On a beautiful April day in Cleveland, Ohio I had the privilege and fortune of attending my very first opening day. The fans in their new team gear, the smell of grilling flesh, the way the afternoon sun sparkles on the fresh outfield – I could not have been happier. Apparently, this was the first time in years where the city of Cleveland wasn’t covered in snow for opening day, so I feel rather like a good luck charm!
Immediately I was reminded of a very simple truth – there is nowhere on the planet I’d rather be between the months of April and October – than a baseball stadium.
I was also reminded of a few not so beautiful things about baseball season, and that’s what I’ll be sharing here.
I hate waiting – whether it’s for a beer, to use the rest room, to get into the park, you name it. I hate waiting! Is there a stadium in this great nation whether my lack of patience will not be highlighted?
Jerks are everywhere – there is no way this will be a shock to you, but it’s true. I sat in the front row of the bleachers – fantastic seats. However, there was a group of about three guys that felt the need to yell “Heroine!” at the top of their lungs whenever Josh Hamilton came into the outfield. Have we really sunk to this people? More importantly, it’s classless and the guy behind me who’s son had to ask, “What’s Heroine, Dad?” probably didn’t need to teach that life lesson at a ballpark. Get it together people! Twenty bucks says none of them would have the balls to say that to Hamilton’s face!
Sometimes beers get spilled – this may not seem like an earth shattering revelation but it does happen and it does break my heart!
Without a pitching staff, we’re screwed – the problems with the pitching staff in Cleveland, and other ball-clubs, are too numerous to mention and deserve an entire post. So stay tuned, but it deserved mention here.
Fair weather fans, we don’t need you. Immediately after the game I heard about five people say, “Hey, at least we have the Cavs.” Well guess what kids, chances are they’ll shit the bed too. And then what, “thank God for the Browns?” I doubt it. If anything, rooting for teams from Ohio has taught me, loving under the best and worst conditions is good for the soul. You fly by nighters – there’s the door!
Disappointment is inevitable – between lack of Grady in the outfield, he was a no go for back problems, and the big L on opening day, a tinge of disappointment was felt by all.
In no way do these negatives outweigh the millions of positives. The things I love about baseball couldn’t fit into a book, let alone a post. So before you go thinking I’ve turned surly, rest assured – the juice will always be worth the squeeze when it comes to baseball!
I hate waiting
Jerks are everywhere
Sometimes beers get spilled
Without a pitching staff, we’re screwed
Fair weather fans, we don’t need you
Disappointment is inevitable
Replace “pitching staff” with “forwards who can score” and you have described the things that suck about my favorite sport, hockey.
Yet, each season we come back for more.
My therapist said not to see you no more
She said you’re like a disease without any cure
She said I’m so obsessed that I’m becoming a bore, oh no
Ah, you think you’re so pretty