Everyone needs bonus Boris Diaw.
The NBA season starts in just under two weeks, so it’s time for the second installment of our Haiku Previews. (If you missed it, part one is here.)
Living in New York, I’m tolerably familiar with the Eastern Conference in general and the Atlantic Division in particular, so horrible Bucks haiku blunder aside, last week was the “easy” week in terms of research. This week’s haikus owe much to TrueHoop, Henry Abbott’s excellent NBA blog (which I was reading before ESPN hired him, so I feel all cool), as well as the various NBA team blogs hosted at SBNation. I will say the pictures came a bit easier this week — there are some lovely, lovely men in the Eastern Conference’s Southeast and the Western Conference’s Northwest divisions.
Again, the teams are listed in order of last year’s final regular division standings.
Southeast Division (Eastern Conference)
Orlando Magic
Last year: 59-23, lost in the finals
You don't tug on Superman's cape.
J. Williams? Carter?
“old” newcomers should learn fast
it’s Superman’s team.
Atlanta Hawks
Last year: 47-35, lost in 2nd round of playoffs
The pose says he's serious. The ears say he's adorable.
Hawks third on depth chart
of Atlanta sports? Horford
says Braves, Falcons who?
Miami Heat
Last year: 43-39, lost in 1st round of playoffs
Dwayne is not in my NBA fave 5. But maybe my fave 10.
Beasley’s out of re-
hab, Riley’s not coaching — yet.
What’s the next drama?
Charlotte Bobcats
Last year: 35-47, missed playoffs
Oh you lucky, lucky Charlotte fans.
Coach Brown wants new rules,
“more flow” — too bad Bobcats must
play with status quo.
Washington Wizards
Last year: 19-63, missed playoffs
Jarvaris Crittenton; once a Grizzly, now a Wizard. Upgrade?
Gilbert not talking
“Ever”? Only thing making
Wizards fun now gone.
Northwest Division (Western Conference)
Denver Nuggets
Last year: 54-28, lost in the semifinals
New Nugget Arron Afflalo. So hot he doesn't need to spell it correctly.
Melo’s boys improve
on best ever year? Taller
order than Rockies.
Portland Trailblazers
Last year: 54-28, lost in first round of playoffs
Jerryd Bayless. Not a tennis player, despite the look of this picture.
Is it time to call
Oden a bust? Trailblazers
good team anyway.
Utah Jazz
Last year: 48-34, lost in first round of playoffs
Never really got the Kyle Korver thing -- until he cut his hair.
Blogs, Deseret News,
research found no story for
Jazz haiku. Bo-ring.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Last year: 24-58, missed playoffs
Hi, Jared Reiner!
Jefferson’s healthy
but Rubio’s still in Spain.
Good luck, Jonny Flynn!
Oklahoma City Thunder
Last year: 23-59, missed playoffs
Aw, Kevin. Do you need to read Liz's post about Tweeting again?
Durant’s plus/minus
awful, starts Twitter war. Thun-
der still minus wins.
Next week: The Pacific and Southwest divisions. Last week’s comment haikus were awesome — keep it up!
Ladies... 