Phelps Watch 2008: Three Down, Five to Go (and other musings)

In a completely unshocking turn of events Michael Phelps, the Golden Boy, American Hero, BFF of one George Walker Bush, won his third gold medal of these Beijing Olympic Games. Oh, and again unsurprisingly, he did it in world record time (1 minute 42.96 seconds to be exact). He made that 200 Freestyle his bitch. I used to swim as a child and in high school. He makes it look so easy it makes me sick. I went to the pool today and swam for an hour. It was hard to SLOWLY swim even a few hundred meters, let alone blast through the water faster than anyone in history. As Andrea noted yesterday, Phelps won his second gold in the EPIC 4×100 meter free relay. Is it even possible to stop this man (without going all Tanya Harding on his ass, that is)? Not even OTHER PEOPLE can mess up his quest, and I mean, other people screw up everything!

In the 100 Meter Backstroke, Aaron Piersol won his first gold medal of these Olympic games, also breaking the world record. Is nothing sacred any more?? What is with these world records falling like crazy? I love him though. He seems like a total laid back stoner, and then he gets in the pool. And there, he’s a speed freak. (And I don’t mean the amphetamines…)

Mmm, hello swimmer boys.

Can I just say, WTF with Ryan Lochte’s long white-boy fro?? Please baby, cut the hair. Return to the days of this…. :)

Notice the details on the legs. So hot.

And going from things I don’t like to things I love. I LOVE the Speedo LZR Racing Suit. OMG. How awesome is it? I’m not super patriotic. Seeing George Bush talking during my Olympic broadcast fills me with a healthy (some might say unhealthy) dose of rage. Quit cheering on my swimmers! I don’t want to be doing the same thing as you!!!!!! Wow, anyways… back to the suit. I love the flag, I love the black blocks. I love the stars. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Here is good view of the top of the womens suit. God Bless America, indeed.

Here is good view of the top of the women's suit. God Bless America, indeed.

I must admit that I don’t have the most mature sense of humor, and every time I hear the NBC broadcasters say “And now, back to the Water Cube for the Men’s Semifinals, blah blah blah” I laugh. Ha. The Water Cube. Srsly? Who came up with that name? Despite the redic name, the building itself is pretty frickin’ sweet.

It glows, oooohhhhh.

It glows, ooooooo!

Oh, and I made note in an old post about Chinese female gymnasts perhaps being underage. I totally stand by what I said, although the two girls that are the most frequently mentioned don’t seem TOO young to me. They don’t look 16, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, only because they look like AARP members in comparison to this girl:

Im 16, I swear!

I'm 16, I swear!

Meet, Deng Linlin. A girl so young it prompted me to call my mother shrieking about her obviously 10 year-old self competing first in the floor exercises for China in the qualifying round. A girl so slight of frame, so firmly still entrenched in childhood, that my sister called me, texted me and then texted me again as she competed in each subsequent event. “She’s 13, maybe” after the vault. “Bitch is 11 if she’s a day!” after the bars. Now, I know that gymnasts look young. The leader of the Chinese team is 20 (or 21) and she doesn’t look it, by normal standards. But I have watched enough gymnastics in my day to have some idea about what they look like as they age. There is somethig in the face, in the eyes that says: “I have seen stuff. If my body would allow me to have my period, it would have been here by now. I like boys.” (Or girls. Not to discriminate.) Look at American Shawn Johnson. She is a 4’10” midget. Dainty yet strong. High pitched (although not Strug-ianly ear splitting) voice. However, she looks 16 to me. It’s in the face, if not the hormone deprived, overly muscular body. Deng looks like a child. Like she shouldn’t be allowed to babysit other children because she still requires a sitter herself.

Alright, enough of that ranting! Off to watch men’s gymnastics. I loooove the high bar. How the heck do they DO that?? Enjoy the Games!

15 thoughts on “Phelps Watch 2008: Three Down, Five to Go (and other musings)

  1. yea, yum!

    I’m strictly a swimming and diving fan when it comes to olympics, and not just because of the Speedo suits.

    But what is with the WR being shattered by seconds in every event? That seems a tad bit… notable? Suspicious? I’m not sure.

  2. If I remember, the Sydney Olympics shattered all kinds of swimming world records as well so I don’t think it’s that surprising, especially with the technological advances swimming has made in the last year or two. I’m also starting to wonder if it’s actually easier to swim the finals in the morning after a full night’s rest.

    I’m not quite as big a fan of the US suits but they certainly make the US athletes easier to spot in the water, particularly in those underwater shots.

  3. There is no way every girl on the Chinese team is 16 and up. Not that I think a country would dare cheat in the olympics of course.

  4. @Pam: Cheating? Never! The Olympics are the holy grail of fair play and, umm, not cheating.
    I agree that the new suit take away from the swimmer bodies. Thankfully in the heats and semis most of the men still wear the long shorts, no chest coverage! But the trend has been towards more coverage for years, since Sydney and that whole full-body suit nonsense. Ugh, those were hideous. I like these because if they are going to cover up the hot, the suits might as well be fanciful to make up for it!

  5. Michael Phelps is a freaking psycho freak. I’m beyond marveling at this point. I just watch and think ‘HOLEEEEE SHITTTTT HE CANNOT BE A WHOLE BODY LENGTH IN FRONT OF THE WORLD RECORD?!’

    Dumb noob question though — would the expected 8 medals be one for each of his events? Is there a chance he’s going to lose anything?

  6. DoeT I think he’s expected to win gold in every event, so yes.

    Also, I’m not too suspicious if the records going down, I think GM is right about the technological advances. You’d be surprised what reducing a little skin friction drag can do for you.

  7. The thing about the new suit is that is reduces drag and it also has like compression blocks, where it holds in the muscles that usually ripple and move around a lot when they kick and flail through the water. Therefore making them glide through in a much smoother and WR smashing fashion.

  8. I salivate on the regular looking at a HOT pic of Phelps in People magazine with the speedo barely hanging on his hips…HOT…it’s got the boys at EDSBS all jealous. heehee

    and what is NSFW?

  9. I’ve been coming home at eight every night just to watch swimming…and there’s a program at my gym in conjunction with the Olympics that awards “medals” for number of times worked out in a week. My trainer has told me that if I “win” the highest possible number of medals, I also win Ryan. Awesome. (A picture?! I don’t mind the white-boy ‘fro.)

    jamie: Not Safe For Work.

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