French Open Tennis: First Round Hotties

Tennis is probably the sport I have spent the most cumulative hours watching in my lifetime. That, and NASCAR. Why? Well one, my mom is a tennis freak. So if there is a Grand Slam on TV (i.e. US, French, or Australian Opens and Wimbledon) we were watching it. Each Grand Slam is a 2ish week tournament. Two solid weeks of tennis on the TV every single day. So thats 8 weeks each year of at least 3 hours a day… I don’t feel like doing that math, but it seems like a lot.

Wow, that was a boring story, the point of which being that I still watch a lot of tennis. And this year’s French Open is packed full of man-candy. The first round is still underway, but here is a compilation of hotties who have, so far, played their hearts out in the opening round of this tournament on clay. Enjoy.

First off, the boys who we will no longer be seeing. Also known as: The Losers. They may have lost in the first round of play, but their hotness will live on in our hearts and brains for many days to come.

Jonathan Eysseric – (wild card, France) Boy is not even 18 yet, JAIL BAIT ALERT. Lost to Andy Murray in 5 sets. He’s also a runner-up to be my future tennis husband (when he is of legal marrying age that is…)

Janko Tipsarevic – (32 seed, Serbia) This 23 year old cutie lost to Nicolas Lapentti, of Ecuador, in 4 sets. He’s also covered in tatoos, which I find really really hot. The facial piercings, not so much.

Now on to the Winners! Boys who we will be seeing in action for at least another match.

Jeremy Chardy – (Unseeded, France) Defeated Gil in 3 sets. This young hottie is a crowd favorite (this being held in France and all) who has had a stellar juniors career. He’s trying to make a big-time splash on his home turf.

Novak Djokovic – (3 seed, Serbia) Won first round match in 4 sets. Now a Grand Slam title holder, Djokovic is expected to do well in the French (his only real challenge in his quarter of the bracket is James Blake) but with Federer and Rafa both healthy he might not make it out of the tournament with another championship trophy.

Novak has developed quite the female following. It might be because of his penchant for going shirtless. It might also be that bulge in his shorts…

File the rest of this entry under: RAIN RUINS EVERYTHING!! Instead of watching 2 of my fave tennis hotties battle it out with some tennis no-names, it decided to rain in Paris. And hence, half of the men’s opening round bracket has yet to even start, let alone get through 5 sets of tennis.

Rafael Nadal – (2 seed, Spain) Played a total of 9 minutes before his match with Thomaz (z not s) Bellucci got rained out. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that he wins… call it a hunch. Now, if Jonathan Eysseric is the runner-up to be my tennis husband, Rafa is the hands-down winner! I love him more than any other tennis player and more than almost any other athlete, period. Father my children. Please? He also happens to be the undisputed king of the clay courts, having won the last 3 consecutive French Opens. Will this be Rafa’s fourth?

Marat Safin – (Unseeded, Russia) Again, rain has prevented Safin from playing his match, but I can’t wait when it finally starts. Marat Safin is about 6’4” of pure sex. The former 2 time Grand Slam winner may have a pretty face, but under that beauty lies a total head-case! Safin has spent the better part of the last 3 years either “taking time off”, being injured, or just plain sucking because he couldn’t get his mind right competitively. He’s got all the the skills to be one of the best, he just needs to get it together! Maybe this French Open will be the tournament where he gets back his edge (although, that probably wont happen, I see him losing in the round of 16, if not before that). Prepare yourself for a barrage of Safin pics :)

What is going on in this picture, Marat? Roman’s new GF (your ex apparently) looks to be, umm, bouncing on your lap…

Marat Safin has about a bajillion hot pictures online. I couldn’t really choose between them, so I didn’t try :)

In case you were wondering, but I’m sure you weren’t: Yes, Federer won his first round match. Yes the stupid Swissman is playing well. Yes he’ll probably make it to at least the semis. No, you will never see me post a picture of his smug, wins everything, pompous, stupid, fugly, face. I hate him. My dislike of him is unusual because I normally like winners. I love dynasties. I like dominance. But Roger Federer makes my skin crawl. I can’t wait until he retires.

Expect most French Open posts to come (especially once the mens matches really get under way and I can examine the hotties more closely…)

15 thoughts on “French Open Tennis: First Round Hotties

  1. Such anger, Mistress Christina! Although I don’t share your extreme distaste for Roger, I will refrain from criticizing because I have my own irrational athletic aversions (cough-Jim Edmonds-cough). Ain’t sports wonderful?

  2. @Julia
    It really is. I have tried to understand my dislike for the Federer but I cannot. So I do not try. Sports hate is just as good as sports love in my book.

  3. I spot something naughty in that pic of Rafa. Either I’m bad for noticing or you’re bad for posting.

    And I love Novak – I really, really do – but he has a long head. I mean it’s just LONG. I don’t know if it’s the haircut or what.

  4. I too share your hatred of Federer. The French Open is my favorite Grand Slam. Probably because I’ve sent 2 of them in the hospital so I got to watch every match. This year I’ve seen exactly none of it. Seriously this working thing gets in the way of everything. If anyone knows of any free streaming video let me know.

  5. Pingback: australian pics

  6. bring jonathan to england…he’s already legal here

    then i can devour him :p

    he’s bloody gorgeous…me n me mum sat down to the tennis at the start of his match…and well…lets just say our eyes didn’t leave the screen…nice powerful legs…wonderful cheeck bones…gosh i love french boys…


  7. Not one picture of my husband James Blake? Inconceivable! I am happy you gave props to crazy Marat, though. He is finer than wine, getting better with time.

  8. Oh MARAT SAFIN what can i say!!!! YUM YUM and oh just ever so YUM!!!! Man when i see him i am so jumping on him right there and then. He is so my future husband.

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