It’s time once again for the annual NBA Free Agent Sale — and this year our deals are hotter than ever! Yes, you too, for a contract totaling only slightly more than the gross national product of Kiribati, can own your very own NBA Superstar Free Agent! We have so many great models to choose from, like this 2010 Hungry Franchise Savior:
This 2010 Tough and Proven Veteran comes fresh off a Finals appearance and is ready to provide leadership to your team!*
*Buyer assumes all responsibility for injuries or performance issues resulting from past wear and tear.
And brand new for 2010, our Miracle Kid — if he can successfully return from microfracture surgery and learn how not to sulk about playing time, think of what he can do for you!**
**The NBA Players Association can not ensure Miracle Kid’s continued unselfishness when not on the same team as Steve Nash. Oh, and the knee surgery thing. We make no promises about that either.
Also available, the 2010 Free Spirit and Proven Winner*** models:
Can’t decide? Group packages may be available!****
What are you waiting for? At these prices, these players won’t last long!*****