Sometimes you watch college football and think, “Gee willikers! This is so exciting! Balls are just a’flying every which way! Anything can happen!”
Sometimes you watch college football and think, “Jesus fucking christ, it is the opening kickoff and they cannot catch the ball. MORE. GIN. NOW.”
The gin part was easy, as I spent the game yelling “Go Grandpa Hal!” and taking a drink everytime the Beavers touched the ball. After a couple of quick Maryland touchdowns, I decided that maybe it would better if I took a sip after every sloppy football play – missed tackles, fumbles, looking like a high schooler – for the rest of the game.
Let’s just say that I don’t remember too much after making that decision.
What we should all recall after watching the Emerald Bowl – other than the non-sequitur nuts commericals involving low blood sugar, the Swiss Family Robinson and the “Addicted to Love” video girls – is that the recruitment race is now on for Oregan State senior Yvenson Bernard, just you nevermind that small fumble in the third quarter. (Make sure to check out his fansite, Yvenson Bernard.org.)