Hit & Run: Nereida Gallardo, tell me how my ass tastes… No homo.

I know, I know. We already did a post about this yesterday but I felt it was necessary to add some additional commentary and pics. Cristiano Ronaldo may be the undisputed king of the douches right now, but HOT DAMN, that is one beautiful piece of man-meat! AND HE”S BACK ON THE MARKET. Fangirls and working girls alike shall rejoice in this glorious news! So if only he would shut his gorgeous pie-hole, stay with Manchester United and be frickin happy about it, he could go back to being in first place in the Mistress Christina’s future husband race.

* Morning update: I wandered on over the Kickette this morning (I would link to it if I knew how) and read the Nereida isn’t going down without a fight. She proclaimed to paparazzi stationed outside her home in Majorca, that “He loves me and I love him” or some such nonsense. All while still wearing the diamond band he gave her (according to the Sun). Another juicy tidbit from the Sun (the UK newspaper) “She is devastated. She talked of herself as the new VICTORIA BECKHAM.” Excuse me for a moment…. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHASDAS:ODJ YEAH RIGHT!!

They’re dunzo as far as I’m concerned and she should go back to whatever the hell she did prior to meeting him… or, as is more likely in Europe, she’ll have a dramatic sit-down with Hello magazine, followed by a stint on Celebrity Big Brother or Im a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, and we’ll be forced to deal with her for far longer than anyone actually should. BAH.

In other news, if Brett Favre could also shut his yap, that would be much appreciated. Stay retired please.

You are old.

I think this is Hamilton. How do I know that? The barely visible “H” on his jersey.

As I’m sure one of the other Ladies will inform you tomorrow, Justin Morneau won the homerun derby last night. Although I don’t really see how that fair considering Josh Hamilton (prior to some investigative work, I had his name listed as Justin. Yeah, I don’t watch baseball.) majorly pwnd him, total homeruns-wise. Yet another reason for me to dislike baseball. Oh, and also, SCREW YOU RYAN BRAUN. I was randomly assigned you in a spur of the moment Ladies bet, with the spoils yet to be determined, and you totally crapped out on me! I have no idea who you are. I think you play for the Brewers, and now, even more so than before, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME. So umm, back to the status quo I guess. Here’s a tip for next time: HIT THE BALL HARDER. Ugh, I hate this part of the summer. Is it basketball season yet???

SHRIEK, I almost forgot! BILLY PACKER IS DUNZO AT CBS!! OMG this is almost as good of news as Ronaldo being single again! I think I have said before that I am a bit of a Carolina basketball fan. And I have had to endure the past two seasons of Billy Packer’s asshattery enraging me to formerly unknown levels. UNINTENTIONAL, Billy, REALLY? He punched him in the face with his forearm at an extremely high velocity, ON ACCIDENT??? Tyler Hansbrough bled his precious blood all over the floor of the Dean Dome because Gerald Henderson DIDNT MEAN to karate chop him in the nose??! Also, and I would like you to kiss my ass (or in staying with the theme of this post: Tell me how my ass tastes) for the whole, “This game is over” comment, circa the Final Four game against Kansas. Yeah, Kansas won, but the game wasn’t over yet, you old mean-spirited jackass. Enjoy watching the games from the couch like the rest of us! Please, please, ESPN, Fox Spots South, God, or some other carrier who fills my television with my beloved Carolina games, please do not hire Billy Packer. TYIA. Love, the entire ACC.

It’s that weird part of the summer where there are no decent sports on. It’s the All Star Break (or whatever, I don’t watch baseball anyways) and the Olympics aren’t for a few weeks. My most precious basketball is on hiatus until OCTOBER. Ugh. I only have NASCAR to sustain me, and that’s only once a week! How am I to survive? So please forgive if my posts are more gossip and snark than actual sports news…

9 thoughts on “Hit & Run: Nereida Gallardo, tell me how my ass tastes… No homo.

  1. LOL at Nereida FYI, that ring she’s wearing is HERS! She’s had it for ages… not a gift from the hotness that is Cristiano… *lawdy the gal is desperate*

  2. @MJC: WHAT??? The Sun can’t possibly be wrong! Ugh, so far from shocked that its her own ring. Of course it is. He prefers to pay his ladies in cash or credit.

  3. still don’t care ’bout Ronaldo. Watched about six of Josh Hamilton’s HRs during the first round. Doesn’t everyone hate Billy Packer? He annoys the crap out of me, and I personally think he’s a Carolina homer, which mistresschristina obviously disagrees with. So he generally sucks.

  4. SA- AMEN. Hence the reason my plea ended with “Love the entire ACC”. No one liked him! And I think every team thought he was a homer for another team. When he announced UNC-Duke games, he was a Duke man (IMO), I think other ACC teams thought he favored both of us. He DEF favored Wake. Ugh, I’m just glad he’s gone, period.

  5. 1. WAGs are not relevant to my interests
    2. Fuck you Brett Favre
    3. Josh Hamilton makes me happy
    4. Billy Packer is proof of the cancer that is killing broadcasting

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