BILL MARTIN: Congratulations on the conference championship, Les.
LES MILES: Bill, Michigan and I broke up thirteen years ago.
BILL MARTIN: It doesn’t mean we can’t go out.
LES MILES: Well, it does, actually. That’s what “I’m not a candidate for that job and I will not be a candidate for the job” is.
BILL MARTIN: You going to Ann Arbor tonight?
LES MILES: No!
SKIP BERTMAN: No!
BILL MARTIN: Don’t you wanna open your present?
LES MILES: If it’s a severed head, I’ll be very upset. Unless it’s Nutt’s.
BILL MARTIN: Open it.
LES MILES: OK. OK. …what is it?
BILL MARTIN: It’s 2.5 million a year for five years. And a coatrack.
LES MILES: Sh’yeah, great. I don’t even own A Coat, let alone many coats necessitating an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a coat rack, unless I abandon my fresh SEC laurels, unfathomably deep in-state talent base, and use of a live tiger to live in Michigan?
BILL MARTIN: You don’t like it? Fine.
[flounces away]
[returns]
BILL MARTIN: Les, if you’re not careful, you’re gonna lose us.
LES MILES: I lost you thirteen years ago. You? Lost ME when you threw the spotlight at me on the eve of preparing my team for a conference championship. We broke up. Get the net*! It’s time that Michigan goes on with their search for a football coach. I’ll say it again, I’m going to be the coach at LSU next season.** Are you mental?
*Or a sailboat with a satellite dish.–ed.
**”Unless I’m not.”
Ladies... 
Awesome. I’m about 91.7% sure that’s the way it actually did go down.
First Orson puts Les Miles in booty shorts in one skit, and you put Bill Martin in a dress in photoshop the next.
I’m not sure whether to congratulate you for making me throw up a little in my mouth for a second consecutive day or not.
I believe all AD’s flounce. I really, really, really do.
This couldn’t possibly have happened like this. Mostly because it would require Bill Martin having initiative, let alone taking it.
But full marks for the gun rack sequence…
I want to believe this is what happened.
I spent a large part of high school reciting those lines from Wayne’s World
errr, I mean, I’m really, really cool!
The flouncing is what put me over the edge.
What the hell… it ain’t as frightening as the picture from a couple weeks back of Tom Brady and the goat. :p
This has got to be humiliating for the fanbase. Then again it is Michigan.
~snort~
Will