What I Think About While Trying Not To Think About the 6 Run 9th Inning Lead The Cardinals Just Blew That Will Likely Cost Them The Wild Card

(Subtitle: Probably I’m Overreacting, Since They’ve Certainly Blown Plenty of Other Games This Season, And Anyway If They Make The Playoffs We’ll Never Get Rid of La Russa and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.)

• That the AL Wildcard has suddenly gotten triply interesting.
• That Jeffrey Loria used to own a team with an iconic “M” logo and still thought this was a good idea.
• That somehow, all you have to do is become a Bengal to act like a Bengal. (Yes, that’s two different stories.)
• That safeties are awesome.  And even more awesome when it’s a rookie’s first NFL sack (h/t TheJetsBlog)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go stare at Rafa in his underwear. I find it clears the mind.

Weekend Hit and Run: Blame it on the rain

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads we know in real life and in the blogosphere. Oh, and in pro sports (like that guy)!

The Last Time Your Team Won it All: Baseball Teams

I got the idea for this post when I was talking to my friend about the last time the Yankees won the World Series. It’s almost going to be nine years, but nine years isn’t that long. If I ever complained about a nine-year World Series drought to a Cubs fan, I would more than likely get a smack in the face…and it would be completely warranted.

However, when I think back to where I was the 2000, it seems like ages ago. The last time the Yankees won it all I was a freshman in High School. It feels like I graduated from H.S. ages ago; forget about actually being a freshman. The bottom line is we all follow our team with one goal: to see them win it all at the end. Don’t get me wrong, you can still enjoy the season, but you are never fully satisfied unless your team is the last one standing. Unless you root for the Phillies, Red Sox or Cardinals, the last time your team won it all can seem like a lifetime ago.

So let’s take a little trip down memory lane and see what life was like the last time your team were World Champions. Sorry to all Washington, Milwaukee, Houston, San Diego, Colorado, Tampa Bay, Texas, and Seattle fans. You need to have won at least one to qualify.

Hit and Run: In Which Barry Zito’s BABIP Regresses, Right Before Our Eyes!

A.k.a. the “Complete MLB Rundown (To The Exclusion Of Everything Else)” edition. Why? Because I can. Yesterday’s scores presented BBC-style for extra hilarity and confusion.

• Red Sox 3 – 5 Blue Jays. Sevven sollid innings from Tallet (see what I did there?) provide a lead for Scott Downs to preserve, bringing them back into 2nd place in the mighty AL East. Go Jays!
• Marlins 7 – 3 Mets. Tim Redding sucks. Josh Johnson doesn’t. Go Fish!
• Braves 2 – 3 Diamondbacks. There are a lot of 3s today. Eric Byrnes finally does something good; namely, driving in the winning run in the 11th. No, wearing awesome socks doesn’t automatically mean that you’ve done something good.
• Dodgers 0 – 7 Cubs. Eric Stults fails as Dodgers get shut out for the first time all year. You know, I like the guy, but hey dude, put up or shut up. As in, put up zeros on the scoreboard, or shut the hell up when the reporters interview you and ask why you sucked. Go ahead, say, “I sucked”. David Ortiz did, you can too! Ugh. STULTS. My boy Brent Leach faces 1 batter, records 2 groundouts, because he’s cool like that. Go Dodgers.
• Twins 2 – 5 Rays. David Price blah blah blah 11 strikeouts blah blah blah 1st Major League win blah blah blah Free Rick Porcello!
• Reds 5 – 9 Brewers. Some dudes hit some home runs.
• Tigers 6 – 3 Orioles. Is Luke Scott on steroids? Naw, he’s just in an un-slump.
• Astros 4 – 7 Pirates. Hey guys, the Pirates just won another game. Meanwhile, the Astros lost another one and are hopelessly out of contention. Kind of like the Nationals.
• Yankees 10 – 5 Indians. Your first double-digit scoring game of the night was notable only for the fact that CC Sabathia gave up runs. I really hate that guy. Oh, and Nick Swisher (perhaps better known simply as AJ Burnett’s new boyfriend) hit a home run. I’m sure they celebrated in an entirely appropriate fashion that didn’t involve ice cream or maple syrup or leather and chains. No, I didn’t just imply that.
• Nationals 6 – 9 Phillies. Cole Hamels gets shelled but gets the win anyway. Disgusting. Lidge doesn’t implode, but his ERA is still above 8. Good luck with that, buddy.
• White Sox 5 – 3 Royals. Gil Meche gets no love from the bullpen. Which sucks.
• Athletics 1 – 14 Rangers. The average Leverage Index for this game was so low that it actually may have caused a Fangraphs implosion. Seriously, check it out:

• Padres 7 – 8 Rockies. This game is actually so boring that there’s no proof it happened, so I can’t tell you what happened, although I’m sure if you really want to know you can look it up somewhere.
• Mariners 4 – 3 Angels. If you’re a Mariners fan, then Jose Lopez is your saviour. On the other hand, if you’re a Mariners fan, then you probably have bigger problems, including the fact that your #5 starter is actually a vampire. That’s my clever way of saying that I sort of have a crush on Jason Vargas.
• Cardinals 6 – 2 Giants. Zito was doing fine until he gave up 3 consecutive doubles in the 7th. Actually, on a team that didn’t epitomize suckitude, he would’ve had an easy shot at winning this game, except that 1) Albert Pujols is on steroids and 2) The Giants suck, ergo, their bullpen sucks, ergo, their starters don’t win unless they pitch complete game shutouts. Except for that one time, but I’m pretty sure that was an accident. Oh, and Albert Pujols did do something good; namely, he struck out looking on a curveball from Zito that came thisclose to making me scream in delight. (I did actually sort of whimper, but the sexual power of a pitch like that is a discussion for another time. Just watch any Roy Halladay start, or a good AJ Burnett start. You’ll understand.)

Good morning. I know in darkness I will find you giving up inside like me.

The All-Star Break Called… Part Deux

So I’ll admit it, I am a total snob when it comes thinking that the AL is superior to the NL.  I don’t know if its the designated hitter deal, the difference in stadium size (I like my homers in the AL), or the tighter strike zone… whatever it is, I’ve always considered the NL to be the red headed step child of Major League Baseball.  But I set those feelings aside to bring you the All-Star Team of the National League,  Ladies… style.

I Was There: Phillies-Mets-Marlins

Another weekend, another city, another four baseball games (Phillies-Marlins, and the three game Mets-Marlins series)- the tally is now at 24 games on the year so far. But now I’m going to give back, and share a little of the baseball hottie-fueled knowledge I gathered down in Miami.

How to Go to a Marlins Game: A Texas Gal Primer

1. Get Tickets.
The easiest part of the whole process is getting ahold of tickets- because there aren’t really very many “fans” of the Marlins variety. More like “people who live in the Miami area who are bored, and are investigating the rumors that their city has a pro baseball team”. These “fans” are easily startled, and will cower at the slightest taunting from opposing fans- which is unfortunate that they play in the same division as New York and Philadelphia, world-class hecklers both. Also unfortunate when 85% of the stadium are Mets fans.