still here I am plugging along. And since no one really reads this update, no one is going to notice what happens next…

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 8

True, he did not play this week as the Cowboys were on a bye week. And yes, he spent the weekend hanging out at fashionable Ketchup in LA (Who wouldn’t want a Kobe beef mini-hot dog with Kobe beef chili? I hate chili but cannot resist that dish.) and then get lap dances from Britney Spears at Le Deux while Ryan Seacrest takes notes in the corner.

But what makes him the hottie of the week? Try a $67 million six-year deal with about $30 million in guarantees.

Hey Tony… need a lap dance?

Stand By Your Man – Week 7

Is there anyone more crushing to Fantasy Football owners than Tom Brady? (That is, unless you drafted Tom Brady?) His 188.10 total points for the season smoke second place Tony Romo (150.46) in the league.

Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge what geniuses we are by not drafting Brady Quinn in our all-hottie league. Not only is he still riding the pine, but the Browns starter Derek Anderson is in third with his 120.84 points. And, QUITE FRANKLY, he’s hotter than Brady in my book. More rugged. More manly. Poised even.

Week 6 – Shaking up the Stand By Your Man Posts. Again.

TSW – Hey Holly and SA – Did you see this headline yet?
*wonders what the sound of two exploding heads is like*

Holly – HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

In all seriousness: No surprise this year, really, with all the new receivers the Pats acquired and the resurgence of the Colts’ running game. They’re basically running our 2005 offense, the premise of which is: Of the eleven guys on the field, be able to throw to about eight of them. Should be a lot of fun to watch.

And yes, it’s nice for Tom to finally reach Peyton’s level. A lofty aspiration for a Wolverine–I’m happy for him! ;)

SA – OH. NO. YOU. DIDN’T.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 5

Week 5. Really. It is already Week 5. One-third of the regular season is done and gone.

Tom Brady remains the only undefeated QB (surprisingly in head to head QB match-ups Peyton Manning is 2-3 in this league), and Clare’s Speckhosen finally come back to earth with a loss this weekend leaving her tied with SA and myself at 4-1.

This weekend also saw GordonShumway’s Jake Delhomme go out for the season, so she might want to consider sending her third stringer Jay Cutler a few casual, “How’ve you been” emails while Drew Brees proves to be the flakiest date of the season.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 4

Short and sweet as we go into Week 4 of the Ladies “Stand by Your Man” hottie QB fantasy league. I’m exhausted from seeing my main squeeze play in person – more on this later in the week – and let’s face it; October is when all hell breaks loose in sports. Some of the craziest baseball in ages, (Rockies, Cubs, Phillies, and Diamondbacks? Who the hell had that in the pool?), hockey has dropped its first puck, and now that we are 1/4 through the regular season, the NFL story lines are in place. Favre’s record setting season. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady continue to walk on water. Romo is for real. Grossman rides the pine. And Philip Rivers is secretly txting Marty every time Norv turns his back.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 3

Apologies to all the Ladies this morning for my delay in posting this this week’s Fantasy Football results. I went to do the post last night, but WordPress was down for repairs and I ended up falling asleep to “My House Flip” before eventually making it to bed.

What a sleep it was though. I never ever – EVER – dream about making out with hot celebrities in my sleep. Ever. (Ok, maybe once, but I think it has been quite some time since it last happened.)

Last night? I dreamt that George Clooney was running a abs-fitness boot camp and that I was taking the class, only to have George work me harder than the other students. After the training session, we ended up kissing for a bit, and he looks at me and says, “Don’t you remember me?” This teasing goes back and forth a little bit, and then he acts all hurt that I don’t remember hooking-up with him at the premiere party after-party for The Rundown. (Note – George Clooney was not in The Rundown, nor did I go to that premiere.) Anyway, he walks me back to my car and we make plans for later that day, leaving me to call my friend Jeremy and figuring out how to explain to TSB how I made out Clooney in summer of 2003 because that was about the time we stopped seeing other people and made our whole deal exclusive. (By this point in the dream, Clooney was looking more like Billy Zane, but I could have cared less. Both hot.)

So back to the Fantasy Football post.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 2

Week 2 of the Stand By Your Man fantasy football league had two Ladies, (Andrea and Clare), already looking to their back-up boyfriends and featured hottie QBs that were going against each other in the Sunday Night Football game.

Metschick (De)Jesus’ Homies	vs	SA Woodson over Manning
Philip Rivers 11.76	Starting QB	Tom Brady 22.36
Alex Smith 4.94	Backup QB	Matt Hasselbeck 13.84
Eli Manning 13.44	“Just a friend”	Matt Leinart 14.56
113.06	Overall team score	221.56

Winning QB and Game winner – SA

Metschick – I hate you, Philip Rivers. Yeah, you played better this week, but you only got me 11 points, and the QB your team faced netted my opponent 22. Whatever, just get out of my sight.

SA – DREAMBOAT!!!! That’s all.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 1

Love maybe blind to flaws and shortcomings, but after the Week 1 of the Ladies Fantasy Quarterback League, more of than a few of the Ladies might be wondering if they should lie to their main squeezes and say that they have to go to their grandmother’s house next Sunday while quietly sending their back-up hotties a few text-messages to see if they might be around for a booty call. You know. Just in case.

Holly JimBobCooterGaveMe6	vs	Clare Speckhosen
Peyton Manning 23.52	Starting QB	Rex Grossman 4.80
Did Not Play – Not sweaty David Carr	Backup QB	Jon Kitna 25.26
Donovan McNabb 11.26	“Just a friend”	Matt Schaub 11.90
158.92	Overall team score	163.70

QB Winner – Holly and Peyton Manning
Overall Winner – Clare

In repeat of Super Bowl XLI, Colts’ hottie Peyton Manning had his way with the Bears’ Sexy Rexy who couldn’t find his way end zone against San Diego. Overall though, Team Speckhosen sports Terrell Owens, Plaxico Burress, Joseph Addai,Travis Henry, Antonio Gates, and Mike Vrabel. Which is to say, that girl Clare is stacked! Holly would have been better served if she played the homer card and started the Colts defense and their 20 points that were wasted on the bench, instead of the Dallas D which cost her a valuable point for being -1 at the end of the day.

How bad are the Raiders? Jon “Fuck Lion” Kitna was able to go for 289 yards, 3 TDs, give up 2 INTs, and still walk – Stray Cat Strut? – away with the win.

Ladies Fantasy Quarterback Draft – Stand By Your Man

The quarterback. The team leader. The play maker. The American symbol of all that is intelligent, strong, and virile. And as such, the quarterback is the ultimate fantasy position for the Ladies.

We thought we’d mix up the usual fantasy football draft this year and select just the hottest quarterbacks in the league. QB’s we can cheer for all season, not based on what they do for our team stats, but what they do to stir our passions both on and off the field.

Oh sure, we will have the rest of the team to think about too, but we are only really concerned with our football boyfriends. Our boys will play head-to-head in a two-division league, 14 week season with a three week playoff. Each Lady will select her main squeeze and the man she keeps on the side.

Serpentine draft order: Texas Gal, TheStarterWife, Andrea, Clare, Metschick, Holly, GordonShumway, and SA.

Texas Gal – On the clock –