B: …What are the “Twelve Days of Christmas”? ‘Cause, figure it out, right? Christmas is when?
D: Um, the twenty-fifth…
B: Right. And, what’s the twenty-fourth…Christmas Eve, right? So..
D: That’s two
B: That’s two. And, then what’s after that? (pause) Boxing Day
D: Wrestling Day
B: Wrestl..get out!
D: Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
B: That’s three. Then, what’s after that? Nothin’!
D: New Year’s!
B: Four and what’s…
D: New Year’s Eve?
B: That’s five. Where do ya get twelve?
D: Uh, there’s two Saturdays and Sundays in there; that’s four. So,that’s nine. And three other days which, I believe, are the “mystery” days.
With apologies to Bob and Doug McKenzie and, uh, whoever wrote the original lyrics, we now bring you The Twelve Days of Christmas, Ladies… style. You may notice a small bias, but I did try to select at least a few “gifts” my fellow Ladies would like. So I guess sports = true love here. I can live with that.
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And here’s the final verse, if you’re running out to finish your shopping (or if Rock You starts randomly breaking my slides again):
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Twelve weeks ’til March Madness,
Eleven Sooners gunning,
Ten King James leaping,
Nine Santana innings,
Eight one-loss teams,
Seven Lochtes swimming,
Six Chris Paul layups,
5, Albert Pujols!
Four wheels and driver,
Three French men,
Two AD arms,
and a bowl game on my TV.