Cosmo Picks Hot NHL Players, We Disagree

Phil Kessel over David Steckel?? What was Cosmo thinking??

Phil Kessel over David Steckel?? What was Cosmo thinking??

Take a look at “The Hottest Players in the NHL 2013” according to Cosmopolitan Magazine. I don’t entirely disagree, but there are much better options out there. They did the same thing in 2012, and the picks are less offensive, yet still missing the mark.

So here’s my open letter to Cosmo:

Dear Cosmo,

Your list of the hottest players in the NHL is wrong. Really wrong. I know you had to pick one guy from each team, but, let’s face it; you either have a. bad judgment, b. poor eyesight, c. lack of NHL knowledge or d. all of the above. Exhibit A: Scott Hartnell. Ew.

Did you just pick names you recognized or did you actually scour team rosters? Take for instance the New York Islanders. John Tavares? Yes, we’ve all heard of him, and he’s a future superstar, but looks-wise? You could have done better. Ever heard of Mr. Glass Hip, Rick DiPietro? Hello!! Dude is hot.


What about Josh Bailey? He’s the first guy listed on their roster. Did you even check headshots to verify your picks?

Islanders Sign First Round Pick Josh Bailey

And, seriously, you’re going with Mike Green AGAIN to represent the Caps? Did you even realize that the Caps used to be a goldmine for hockey hotties. How could you overlook Brooks Laich, the winner of the Ladies… NHL Playoffs of Hotness?


So the next time you decide to put together a little list, maybe you should consult with actual female hockey fans. Or at least someone with eyes.

The Ladies…

So faithful Ladies… readers, who would you subtract off the list and add in their place? Let us know in the comments.

7 thoughts on “Cosmo Picks Hot NHL Players, We Disagree

  1. Phil Kessel, “sexy right wing”?!! More like he should be running a beet farm with his brother Mose. Stick to writing the same story about how to get mind-blowing orgasms, Cosmo.

  2. Phil Kessel and Jagr… This list is a joke. But Cosmo is pretty irrelevant in general so I shouldn’t be surprised. No Lundqvist, Parise, Neal, Letang, or Weber but Phil F’n Kessel? lol

  3. It isn’t possible for me to put into words my dislike for Phil Kessel and seeing all of you dislike him warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart.

    Seriously – not even to repopulate the world would I with Kessel. I have a snarl on my face just writing this.

    • If you did have to repopulate the world with Phil Kessel you might have to try more than one… there’s the whole missing testicle thing.

  4. Late comment is late, but again, I re-iterate: Dart board. Roster. Blindfold. And, with some of the captions, they are trying waay too hard.

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