At some point early last season, I made up my mind that I absolutely hate day baseball games. I’m not entirely sure what happened during a day game that made me so spiteful towards that time slot, but there it is. But lately, I have been trying to like afternoon baseball a little bit more, and about 99% of my past English teachers would have me draft up a pro/con list to help determine the stronger argument.
This was the first Google Image result for “day game.” Not a promising start, but we’ll forge ahead.
Con #1: Pre-noon wakeup.
Living on a baseball-oriented schedule means I get to sleep until the crack of noon most days. So the 10:30 report time at work for day games is always a bummer.
Con #2: Sunburns!
Perhaps because of Con #1, I am never sound-minded enough to remember sunscreen. So I always end up burned to a crisp, and with the awkwardest of tan lines.
Con #3: The heat.
Hot afternoons make everyone grumpy, even this ball of smiling energy. When you have an evening game, there’s the promise of sundown and a couple of degrees’ worth of relief. But with a day game, you get the hottest part of the day, and temps go from miserable to utterly unbearable between the first pitch and the last out. From the mouth of a player Wednesday afternoon: “I haven’t stopped sweating in two days.” Yuck.
Con #4: Screaming kids EVERYWHERE
I love kids. Really. But when they’re in groups of roughly fourteen million, and wearing matching, garishly bright t-shirts, I just kind of freak out. They’re everywhere. They scream in only the highest of pitches. They move in very large, very slow herds. They demand that promotions staff members give them anything and everything for free. (No joke: if I even carry a freaking CHAIR through a crowd of kids, at least five of them will say, “Oooh! Give me that!” and of course none of them will even think to add a “please.” And I’d be a rich woman if I had even a nickel for every kid that demanded that I stroll into the dugout and get them a ball, bat, glove, jersey, sunglasses, or all of the above.)
But enough of that negative crap, let’s get on with the good things.
Pro #1: The occasional cute moments with all those kids
I have to hand it to large clumps of kids; they are always willing to start and sustain chants, which is good news for promotions staff. Yesterday afternoon, I had a group of kids “help” me start a chant of “Let’s go Royals!” and right after we started chanting, the Royals* first baseman, Ryan Shealy, hit a home run. A little boy gasped and said “Oh my gosh, we made that happen!”
*That’s the Omaha Royals, the AAA affiliate, for those of you keeping score at home.
Pro #2:Post-game naps
There’s lots of time to nap after a noon matchup. And due to the forementioned heat and sunburn, it’s easy to fall right asleep and stay that way. Very refreshing, two thumbs up.
Pro #3: Eye black.
While we were busy ogling yesterday’s Hump Day Hottie, he and the rest of the Twins were getting bullied by the Red Sox. But Mauer was kind enough to wear eye black, so even if Twins fans (or people who desperately want Minnesota to start winning so they can knock those stupid White Sox out of first place) are sad about the 18-5 loss, they have something nice to look at.
Pro #4: EYE BLACK!
Ellsbury. Oh my.
You know what? I think I like day games now.