Is It Football Season Yet?

If you haven’t noticed from the last couple of posts, the ladies cannot wait for football season to start. Training camp is in the full swing of things with the first preseason game coming this Sunday. But even still, real football has not started yet so it’s only natural that news is a little slow. The first game of the season is still over a month away. People are mostly grasping for stories to report on. So I have decided to sort out some of the more ridiculous, and entertaining, stories coming out of training camps.  Enjoy! Take solace in knowing football season is almost here.

Eli Manning had a busy week. He became the highest paid player in the NFL. Yes, you heard that right! The younger Manning signed a deal worth $97 million for 6 years. This means he will average about $15.3 million a year. Now I am happy that the Giants signed him. He may not be the greatest QB in the league, but he is a keeper. Since 2005, he has not missed a single game, has lead the Giants to the playoffs every year, and even won a Super Bowl. When a player does all that, you make sure to keep him around when his contract is almost up. However, highest paid player in the NFL?! That is just a bit much.

When you’re busy becoming the richest man in the NFL, you would think that would be the highlight of your week. Well, not when your name is Eli Manning. He had bigger problems to solve; problems involving watches. The Giants have sold ad space on their jerseys to the company Timex. The players will wear patches advertising the company on their practice jerseys. This sounds all fine and dandy, but has caused quite the dilemma for poor Eli Manning. Manning is the spokesperson for Citizen. (Ya know, the commercials with, “Eli Manning is…UNSTOPPABLE!”) Well have no fear; the fast-thinking Manning has solved everything. The patch itself will only be filmed from afar and he will do all interviews in a t-shirt instead of his jersey. That was some swift thinking on the part of Manning. Maybe he does deserve that contract after all.

I think I will make this my official go-to photo for anything Dallas related.

I think we have had enough Eli Manning and Giants news for one day. How about we spend some time making fun of the Cowboys? That’s always fun.  So as we all know the Cowboys are moving into a shiny new stadium this season. And it is turning out to be even more decadent than the New Yankee Stadium. The luxury suites are definitely not for regular joes. The prices range from $100,000 and $500,000. If spending all that money gets you hungry, you might crave some pizza. A pizza will only cost you $60. It was actually first reported the pizza would be $90. The $30 difference doesn’t make it any less ridiculous. I’ll take the $2 slices right near my school. I bet they taste a whole lot better anyway.

Terrell Suggs was the best dressed man in training camp. At least, if you’re a Ravens or Browns fan you would think so. Suggs wears that classy piece of article shown above under his jersey during practice. I personally love the shirt and need to know where I can get two of my own. However, I would like to change the Steelers to the Cowboys and the Red Sox.

"No tequila makes me run faster!"

So a lot was made over Lendale White’s 30-pound weight loss heading into training camp. Everyone wanted to know how he did it. A strict diet, extensive workout, starvation…what was it? Turns out White blamed all his excess weight on the alcohol. Lendale White says that he was a big drinker, particularly of Patron. Supposedly he cut out alcohol for 6 months and that’s how he lost the weight. I know alcohol can be fattening. They don’t have the term beer belly for nothing. But this is liquor we are talking about! How much liquor was he drinking? Either Lendale White isn’t telling the whole story of his weight loss or he was a raging alcoholic!

Matthew Stafford sure looks like he enjoyed his Summer vacation.

Matthew Stafford had a FUN Summer vacation. And can you really blame him? Once the season starts, the fun stops. He was drafted by the Lions. He shouldn’t have to explain himself for letting loose. I’m sure getting drafted by the Lion may feel more like a prison sentence than anything else. However, in this day and age, an athlete cannot go out, wear dumb shades, and dance with big-breasted, blonde women without the world finding out about it. Of course, photos found their way on the internet. These photos have taught us a few things: Stafford prefers blondes, he apparently likes to look as douchey as possible when partying on a boat, and the Lions coach Jim Schwartz has a sense of humor. At a team meeting, he decided to show off Stafford’s vacation pics and said, “I thought I had a fun vacation until I saw this.” This caused the entire team to burst out laughing. Please note that this will be the last laugh the Lions share as a team the rest of the season.