Cosmo Thinks They Know NHL Hotties…AGAIN

Colorado Avalanche v Minnesota Wild

Hey Cosmo, Over here! Did you forget about me and my Minnesota Wild teammates?

Dearest Cosmo:

STOP NOW. JUST STOP. First of all, we started these hot guys in sports lists way before you did. Also, we’re actual female sports fans, so we, you know, watch games, monitor players and, for the most part, know who to watch for in a game.

I’m not saying that this new list of “NHL Playoff Hotties” is completely bogus, but you clearly don’t know what you’re doing. Granted, you did manage to include some obvious hotties, i.e. Henrik Lundqvist and Kris Letang, who you somehow forgot to include in your original list that we also called you out on.


But what you didn’t do was feature a guy from each playoff team. Instead, you gave us three Blackhawks, two Montreal Canadiens, two Canucks, two Bruins and two Maple Leafs. What about the Minnesota Wild? HELLO, ZACH PARISE??? How about the St. Louis Blues and David Backes or the any of the hotties on the defending Stanley Cup Champion L.A. Kings?? UGH. WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU?

Backes Timeout

David Backes is putting Cosmo in a time out for not including him or any of his St. Louis Blues teammates.

And don’t get me started on the guys you did include. Mike Green again?? What about Troy Brouwer or Joel Ward or, the hottest of all, Brooks Laich? And I’m almost positive there are hotter Bruins than Tyler Seguin. At least we didn’t get Sidney Crosby again.

As we said before, stick to sex advice and celebrities. Leave the athletes to the experts. OK, you can have Tim Tebow, he barely counts.

Love, The Ladies…

P.S. – Check out our NHL Playoff Hottie list tomorrow as part of our weekly Hump Day Hotties feature! :)

5 thoughts on “Cosmo Thinks They Know NHL Hotties…AGAIN

  1. Go home, Cosmo. You’re drunk. You’ve been drunk since you had your first hockey fluff piece in 1996. And, we get that you have a crush on Mr. Carrie Underwood! (That’s probably why Mike Green is on so many of these lists: he’s probably the only hockey player their average reader knows of.)

    BTW, the only reason we probably DIDN’T get Sid is because he’s broken.

    • Sid isn’t even the hottest Penguin, but he’s always on these lists! Letang is my favorite Penguin, but I’m definitely trying out a new one tomorrow. ;)

      • Probably the only reason Sid is on these lists is, again, he’s one of the few hockey players the average Cosmo reader has heard of (reference the “Mr. Carrie Underwood” rule.)

        If it’s Brendan Morrow, the unapologetic Stars fan in me will cry mostly sad tears. ;)

  2. They left out Erik Karlsson. He looks young, but he’s definitely cute enough and good enough to be on their list – but they have no idea what they’re talking about.

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