Poetry Slam: Fuck Tiki Barber, Over And Over.

barber_frolic.jpgAfter a year of playing FanHouse Poetry slam, I’ve come to expect many things from AOL’s comment threads. Racism. Misogyny. Homophobia. Dallas Cowboys threadjacks. But I never dreamed they would one day spread their wings, fling themselves out of the nest, and begin to fashion their own poetry. Yet there they were, when I came running shortly after time expired in the Super Bowl to see what madness awaited. I have excerpted some modest examples for your pleasure:

He boosted the signal then he looped it he looped it
(oh he came from New England oh he hooped it he hooped it)
then got caught kinda STUPID

cheaters,cheaters, pumkin eaters, taped our signals and still couldnt beat us…..

Yea Baby, Yea Baby, Patriots lose, Patriots lose.
Colts, Colts, Colts, LOL, LOL, LOL, YES, YES, YES, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Couldn’t you just burst from pride? (Or is that contempt?) They’re taking over. But what follows, I’m almost certain, is unintentional art. (Standard disclaimer: I did not make any of these up. Original spelling, grammar, and punctuation have been preserved. All [sic]s implied.)

I call it “Fuck Tiki Barber, Over and Over”.

WHY IS IT THAT AMERICANS LOVE THIS WAR LIKE GAME?
WHEN IT COMES TO THINGS
LIKE THE PATRIOT ACT,
WE LAY DOWN LIKE A LAMB
BUT DON’T YOU SAY A WORD
ABOUT THE Patriots FOOTBALL TEAM!

WAKE UP AMERICA
THIS IS JUST A DISTRACTION
TO KEEP YOU
UNDER CONTROL!
ROME HAD ITS GLADIATOR GAMES
WE HAVE OURS
WHEN WILL WE LEARN
THAT WAR AND BLOOD GAMES ONLY LEAD TO THE FALL OF AN EMPIRE!

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

ELI IS NOT COMING….HE’S ARRIVED.

THIS WAS NOT SUPER BALL VICTORY?

now the MANNING name can live on FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now if only next year the COLTS and the GIANTS
wood go head to head
in the SUPER BOWL!!!
brother against borther against brother
( PEYTON
whose on the COLTS
-duh-
not ELI
whose on the GIANTS
-again duh-)

I’m buying an Eli Manning jersey tomorrow
and sleeping in it until next Superbowl. What a STUD!!!

Can you tell how much I hate the New york lilly-pads!

It was more than the Patriots scored.
The Patriots would have won
if it were golf.

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

I was absolutely sure the Giants would win
precisely because all the so-called experts
were virtually unanimous.
Whenever virtually all the so-called experts agree,
they are almost always wrong.
It reminds me of the global warming hoax.

Kind of reminded me of Vision Quest.
Louden (Eli)
just kicked your ass Tom (Shoot) Brady!

This country was started by
hard working northerners,don’t forget that
you make Yankees fans
look like a bunch of curling fans.
They shore did break alot of records this year
Go away excuse writer.
They still are a Great Team The New England!! Patriot

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

was worried about America for a while,
but it was refreshing
to see an overwhelming amount of true Americans
show their disgust-
online,
in person,
and in the stadium(for a nuetral site pats fans sure didn’t support their team)
for the entire pats organization.
There is nothing patriotic about them a
nd those who support them.
Let’s waterboard them
(at gitmo)
to find the extent of their filth
and the involvement of the league office
and then deport them back to their homeland-
iraq,
iran,
afganistan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you need a icon or avatar bro! quick go get one!!

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

How don’t you know if
a New York crime family didn’t rig the Super Bowl
for the Giants to win an upset to make a killing in the bookmaking racket?
If Joe Pesci is riding in the New York City Giant’s victory parade,
that’s a tip off.
Super Bowl state Arizona
has a lot of witness protection mobsters living there.

I KNOW MY GREEN BAY PACKERS COULD OF TOOK THAT GAME.

first off you ass,
big blue already won
so there will be no going!
Second
don’t tell me to shut up
you arrogant in your face selfish loser.
Why don’t you take the high road,
oh that’s right NY fans wouldn’t know wha the high road was
if it smacked in the face.
Lastly,
Paparoach SUCK,
lol.

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

please help me remember,
what was the name
of that Giants running back who retired last year ..
was it Tacky,

Tiki Barber is pulling Crows’ Feathers
out of his throat right now
_UCK TIKI BARBER OVER AND OVER !
now that the shoe is on the other foot,
it hurts, don’t it?

whose foot???????
mine are fine -
i’m going to the parade tomorrow!!! :-)
upset????
what your stomach??

had I been the commissioner
with INTEGRITY
I would have demanded a urine sample
for the Giants frontline and linebackers.
SPEED was a player in this game.

Great game New York GIANTs.
I love it’s wipe the smilling off tom.

Gaints are suck and i want the new england patriots to win because of my family.

please don’t bring God into human compitition
especially football
…besides…everyone knows God is a Cowboys fan.

BRO,EVERY YEAR IS A NEW YEAR.
YOUR A CLOWN.
JUGGLE ORANGES IN THE PSYCHO CIRCUS YOU FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

I think Brady had Sex Games
on his mind and not Football .
You Play Football on your Feet and ,
you have sex on your back !!

everytime Brady was knocked on his ass……
he was insulted…..
like it was a foul
BRADY LOOK LIKE A A CHICKEN
ABOUT TO GET HIS NECK CUT OFF.
I guess Pats fans will just have to cry
over their lobstuh

Their D is incredibly disrespectful of the other teams and players,
its very obvious when they play
that they really could care less about the
other team.
Also,
as a writer
who adapts mythology and folktales,
why did these “experts” in thier field not know that Arrogance is Blind?

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

I’ve been to lots of sporting events
I am actually working side by side
in my drama club
with a yankees fan.
I have never once in my life saw anything like you described.
I go to Red Sox Games, Pats Games, Revlolution Games and use to go to a lot of Celtics Games
and never once ever witnessed anyone being harrassed.
I’m going to have to say your story is embellished,
My twin boys last year teacher
was a huge yankees fan and we love her,
we’re not haters.
I still have a hard time believing your story,
I really do.
I’ve never seen ANYONE harrassed at a Boston Sporting event

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

Arlene Specter was a low level lawyer on the Warren Commission. When evidence of a fourth bullet being fired became obvious, and that that bullet must have been fired from the grassy knoll, it was at that point Specter came up with the “magic bullet” theory, which allowed them to expain away the fourth shot, and once again, allowed them to deny another shooter (firing from the knoll).

So, with all that said, I encourage all Pats fans to call Mr. Specter’s office (which I myself and a few of my friends already have), and tell him that you want the investigation into JFK’s murder re-opened, and we want Specter arrested for being a co-conspirator in the assasination and cover-up of John F. Kennedy’s murder.

Look carefully at the footage.
I’m not the only one that smells a rat here.
And my nose is 50,000 times better than a human nose.

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

shuvoff.
my last coment wa def not arrogant.
SO YOU’RE SAYING JOE PESCI IS IN THE MOB?

The Patriots played the whole season without arrogance,
without cockiness
and were more professional than ANY team in the NFL.
They went about their business very quietly.
Apparently you didnt watch much Patriot football this season
or you wouldnt say that.

I’LL POST ANYTHING I WANT
ANYTIME I WANT
AND YOU CAN KISS MY ROSY RED AZZZZZZZZ
IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT.
I’M SORRY IT WAS A LITTLE TOO INTELLECTUAL FOR YOUR THICK ROCK HEAD
BUT GLOBAL WARMING IS A GREAT ANALOGY

Joe Montana never lost a super bowl. Come On!
There is no state named “Brady.”
Never will be.

Type your own comment hereI’m a STEELERS fan

Let me refraze that.

FOR ME THAT MEAN THERE IS HOPE FOR MY BEARS

DEAL WITH IT!!!!! GOOD DAY!!!!
Don’t any of you guys have spellcheck?

And if I were Jarvis Green,
I’d practice HOLDING ONTO THE SHIRT OF A QUARTERBACK SO HE DOESNT THROW A HAIL MARY PASS
ONLY TO HAVE IT CAUGHT UPSIDE DOWN, BEHIND THE HELMET OF SOME DUDE.

19 thoughts on “Poetry Slam: Fuck Tiki Barber, Over And Over.

  1. Oh. My. WOW.

    Was the random Arlen Specter rant spam, or did the conversation somehow develop into that? Actually, never mind. It’s more poetic if I don’t know its origin.

  2. I’m glad someone mentioned the Warren Commission and Global Warming. The similarities were just too much to ignore.
    afganistan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. So I caught part of the Howard Stern show this week, and he had sent some of his crew down to interview people at the Giants victory parade.

    Who knew there were so many “Fuck New England” chants out there?

  4. OK, I’ll throw this out for the group: Is “lily pads” some sort of slur, or does that person just really hate pond vegetation? I wasn’t sure, so I left it in.

  5. SA–

    I think it’s probably a lot like the airport the day before Thanksgiving. Or Walmart the day after. I mean, that’s what I picture.

  6. One of my resolutions was to avoid comment threads just like this because they make my brain hurt.

    As prose poetry, however, it is more hilarious than some of the NHL trade proposals I’ve read.

    (Juggle oranges in the physco circus…hee hee hee)

  7. Tiki Barber couldn’t be more annoying at this point. I think NBC should have really watched the end of his career to see how much of a cancer he was to that team.

    NBC now has a Bob Costas (who wishes he was covering baseball), A Political Pundit, Two former players who bash their coaches, Peter King, and Chris Collinsworth. I know a bunch of you think this is the best pre-game and halftime team out there, but you might want to watch CBS this Sunday. Just change the channel when Shannon Sharpe talks.

  8. Tiki Barber is one of the most self-consumed, self-indulgent, hedonistic freaks in sports. You know that saying: “Legend in his own mind.”? Well, it was penned for him. He cares about NOTHING but himself. As great as he was last year, it masks the fact that he dug the heart out of the team for his own purposes. His venom was eating away at the fabric of the team.
    He’s a BAD person, contrary to what he’d like you to believe.

    AND, that deliberate, choreographed, “Tiki” we now see, will not play very long. He will fail, because he will wear out any welcome he ever had, relatively quickly.

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