Saturday Morning Hate Sex

I have a confession to make, for those of you who’ve stuck with this feature all this time. It’s been a source of much discussion, caused a couple of you gentlemen to inexplicably criticize my housekeeping, and it’s time to know the truth: That is not my bedroom, over there to your left. I Googled “unmade bed” the day I started this series and the rest is history. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. (That said, I do love the sheets, and I’d kill a man for those shelves.)

Home stretch, girls. And what a ride. If there’s one comfort we can take into bowl season, it’s that the number of upsets and disasters is such that no one’s humiliation remains front page news for long.

(If there’s a second comfort, it’s that we get pretty faces and forearms of boys marginally too young for us to ogle before soldiering on the following week.)

Lean with me, rock with me, jump with me:

For SA and her Michigan Wolverines: Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State. 222 yards on the ground in the biggest game of the year, and only a sophomore. That rose looks mighty fetching on you, kiddo.


For Andrea and her Iowa Hawkeyes: Tim Hiller, QB, Western Michigan. 367 hards passing, 3 scores, no picks…also a sophomore! Break this young Bronco in early.


For Clare and her Pitt Panthers: Ray Rice, RB, Rutgers. His numbers are no great shakes this week, but if the Scarlet Knights’ losses this year have shown us anything, it’s that Ray Rice IS the Rutgers offense. He also leads the Big East in smoldering.


Today in Ladycentric Rivalry Week action (all times Eastern):

  • USF @ Pitt, 12:00, ESPN+
  • Tennessee @ Kentucky, 1:30, CBS
  • Wake Forest @ Vanderbilt, 2:00, PPV

Y’all play nice, now.

17 thoughts on “Saturday Morning Hate Sex

  1. You forgot UConn at West VA. for a berth in the BCS and maybe for WV a chance at #1. Also Kansas vs. Missouri for the 116th time, (53-53-9) all time for a possible National Championship Game and #1 as well.

    The sheets are all right, unless they’re at least 350 thread count supima cotton then there’s no point coveting anything. ;)

  2. Finding someone with the correct bookshelves, killing them, taking the body out to the desert (including a stop for lye at a Home Depot in Victorville or Palm Springs – depending on which desert you out drive to), burying them, driving back, and putting your own books on the shelves would still be faster and easier than suffering either the Carson or Burbank IKEA and assembling them yourself.

  3. How the hell does an IKEA not have parking?? Wow.

    A wonderful game today, Holly. Sure, I’d prefer it went the other way, but… it’s Kentucky. It’s 23 years now. I should have expected it.

  4. Um, it’s not even a messy bedroom. Not by most guy’s standards.

    I’m not into bookshelves in the bedroom though. But they are nice.

  5. Bookshelves next to the bed are a great place to stash certain things that are best kept close at hand.

    Not that Holly is that kind of girl, of course.

  6. Pingback: Ray Rice | Wugez

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