Last Minute Costume Ideas for the Lazy Sports Fan

When my little brother was about 8, he went as a baseball card for Halloween.  (I don’t remember why he was a Wade Boggs baseball card, as he wasn’t a particular fan of the Red Sox or Boggs — maybe his Boston hat was new and he wanted to wear it. That would have been like him.)  My mom believes you can make just about anything out of cardboard and/or felt, so she happily broke out the posterpaint and recreated a larger version of the card.  I kind of wish I had a picture of the back, where she painted all of the stats and the “fun fact” by hand.  Yup, kids, that was how we did it before Photoshop and home color printers.

Since today is Halloween, you probably don’t have time to handpaint a baseball card sandwich board.  Luckily, if you’ve been putting off picking a costume, there are quite a few sports-themed ideas that don’t require a lot of extra effort or shopping.

Michael Phelps:

Make yourself 8 gold medals out of construction paper and yarn, throw on a warmup suit (preferably red, white, and/or blue) and presto!  Instant all-time winningest Olympic champion! 

Optional variations:

• Medal stand Michael — one medal, and a bouquet.
• Any Olympic medalist — just select the right color/number of medals and warmup gear in that athlete’s national colors.
• Chinese women’s gymnast — same as the above, but tape a “birth certificate” to your chest with the year of birth conspicuously altered.

World Series Costumes

Going as a delirious Phillies fan is pretty easy — Phillies shirt and hat (although a plain red shirt could also work), conspicuous beer stains, and messy hair like you haven’t slept since Game 5 ended.

If you have a friend who also has no costume, why not go as Game 5 itself?  One person wears a poncho and assorted rain gear, the other wears a parka and warm hat.  Mix in a third person in pajamas to represent the day off in between, or just spend all night having the parka wearer finish the poncho wearer’s sentences… after a really long pause, of course.

Too high concept?  Fine, then just grab a Rays cap and some thick black glasses and go as Joe Maddon.  Be sure to tell everyone you talk to that you’re “really proud of the way your guys played.”

The Superfan

On him, it's cute. On you ...take your chances.

Finally, for the sports fan who wants (or is being forced) to wear a costume, but wants to put out as little effort as possible, there’s always the Superfan costume.  Pick your favorite team and dress head-to-toe in team apparel or team colors.  Facepaint is optional.  Just as a warning, if you are above the age of 12, this costume could make you look like a douchebag.

As for me, I will not be wearing any of these costumes as I had a good, non-sports related idea that I’ve been working on all month,  including making a hat out of cardboard and felt.  Guess I take after my mother after all.  Happy Halloween!

Special thanks to my mom for scanning and sending me the means to embarrass my brothers.