As you might have heard, our darling Red Sox won the World Championship, and the city of Boston threw a raucous victory parade for the team yesterday afternoon. All of which gives me the perfect opportunity to make the men of the Red Sox our Hump Day Hottie of the week this week- closing out the baseball season in style.
J-Money already covered the hotness of the Sox; instead I’m going to take you on a tour of the parade of hotties (a.k.a. the “Rolling Rally”) that rolled down through the Back Bay and on to City Hall Plaza. A parade full of ballplayers? Yes, please. A parade of duckboats (!) full of WORLD CHAMPION ballplayers? Sweet lord in heaven, YES. Papelbon dancing an irish jig in a kilt is just icing on the cake.
Follow me after the jump for all the lovely boys…
Kicking off our parade, it’s the Starters duckboat, with your favorite Commander Kickass of the Fuck Yeah Brigade and mine, Josh Beckett. Josh is clearly thrilled to be stuck on a boat waving at people for a couple of hours, and rebelled by making his head look as egg-shaped as possible.
How about a pretty picture of Josh to cleanse the palatte?
Also on the grey duckboat, elder Sox statesmen Curt Schilling and Tim Wakefield. Now that it SERIOUSLY hot. No, not Curt (stay, Curt, stay!)- the trophy.
I don’t care what anyone says, Timmy Wakefield is one damned handsome man.
Coming around the corner next,the Rookie Starters duckboat, with Jon Lester and Daisuke Matsuzaka. And heads-up to those of you not familiar with the assets of Jon Lester– he has one helluva fine rearview. Maybe the best on the team.
And what is cuter than a grinning Dice-K?
I think I spot J-Money’s favorite Sox player in the next duckboat- it’s the Middle Bullpen duckboat, with Manny Delcarmen, Brendan Donnelly, Kyle Snyder, Eric Gagne, Bryan Corey and Javier Lopez. And, of course, they brought their instruments.
J-Money- does this cute picture of Manny Delcarmen with his new little baby boy soften your heart at all towards him? No? I didn’t think so.
Eric Gagne has figured out a surefire distraction tactic to keep the people of Boston from throwing water bottles at his head.
And now it’s the Catchers duckboat, with Jason Varitek, Doug Mirabelli and Kevin Cash. I adore this photo of Oh Captain, My Captain Jason Varitek hoisting the (extremely heavy) World Series trophy like it’s a toy. He’s almost palming that trophy with his left paw.
And Jason also wins my heart with this, because he’s ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. (re-sign low-ell! clap-clap-clapclapclap)
Speaking of which, the Left Infield duckboat is next, with Julio Lugo, Mike Lowell and Alex Cora. World Series MVP Mike Lowell is looking muy sexy (direct quote from Mikey), as always.
And Julio Lugo wants YOU to join Red Sox Nation (and not to make fun of his sunglasses).
If we just had the Left Infield, it’s time for the Right Infield duckboat, with Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia, Eric Hinske. My love for Dustin Pedroia now knows no bounds- he’s scrappy and he’s cute!
Bonus Dusty P photo with the Mrs. He’s JUST. SO. CUTE.
Hey, look! It’s the Outfield duckboat, with J.D. Drew, Coco Crisp, Jacoby Ellsbury and Bobby Kielty. If I would have told you six months ago that this picture of Bobby Kielty, Jacoby Ellsbury and J.D. Drew contained a World Series hero, a World Series phenom and a World Series redemption, you would not have believed me.
And just because he’s so damned hot, a bonus picture of Jacoby.
Oh, what the hell- how about another one? (And thanks for the tacos!)
We can’t forget about the Dominican duckboat with Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz and crazy Julian Tavarez… plus Royce Clayton, who isn’t Dominican, but who they must’ve felt could survive for a couple of hours trapped on a duckboat with those other three loons.
Big Papi and that beautiful trophy.
Who is that talking to the crowd on the microphone? That can’t possibly be Manny Ramirez… can it? This is the year of Chatterbox Manny.
And last, but most certainly not least, is the flatbed truck carrying the Late Bullpen boys Jonathan Papelbon, Mike Timlin and Hideki Okajima. Yeah, FLATBED TRUCK- because if there’s one thing Jonathan Papelbon needs, it’s a rolling stage, a captive audience and the Dropkick Murphys playing live behind him.
I’m sure Hideki Okajima is wondering: how the hell did I get roped into this? Couldn’t they have let Daisuke and me just sit quietly on our own duckboat together? Hey, Okey- at least you weren’t on the Dominican boat.
Mike Timlin is SMOKING hot. I have a huge crush on that camo-wearing, dipcan-using, parrot-toting son-of-a-gun.
The shy, quiet wallflower Jonathan Papelbon.
Yeah, they don’t look like they’re having any fun at all.
Papelbon wears Wranglers? Honest to god Wranglers? I love him.
Rock out with your… jock out.
Somewhere along the parade route, he picked up a broom and used it as an air guitar. Of course he did.
Any guy who can rock a kilt, and get the painfully shy Okajima to participate in an irish jig in front of thousands and thousands of people? Is a hero of mine.