It’s finally time. This one’s been a long way in the offing- and, in my opinion, criminally overdue. Why hasn’t Aaron “Bacon Pants” Rowand been featured as a Hump Day Hottie before now? We’ve had him jumping out of a cupcake, but we haven’t given him the full HDH treatment. I can only say that I was saving him for a special occasion- and the last HDH before football season kicks off seems like the perfect time (not to mention that TODAY IS HIS 30th BIRTHDAY). I have only myself to blame for keeping his hottness away from y’all for so long. I hope this makes up for it.
Lots more bacon-y goodness after the jump…
Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings so early in the day, but Ladies… it looks like David Wright is going to be a confirmed bachelor for the near future. That’s right- return the wedding dress, cancel the caterer and see if you can get a refund on that church deposit– because the #1 thing in DWright’s life is white, spherical and has big ol’ red stitches across its face… and I’m not talking about Mr. Met.
And while Davey’s Mets were getting pounded by Boomer Wells and the Dodgers (sorry, Metsy), fellow New Yorkers of the pinstriped variety ran into problems of their own with the Tigers– and Curtis Granderson‘s inside the park homerun helped lead Detroit to the W. Wonder if those wheels Curtis has can take them all the way to the playoffs?
Our previous foray into athletes in suits seemed to suggest that… we love seeing athletes in suits. I mean, we love seeing non-athlete men in suits, too — but there’s something extra exciting about seeing athletes out of their everyday gear and into some spiffy duds.
After the jump, feast your eyes on a whole bunch of be-suited athletes. And give us your thoughts on the most difficult of questions: do they look better in uniform or in a suit?
So I go away for a few days, and the next I thing I know, the other Ladies… have conquered the world. Fantastic work, y’all!
I’m airport blogging it again this week, this time from scenic LaGuardia Airport in New York (thanks to a cancellation of my flight back to Chicago from Boston yesterday) — so let’s all get caught up on the latest hottie news together, shall we?
The scenery in Pawtucket is lovely this time of year.
* While the big boy Sox didn’t fare so well against the Angels on Sunday (maybe they were hungover from Saturday’s night’s 10-run tear?), the AAA-PawSox were looking mighty fine against the Syracuse Chiefs on Sunday in Pawtucket. Ladies’ mascot Jacoby Ellsbury, freshly back from his appearance in Boston on Friday, scored the game-winning run.
* It was the Day of the Pitcher on Sunday: the Twins’ Johan Santana fanned a career-high 17 batters, the Braves’ John Smoltz struck out 12 en route to a club record, and the Padres’ Greg Maddux prevented a Houston sweep and picked up career W #342. Maddux and Smoltz just go to show that hottness knows no age.
Today’s H&R is gonna be quick and dirty, coming at ya all GordonShumway style from the Philadelphia airport. I have precisely 20 minutes to put together some hottie tidbits- so my selections today are coming straight off the top of my head. After six days of baseball games, my attention span is running short anyway- so play along while I randomly skip around the sporting world.
* First off, have to give some love to dirty sexy hottie Aaron “Bacon Pants” Rowand for putting on a show against the Braves over the weekend- including a spectacular home run and an even more spectacularly crazy catch in the outfield that saved our bacon (ahem) and helped clear the way (along with a giant 3-run homer by cutie Ryan Howard) for the Phillies’ 5-3 victory over Atlanta. All despite some horrific baserunning by Pat “Slowcamotive” Burrell.
2nd place in the NL East means we’re coming for you, Mets!
* And then there’s golf hottie Sergio “Make It Rain… With Spit” Garcia, who found yet another new and exciting way to lose a major when he signed an incorrect scorecard on Saturday, DQing him from the PGA Championship. Never trust a guy named “Boo”, Sergio- it’s doubtful he’s functionally literate, much less able to keep up with scoring a tourney properly.
Fortunately, hottie Tiger “Make It Rain… With Birdies” Woods stepped right in to claim the victory.
So you’re on deck. You’ve swung the bat a few times with the donut, you’ve tightened (and re-tightened) your batting gloves, you’ve tarred your bat and helmet up nice and good, and your kick-ass music is playing out across the ballpark as you step in to the batter’s box. You’re ready to do battle with that good-for-nothin’ pitcher… and then you see this:
Oh my sweet lord.
How the hell is a batter supposed to concentrate with that stare drilling down from the mound? Never mind the intimidation factor, a pitcher’s glare is flat out HOT. It is part predatory, part arrogance, part master craftsman; all testosterone, all serious – and it is undeniably sexy. And the piercing stare from a closer? Well, you might as well turn out the lights and go home, because it is GAME OVER. The intensity, the attitude, the single-minded focus… that glare says, “I am a man. I am here to do business. And I am about to rock your world.” Please, sir- may I have some more?
Try to resist the lineup of pitchers’ stares after the jump…
What did the fans of the Texas Rangers do to get so lucky? Not only did they land my darling Kason Gabbard, they also picked up the hottest guy on the market, Jarrod Saltalamacchia. And they’ve already assimilated him!
Let’s travel back to The Day, you know- two days ago. Back when all was right with the world, and Salty was in the red and blue of the Braves, instead of the red and blue of the Rangers. This will be the only time you ever hear me say something good about the Braves- but their roster is chock full of hotties, and it’s sad to see Jarrod relegated to Dallas. At least he’ll have Kason to keep him kompany– they can share their letter-related woes as well: since Kason was stuck with a typo maybe Jarrod can lend him a spare letter.
See a full lineup of Salty-in-Braves goodness after the jump…