Ask the Ladies… Where the NFL Hotties Are (Part 1)

I'm sorry...what was the question again?

As though the Advent Calendar of Hotness was not enough, here’s a complete buffet of NFL sizzle to wrap up your Friday. The Ladies… were recently presented with a challenge. Karen of Fredericton, New Brunswick writes:

So, in a strange twist of fate, I found myself watching football this weekend. And liking it…Can you recommend a team with the most hotties? ;) I typically have liked the Patriots, but I could potentially be swayed.

We love a challenge almost as much as football booty. Can we successfully encourage this loyal reader to avoid the “victim of regional coverage” trap? (I know a lot of Pats fans in this province. Also, Red Sox fans. It hurts.)

We begin dishing the advice in one of two parts after the jump.

Raven recommends, obviously, her Baltimore Ravens with a concise and detailed analysis:

There are many reasons to love the Ravens.  I love them by default because they’re my hometown team.  You could like them because they’re hard workers who never seem to get any respect.  You could like them if you hate the Steelers because they do too.  You could like them because they have a young quarterback and *finally* a good offense that puts points on the board.  They have also won a Super Bowl in this decade and know how to win in the playoffs. But you could like them for other reasons, like the hotties playing for the team.  Well, if you are looking for some hotties, the Ravens don’t discriminate.  Here are my reasons (in the form of hotties) to love the Ravens:

Hot Coach (you know, if you dig on older guys): John Harbaugh

I absolutely love this man.  Not only does he come from great football genes, he must also come from some good-looking genes, as well.

Hot Asian: Haruki Nakamura


Nakamura is half-white, half-Japanese.  I think he’s freakin’ adorable!

Baby-faced Hottie: Ray Rice


Rice has the baby face, but he also has a ripped body, too.  Double the fun!

Bonus Baby-faced Hottie: Steve Hauschka

While Steve Can’t-Take-It-To-The Hauschka may sometimes forget how to kick field goals (I’m really sorry…if he would have just hit his field goal against the Vikings in Week 6, we wouldn’t have had to hear about how great Brett freakin’ Favre is!), he’s still a baby-faced little cutie.  Not as hot as the guy he beat in training camp, but still hot. (Editor Bee’s Note: as I took forever to post this, Hauschka has since been cut.)

Former Boxer Hottie: Tom Zbikowski


Tommy Z used to play football for Notre Dame and box professionally.  He decided to play football, and I’m fine with that. Less chance of him ruining his good looks!

The Charming Veteran: Ray Lewis


I don’t care what you say about Ray.  He is not a murderer.  He just knows someone who is one.  And trust me, when you live in Baltimore, the odds of knowing one is pretty high.  I picked him because his smile is intoxicating. That and he hit on me once. True story.  Anyway enjoy the photo, but most of all, enjoy the following clip from SNL. Leave the man alone, he didn’t take your f@*$in puppet!

The Manly Mormon: Todd Heap


Todd Heap is just the man around these parts.  He does goofy commercials and ad campaigns, but they’re tolerable because he’s in them.  So pretty to look at!


The Guy Next Door: Joe Flacco

I’ve written about this before but Joe Cool has major hottie potential.  His eyebrows are deceivingly close, but he’s way hot in person.  He just reminds me of your average Joe (no pun intended) that any of us would date.


Many thanks to the lovely Raven for her suggestion. We’ll present some arguments for other teams in a future post. And remember if you have a burning question, the Ladies… are here for you.

7 thoughts on “Ask the Ladies… Where the NFL Hotties Are (Part 1)

  1. As much as I hate the Ravens, I LOVE Harbaugh. And thanks for mentioning the genes-his father was my hubby’s college coach who not only saved the program from being cut many years ago, but also led us to our school’s only national championship. Oh, and Jim isn’t too bad either! :)

  2. I know I’m in the minority, but Tom Brady = Yuck.

    Huzzah for Ray Rice. (I don’t think he’s all that hot, but I adore him!) Go RU!

  3. Lainey… how could you not TELL me that you were going to post the article so that I had to wait until Monday to see all this deliciousness?!

    Raven, wow… no shortage of hotties in Baltimore, and it’s almost as if you know me and my penchant for older men. Don’t forget the other thing about the Ravens – Michael Oehr! Ok, he may not necessarily have hottie status, but come on… the movie was epic!

    Ladies… I can’t wait for the rest! This is such a tough challenge, well for me anyway! So many hotties… I mean teams to choose from. I’ll tell you right now I’m debating between the Pats (sorry Lainey), the Saints and the Ravens, but I shall hold out on final decision-making and team merchandise buying until you all weigh in. :) Thanks for helping me in my quest to pick a team!

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