Dear Oussama Mellouli, marry me. K thx!
I’m completely consumed by the Olympic spirit.
By ‘spirit’, I mean hotties.
Believe it or not, Canadian kayaker, Adam van Koeverden, has popped up in my dreams twice this week. Looking remarkably beautiful on both occasions, of course. The fact that I’m beginning to have dreams about him is really creepy though. My Adam google-stalking has reached some sort of subconscious level. I need to stop. On Thursday night, Adam was actually speaking French in my dream. I’m not even sure Adam speaks French.
Aside from the Olympics basically running my TV viewing, the football season has started over in Europe with the EPL kicking off this Saturday. Whoo! Well, sort of. I watched exactly one match this weekend — Arsenal v West Brom — and I don’t feel badly about it at all …don’t you try and shame me. I still love you football. I’ll call you when the Olympics are over, okay?
This is Oussama Mellouli. He won the gold in the 1500m freestyle. He’s also a smoking hot piece of ass, if you’ll allow me to be frank. Born and raised in Tunisia before he left for Marseille and later to swim for USC, Oussama was actually retroactively banned from the sport for doping in 2007 (Adderall – the drug isn’t performance enhancing, or so says Wikipedia. He took it to help him write a term paper apparently). As a result of that offense, basically all of his 2007 results were nullified. Talk about hard times. This gold medal should taste like sweet, sweet redemption.
If it wasn’t for Michael Phelps and his crazy eight gold medals, Usain Bolt would’ve been the star of these games. Not only is the man something the world of athletics has never ever seen before, he’s a true showman. He radiates confidence, joy, all that gooey fun stuff that makes me melt just a little. How can you not? I mean, it’s the 100m final and this man shuts the race down about 80m in — literally jogs to the finish, banging his chest, waving at the crowd. He’s in a completely different class. It was nothing short of incredible. No exaggerating.
Oh look, Canada has medals now. Including two golds. Among them, the men’s eight. Does that mean everyone gets to shut it with the Canada jokes now?*
People were freaking out about our medal count being, well, nonexistent for a while. In truth, Canada doesn’t traditionally win very many medals in the first week. In Athens I believe we picked up only two of our medals in the first week of competition.
*I love a good Canada joke — maple syrup, ‘eh?’, aboot — throw ’em at me.