Five Words.

Dick. Move. Hall. Of. Fame.

Okay, look. I’ve devoted a lot of time and energy into hating the ever-loving hell out of Brett Favre for the monumental screw-job he handed Green Bay fans by first doing the ‘I MAY RETIRE OR I MAY NOT WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW’ dance and then the ‘LOLOLOLOL I AM SIGNING WITH YOUR RIVAL’ swan song. I really, really thought there couldn’t possibly be a bigger dick in organized sports than Brett Favre. I mean, the man singlehandedly held up football in Green Bay for a solid three years, and I’m pretty sure Aaron Rodgers still has Favre voodoo dolls in every room of his house.

That said? I’ve never seen an athlete so tone-deaf as to think that a nationally televised hour-long special to announce his free-agency decision smacked of anything beyond rampant egotism. That was horrifying in and of itself.

But a nationally televised hour-long special to break up with his hometown team in the most public manner possible? That’s an unprecedented level of douchebag.

Congratulations, LeBron James. You’re 2010’s entry into the Dick Move Hall of Fame. Good thing I don’t care about basketball.

Hit and Run: Full of Poop

Yes, the Ladies… have been a bit busy this week. I’m home early for the long weekend so that I can be present while my septic tank gets cleaned out. I can barely watch without stifling a gag, but such is the life of a homeowner in the quasi-sticks. Better than paying property taxes in town, I keep reminding myself.

Yeah, I'm still not speaking to him.

Let’s kick off H&R in fitting style with this latest crap about Brett Favre. It seems that during a pep talk for the Southern Miss Golden Eagles, he stated that if they could make it back to the College World Series, he’d return for one more season in the NFL.

Brett, we are so through.

My Favre jersey enjoys a new place of honour...in the Bee family garbage can.

This is hard to believe. I never thought it would come to this.

Brett, I am breaking up with you.

Ladies… Linkups: Gettin’ Over The Hump

I am still cranky. Blame Rogers Sportsnet for running a Jays promo on Aaron Hill inspired – poorly! – by Dos Equis’s “World’s Most Interesting Man” campaign. Try harder, Sportsnet!

Perhaps you think Lady Bee should try harder, too. Forget it! It’s too darn muggy! Check out the linkups instead:

Another entry in the ‘Dick Move’ Hall of Fame.

So. That happened.

I’ll be up front about this. I’ve been a vocal Favre hater for more than a decade now. I rolled my eyes when Madden waxed rhapsodic about Favre’s status as a gunslinger. I groaned inwardly every time someone told me that he was a ‘man’s man.’ I hated the entire city of Green Bay for unleashing him on the world.

I hated him because he (and the Green Bay Packers) stomped all my beloved New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXI, leaving college freshman Maggie slumped on her bed wearing an expression that looked…kind of like the expression in that picture, actually. I’m bitter, I have a long memory and I learned how to hold an old-fashioned Irish grudge at my Grandma’s knee.

I tell you this only so I can explain to you, Green Bay fans, that I understand how you’re feeling right now, or how you’re going to feel if he goes through with this and suits up for the Vikings. That white hot, fiery hatred? That urge to punch that picture at the top of this post repeatedly because you can’t get the real thing in your hot little hands? The indignant, righteous and strangely helpless fury? I’m with you. I’ve been there. Hell, I’m upset on your behalf.

See, I’ve long suspected that Favre was going to end up with a plaque in the ‘Dick Move’ Hall of Fame. (The man took a dive for Michael Strahan, for God’s sake. He did the ‘I’m going to maaaaaaaybe retire, maybe not, let’s talk about me some more’ dance so many times I think Peter King performs the steps in his sleep. The writing was on the wall, people.)

The question, though, is just who he’ll be joining in the semi-hallowed, but mostly tarnished ‘Dick Move’ Hall of Fame. Come for the self-indulgence, stay for the money-grubbing.

Get To Know Aaron Rodgers

 

After weeks, or is it really months, of hearing about the whole Green Bay Packers, Brett Favre, Ted Thompson, blah, blah, blah… What? I’ve just started to tune it all out. However, now it seems there may be an open competition at training camp to determine who will be the starting quarterback. Since I can’t stand this story anymore, and I think Aaron Rodgers is perhaps getting short shrift, I thought you might want to get to know him here – since it appears you may not have the chance to this year in play as you originally thought.

Cowboys 37 Packers 27

Sympathies to Texas Gal for the injuries to her boy man Favre, but I think she’ll be okay now that her Cowboys have clinched a playoff with tonight’s win. Tony Romo went 19-30 for 309 yards in a game that saw more long bombs than the South Pacific, racking up four touchdowns and setting a club record 33 TDs on the season.

Now for the pretty pictures.

I swear Favre is flexing his older man ass as not to be outdone by the young gun.