Hump Day Hottie: Parade of CHAMPIONS

As you might have heard, our darling Red Sox won the World Championship, and the city of Boston threw a raucous victory parade for the team yesterday afternoon. All of which gives me the perfect opportunity to make the men of the Red Sox our Hump Day Hottie of the week this week- closing out the baseball season in style.

J-Money already covered the hotness of the Sox; instead I’m going to take you on a tour of the parade of hotties (a.k.a. the “Rolling Rally”) that rolled down through the Back Bay and on to City Hall Plaza. A parade full of ballplayers? Yes, please. A parade of duckboats (!) full of WORLD CHAMPION ballplayers? Sweet lord in heaven, YES. Papelbon dancing an irish jig in a kilt is just icing on the cake.

Follow me after the jump for all the lovely boys…

Kicking off our parade, it’s the Starters duckboat, with your favorite Commander Kickass of the Fuck Yeah Brigade and mine, Josh Beckett. Josh is clearly thrilled to be stuck on a boat waving at people for a couple of hours, and rebelled by making his head look as egg-shaped as possible.

How about a pretty picture of Josh to cleanse the palatte?

Also on the grey duckboat, elder Sox statesmen Curt Schilling and Tim Wakefield. Now that it SERIOUSLY hot. No, not Curt (stay, Curt, stay!)- the trophy.

I don’t care what anyone says, Timmy Wakefield is one damned handsome man.

Coming around the corner next,the Rookie Starters duckboat, with Jon Lester and Daisuke Matsuzaka. And heads-up to those of you not familiar with the assets of Jon Lester– he has one helluva fine rearview. Maybe the best on the team.

And what is cuter than a grinning Dice-K?

I think I spot J-Money’s favorite Sox player in the next duckboat- it’s the Middle Bullpen duckboat, with Manny Delcarmen, Brendan Donnelly, Kyle Snyder, Eric Gagne, Bryan Corey and Javier Lopez. And, of course, they brought their instruments.

J-Money- does this cute picture of Manny Delcarmen with his new little baby boy soften your heart at all towards him? No? I didn’t think so.

Eric Gagne has figured out a surefire distraction tactic to keep the people of Boston from throwing water bottles at his head.

And now it’s the Catchers duckboat, with Jason Varitek, Doug Mirabelli and Kevin Cash. I adore this photo of Oh Captain, My Captain Jason Varitek hoisting the (extremely heavy) World Series trophy like it’s a toy. He’s almost palming that trophy with his left paw.

And Jason also wins my heart with this, because he’s ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. (re-sign low-ell! clap-clap-clapclapclap)

Speaking of which, the Left Infield duckboat is next, with Julio Lugo, Mike Lowell and Alex Cora. World Series MVP Mike Lowell is looking muy sexy (direct quote from Mikey), as always.

And Julio Lugo wants YOU to join Red Sox Nation (and not to make fun of his sunglasses).

If we just had the Left Infield, it’s time for the Right Infield duckboat, with Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia, Eric Hinske. My love for Dustin Pedroia now knows no bounds- he’s scrappy and he’s cute!

Bonus Dusty P photo with the Mrs. He’s JUST. SO. CUTE.

Hey, look! It’s the Outfield duckboat, with J.D. Drew, Coco Crisp, Jacoby Ellsbury and Bobby Kielty. If I would have told you six months ago that this picture of Bobby Kielty, Jacoby Ellsbury and J.D. Drew contained a World Series hero, a World Series phenom and a World Series redemption, you would not have believed me.

And just because he’s so damned hot, a bonus picture of Jacoby.

Oh, what the hell- how about another one? (And thanks for the tacos!)

We can’t forget about the Dominican duckboat with Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz and crazy Julian Tavarez… plus Royce Clayton, who isn’t Dominican, but who they must’ve felt could survive for a couple of hours trapped on a duckboat with those other three loons.

Big Papi and that beautiful trophy.

Who is that talking to the crowd on the microphone? That can’t possibly be Manny Ramirez… can it? This is the year of Chatterbox Manny.

And last, but most certainly not least, is the flatbed truck carrying the Late Bullpen boys Jonathan Papelbon, Mike Timlin and Hideki Okajima. Yeah, FLATBED TRUCK- because if there’s one thing Jonathan Papelbon needs, it’s a rolling stage, a captive audience and the Dropkick Murphys playing live behind him.

I’m sure Hideki Okajima is wondering: how the hell did I get roped into this? Couldn’t they have let Daisuke and me just sit quietly on our own duckboat together? Hey, Okey- at least you weren’t on the Dominican boat.

Mike Timlin is SMOKING hot. I have a huge crush on that camo-wearing, dipcan-using, parrot-toting son-of-a-gun.

The shy, quiet wallflower Jonathan Papelbon.

Yeah, they don’t look like they’re having any fun at all.

Papelbon wears Wranglers? Honest to god Wranglers? I love him.

Rock out with your… jock out.

Somewhere along the parade route, he picked up a broom and used it as an air guitar. Of course he did.

Any guy who can rock a kilt, and get the painfully shy Okajima to participate in an irish jig in front of thousands and thousands of people? Is a hero of mine.

This entry was posted in Boston Red Sox, Hump Day Hottie, Texas Gal by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

34 thoughts on “Hump Day Hottie: Parade of CHAMPIONS

  1. Thank you for including ALL of them this time! What a great-looking bunch of guys.

    Someone needs to buy Julio Lugo some new sunglasses, or better yet, remove them altogether so we can see those smoldering eyes. And why wasn’t he in the duckboat with all the other crazy/cute Dominicans?

    Nice pics of Jacoby! I was sick in bed so didn’t get the free taco. :-(

    Wish I had been able to attend the parade, but that’s hard to do from a thousand miles away…

  2. Is Lowell really that valuable that it’s worth overpaying for him? He’s certainly good and he was one of their World Series stars and all, but couldn’t a portion of that be attributed to the free agent season push? Anyone remember Adrian Beltre?

  3. Who’s talking about overpaying? Considering the Sox have not made any offer, and Lowell has not named any figures, there are no numbers on the table- so it’s pretty much impossible to use the word “overpaying” right now.

    (and JMoney… I still heart Manny Delcarmen… I can’t help it!)

  4. Another post made of awesome.

    Thanks, Jacoby, for the free taco…too bad I forgot about it until 30 minutes too late…argh!!

    And kudos to (and yummy yummy cookies for!) ANYONE who can explain my sudden (well, for the past month or so) infatuation with Jonathan Papelbon.


    I’m dumbfounded.

  5. What Texas Gal said, although I’m not infatuated with Papelbon. I tend to go for a darker look. He really is amazing, though, especially the eyes and the pitching.

  6. It was more of an assumption based off his high value right now and the fact he had a pretty high contract previously; he’s not likely to take a paycut. The Sox can afford to pay whatever he wants so I guess it doesn’t matter.

  7. Hmm…Texy, I think you’re onto something. But he’s not my type, at least not as a general rule. And you’ve forgotten one thing…that. tongue.

    *kudos and cookies* (and for you, ecl1958)

  8. All of the Red Sox are luscious. J.P. certainly goes wild with the tongue action, doesn’t he?! Has anyone seen the promised dance duet with J.P. and Josh Beckett?? THEY OWE US ONE! Maybe they’re saving it for ring day in April.

  9. I think I have a thing for Oki now. Seriously. He’s just so adorable, even though he’s so shy.

    Of course he’ll never come close to Jacoby, Paps, and Buch… but hey. He’s so great anyway.

  10. I forgot about those tacos too. Any man who makes millions and still wear Wranglers is all right with me. Jacoby has teh cutest smile. I’m glad Eric Gagne showed up in the parade and not in the World Series. By the way, David Wright was on the Daily Show tonight. He looked so yummy.

  11. Normally, men who wear kilts don’t have to put them on out in the open in front of thousands of people- and so have the luxury of wearing nothing underneath them.

    Not that I would have complained if the parade footage included Papelbon stripping down.

  12. The World Series win, the parade, these excellent pictures… this has got to be the most awesome week ever!
    And hurrah for Lester’s FINE rearview getting a little verbal love :)

  13. Awesome, awesome, and more awesome. I heart Ellsbury with blinding passion. The photo reports of the World Series has made me love this website – I check it every day now hoping for some blessed relief from the tedium of Law School and work. Thank you!!

  14. I’m going into baseball withdrawal already. What to do, what to do…glad I can look back at the pics in this blog over the winter, anyway.

  15. Why does it seem like the season just started and is now over? I have not come to say that awful O-word to signify the end of the season. Is it April YET? Well i have the footage of the parade to keep me happy since my other team killed me this year, not mentioning any names…(ugh, White Sox, pretends to have something in throat)

  16. Having recently cracked out my kilt for my brother’s wedding, let me assure you that going commando is not where it’s at – especially not when you’re in Edinburgh, the ambient temperature outside for pictures is ~ 50F, and there are 20 mile-an-hour wind gusts. I decided to nip back to the hotel so that I could err on the side of caution, let’s put it that way.

  17. I don’t have much to say except 101 days until pitchers and catchers report, and 150 days until Opening Day! Woohoo! Also….
    BOOOO J.D. Drew. Had to be said. Sorry, Sox fans

  18. //because if there’s one thing Jonathan Papelbon needs, it’s a rolling stage, a captive audience and the Dropkick Murphys playing live behind him.//

    jonathan comes correct. always.

  19. That picture of Papelbon giving Oka the ‘prom noogies’ just slays me!! My husband says the Red Sox won this year because they’re a bunch of mis-fits….in a good way. (He’s not much of a baseball fan..heh.)
    Did anyone catch Timlin cracking up on the mound in game 3 when the home plate ump yelled “BALL!” really, really loud?
    Hey, I think Manny is on Jay Leno tonight and Papi is on the Late Show with Conan. Enjoy!!

  20. Great parade – thanks for the photos. The whole team is really, really cute.

    The Dropkick Murphys also made kilts for Beckett, Big Papi and Theo Epstein, though obviously, none of them put theirs on. I would have paid good money to see THAT photo of Paps, Papi and Joshie.

  21. Youklis never should have given Ellsbury that bottle of Manischewitz; nobody's seen Jacoby for a week, & they just located his unoccupied car outside Tampa, Fla. on said:

    Pedroia Saxa! That man has married well.

  22. Really, could these captions be any more annoying? I dont think so. I wouldn’t think anything could be worse than just the pictures alone, but yes, whoever wrote the captions made it much much worse.

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