Saturday Morning Hate Sex

Last week saw the rarest of Saturdays for college football in 2007: A day where half the top ten wasn’t unceremoniously disassembled by less-than-deserving squads. The weekend was not without nail-biting, however, as two Ladies’ teams played games into overtime (Tennessee and Iowa), two won by merely a field goal against teams they should’ve put away handily (Tennessee and Texas), and two suffered devastating losses (Pitt because they were So!Close!; Rutgers because it was never close, At All).

We spent so much of the summer in giddy anticipation of the season, only to be knocked on our collective asses week in and week out by the madcappery of upset after upset after upset…and now, with the closing of the year on the horizon, you know you’d do it all over again. And by “do it”, I mean “bed gentlemen of the opposing team to banish the sting of defeat”. Let’s hit it.

For Metschick and her Rutgers Scarlet Knights:

Pat White, QB, West Fuckin’ Virginia. 300 yards total offense, BY HIMSELF (156 rushing, 144 passing). He even looks sexy when fumbling. (Query: Why are sportscasters suddenly so hell-bent on calling him “Patrick”?)


For Clare and her Pitt Panthers:

Briam Brohm, QB, Louisville. Looks a little skittish under pressure (maybe chain him to the bedpost?), but walks away from another numbers-y match with 236 yards in the air and two scores.


Today’s Ladycentric matchups (all times Eastern, because I love you too much to make you do math on a Saturday morning):

  • Iowa @ Northwestern. 12:00, ESPN2.
  • Syracuse @ Pitt. 12:00, ESPN+.
  • Wake Forest @ Virginia. 12:00, Lincoln Financial.
  • Michigan @ Michigan State. 3:30, ABC.
  • Texas @ Oklahoma State, 3:30, ABC.
  • Louisiana-Lafayette @ Tennessee, 4:15, PPV.
  • Rutgers @ Connecticut, 7:17, ESPNU.

Enjoy the games, ducklings.

4 thoughts on “Saturday Morning Hate Sex

  1. Dear WVU:

    I’ve known you now for ten years. And every year, without fail, you thoroughly fuck me. Yet, you never call. What gives? I know you like it. I can see you salivating when you see our yearly date on your schedule.

    Call me!


  2. Holly–UT’s opponent’s abbreviation on Sportsline scoreboard is LALAFAY. That should brighten your day a bit. :)

  3. Metsy,

    I’m sorry doll, you know we at WVU always looks forward to our time together with you at Rutgers. I meant to call. Really. But things have changed. Since our Sugar Bowl win a couple years ago we have been busy with new suitors on an almost weekly basis. It seems like we are the most eligible bachelor in town.

    Looking at our schedule for the next few weeks we have our old flame Louisville, our flavor of the month in Cincinnati, and our grade school crush Pitt. And after a few Starbuck’s get togethers, UConn has called us up for a real first date at the end of the month. Not to mention that we might be on TV later on during a BCS blind date.

    We still care, we are just busy. :p

    WVU (Will)

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