Hit and Run: NBA Playoffs and Crush Update

As much as I love basketball, I’m ready for the playoffs to stop being the playoffs and start being the NBA Finals. It’s time for some of these teams to get on with their off-seasons already (ahem Utah, Cleveland, Orlando, SAN ANTONIO). As much as I will loathe this paragraph in the barren basketball-less months to come, let’s get it moving people!

Celtics v. Cavaliers (2-2)

It looks like the Celtics are trying to be the team that wins it all but makes it look way harder than it should. On paper and in reality the Celtics should be beating the Cavaliers handily, or only losing in close games because LeBron goes off for 40 points or something. But they aren’t. The Hawks took them to a game 7, and it looks like the Cavaliers are on the way to doing the same. Don’t get me wrong, I think the Celtics will pull it out in the end, but it will be IN THE END. I feel like their motto has become, why win in 4 what we can in 7? This is in direct conflict with my motto for the series, which is “WHY THE HECK CAN’T YOU JUST FINISH OFF LESSER TEAMS IN AN APPROPRIATELY LOW NUMBER OF GAMES??”

Hornets v. Spurs (2-2)

A few of us Ladies… have really jumped on the Chris Paul bandwagon. See, Alana, La M., Chris Paul Does Not Sleep. He Waits. May 9, 2008. He was my pick for Hottie MVP and he really just pisses excellence. Unfortunately, his scrappy young team has run smack-dab into defending champs the San Antonio Spurs. Where the Hornets have youth and spunk and Chris Paul, the Spurs have Tony Parker and Tim Duncan and that Ginobili character and EXPERIENCE. I really think that the Hornets can pull this off, but it’s going to take the Spurs having something of a meltdown in these next few games because I think going down 2-0 in the first games really kicked their butts into gear. And that is a gear most teams do not want to see. That being said, GO HORNETS!

Detroit v. Orlando (3-1)

Surprisingly, this series kind of depresses me. Maybe it’s just because I really like Dwight Howard (he’s so frickin’ cute) and my dirty crush is on the team (Oh JJ, how I hate/love thee) or maybe it’s because I don’t like the Pistons (I mean honestly, what good comes from Detroit?) but each and every game I feel like Orlando is going to pull it out, that they are going to win, and then they don’t. And now some of the lesser known Orlando players (by me that is) are making outrageously intelligent statements guaranteeing a road win for Orlando in game five. This clearly will not enrage or motivate the classy and mellow Detroit Pistons and I am sure they will pay it no heed and go into Game 5 and lay down whilest Orlando trounces them. Cough, laugh, snort. Yeah, that’s what’s going to happen.

For your viewing pleasure (and because everyone loved this pic so much last time)…

Lakers v. Jazz (2-2)

This is my blah series (one word descriptions, UH OH). You know the Lakers are going to win, or at least I do. But somehow the Jazz have managed to hang in there, most likely due to their ridiculous home court advantage (they have won something like 40 games at home this season). Big headline for Game 5: Kobe’s back hurts, yet he promises to play through the pain! (Of course he’s going to play, he’s Kobe stinking Bryant. As if this was even a question, but yet it is a top story on ESPN.) Interesting debate that is lurking under the surface: Kyle Korver, really attractive or some sort of illusion? I can’t decide. Sometimes I’m all about his generic, white-boy, pastiness. Others, I think he looks sort of crazy. Thoughts?

On an unrelated note: (But related in my mind because all athlete hotties are intertwined in my brain) Dale Earnhardt Jr. is still single! Woot. There is an article coming out in the new issue of ESPN magazine where he is surprisingly melancholy (even for a mega-fan like myself it was sort of a downer). Towards the end of the piece the reporter brings up his love life and it is then that Junior spills the beans that he remains single. Apparently no woman has lived up to his exacting standards nor does he feel he should lower them. In my head I hear: he is totally waiting to meet me so we can settle down and have red-headed babies. This article totally made my week.